turnstone Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 ... is a statement that baffles me when made by an OW on LS. Haven't you just spent the last n posts/days/weeks/months/years telling us all about it?
bentnotbroken Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 ... is a statement that baffles me when made by an OW on LS. Haven't you just spent the last n posts/days/weeks/months/years telling us all about it? :lmao::lmao:one would think.:lmao:
OWoman Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 ... is a statement that baffles me when made by an OW on LS. Haven't you just spent the last n posts/days/weeks/months/years telling us all about it? Nope - telling only a small bit deemed relevant to the question being asked, without wanting to reveal TMI and compromise anonymity. Many posters here don't tell their stories at all - or what they do tell, changes from post to post, such as whether the A lasted "less than five years" or 20 - so that there are very few stories where a casual reader on a message board could actually claim to know "all about it".
Spark1111 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 It is hard to help anyone who refuses to tell you what this issue is! I could care less about duration, the color of the tablecloths at the restaurant you meet at, what town you live in, or what his wife looks like. I understand people being protective of certain details that they may feel would cause them to lose anonymity. Yes, I agree. Harder to understand is someone who tells you that you do not know their situation or finds it too difficult to share details which may allow you offer contructive advice regarding their personal situation. It's up there with :"It's too personal." Huh?
Author turnstone Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Nope - telling only a small bit deemed relevant to the question being asked, without wanting to reveal TMI and compromise anonymity. Huh? You know the details of every OW on here so you can judge what information they're withholding? What would be the point of asking for help/advice/applause if they didn't give the pertinent information? Many posters here don't tell their stories at all - or what they do tell, changes from post to post, such as whether the A lasted "less than five years" or 20 - so that there are very few stories where a casual reader on a message board could actually claim to know "all about it". I'm not sure why you put 'all about it' in quotes - nobody's claimed to know all about it, you don't need to, its easy to know more than enough.
BB07 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I think saying those words, "you know nothing about my situation" is offered up because they are defensive when someone has pointed out something that they may not be ready to hear yet. Yes it's a contradiction but being defensive is often contradictory. Of course there are exceptions because there are times when a poster doesn't give the whole story or only gives a small part of the story for other reasons.
jthorne Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Nope - telling only a small bit deemed relevant to the question being asked, without wanting to reveal TMI and compromise anonymity. Many posters here don't tell their stories at all - or what they do tell, changes from post to post, such as whether the A lasted "less than five years" or 20 - so that there are very few stories where a casual reader on a message board could actually claim to know "all about it". Oh please. The people that are posting things to protect their identities are not the same people that are crying and whining that we know nothing of their situation.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I tend to see it as soon as as character issue comes into question or the MM gets a little slighted for the obvious "how can you trust him when the woman who is supposed to be the closest to him has no idea that he is 'in love' with someone else. It doesn't look good in the long-run." That's usually when we "know nothing." Or we "don't know MM" or we "don't know about how special their relationship is." Yes, very special. Deserving of a medal. A silver one. I swear to God I try not to be so cynical and often feel bad for a lot of the OW because it seems that they get very attached to MM and feel very deeply and it is very hard to accept the situation as being other then it is. But has anyone noticed that it seems like they are all dating the same guy? It probably IS the same guy! There are probably 16 married guys cheating on their wives in the world and they just seem to really get around.....
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Maybe I have just been awake all night and strung out a bit on the Dexedrine so I don't want to engender too much hatred or do any hating. But isn't believing in MM to leave his wife etc etc etc kind of like believing in Santa Claus? Except one of them comes more then once a year. But both seem to be able to get from house to house without causing much stir for awhile anyways. Maybe MM should take a hint from Santa and start using chimneys....
betterdeal Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 We all know very little about anyone else's situation and probably a lot less about our *own* situation that we like to think. We all can know how we individually feel, how certain posts make us feel, and can use this to develop our internal and external responses to such, and use this as practice for real life. No-one else will be able to tell you what to do (with authority), but you can get ideas of what to do, and ideas of how some random strangers see you. You can also use this place to offload feelings and clear your head. It's up to each individual to make what they will of it.
Silly_Girl Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Maybe I have just been awake all night and strung out a bit on the Dexedrine so I don't want to engender too much hatred or do any hating. But isn't believing in MM to leave his wife etc etc etc kind of like believing in Santa Claus? Except one of them comes more then once a year. But both seem to be able to get from house to house without causing much stir for awhile anyways. Maybe MM should take a hint from Santa and start using chimneys.... After ten hours of travel I've spent the weekend so far shopping with the women of the family, enjoying chilli and wine and impromptu guitar-playing and singing until the early hours, sightseeing and sharing photo albums. I have a whole new family, who are thrilled to see my bf in a genuine and loving relationship. I was told it was all fairy-tale and he'd never leave. I have never resented ANYONE who said that to me, I understand their reasoning, and their motives. But it's not always a crock of sh.it when a MM says he loves someone and will do what it takes to be with them.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 After ten hours of travel I've spent the weekend so far shopping with the women of the family, enjoying chilli and wine and impromptu guitar-playing and singing until the early hours, sightseeing and sharing photo albums. I have a whole new family, who are thrilled to see my bf in a genuine and loving relationship. I was told it was all fairy-tale and he'd never leave. I have never resented ANYONE who said that to me, I understand their reasoning, and their motives. But it's not always a crock of sh.it when a MM says he loves someone and will do what it takes to be with them. Well, ****, maybe it's just my own MM that is like this then. Yeah I gotta get some sleep.
OWoman Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I'm not sure why you put 'all about it' in quotes - nobody's claimed to know all about it It was a direct quote from this post: ... is a statement that baffles me when made by an OW on LS. Haven't you just spent the last n posts/days/weeks/months/years telling us all about it? It's standard referencing practice.
OWoman Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 After ten hours of travel I've spent the weekend so far shopping with the women of the family, enjoying chilli and wine and impromptu guitar-playing and singing until the early hours, sightseeing and sharing photo albums. I have a whole new family, who are thrilled to see my bf in a genuine and loving relationship. Do I get to say "I told you so?" I'm really pleased it's going well - but I never doubted for an instant that that would be the case! I was told it was all fairy-tale and he'd never leave. I have never resented ANYONE who said that to me, I understand their reasoning, and their motives. But it's not always a crock of sh.it when a MM says he loves someone and will do what it takes to be with them. Agree completely with the bolded. I've lived it - am living it daily - and I think that qualifies me as better placed than those who claim never to have anything to do with an A who state categorically that <insert usual dissing line here about how MMs are only out to play OWs and won't leave...>.
Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 The situation doesn't matter. If you cheat or are with someone and know they have an SO, that's pretty much all we need to know. If you're unhappy in your relationship, leave. If someone pursues you and they have an SO, you don't get involved with them.
daisy love Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 After ten hours of travel I've spent the weekend so far shopping with the women of the family, enjoying chilli and wine and impromptu guitar-playing and singing until the early hours, sightseeing and sharing photo albums. I have a whole new family, who are thrilled to see my bf in a genuine and loving relationship. I was told it was all fairy-tale and he'd never leave. I have never resented ANYONE who said that to me, I understand their reasoning, and their motives. But it's not always a crock of sh.it when a MM says he loves someone and will do what it takes to be with them. CONGRADULATIONS SILLY GIRL! I can't WAIT to meet my babe's family! I know I'm going to love his sis. She's real pretty and we look allot alike and like the same stuff. She doesn't like the wife AT ALL! They have nothing in common. I know we're going to get along real well. HUGS!!!
daisy love Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 The situation doesn't matter. If you cheat or are with someone and know they have an SO, that's pretty much all we need to know. If you're unhappy in your relationship, leave. If someone pursues you and they have an SO, you don't get involved with them. This judgmental stuff is why I don't post everything about our love!! Things aren't always black and white! Sometimes things are more complicated than can be written in a public place, where haters are at the ready to pick every detail apart like vultures and tell you how sorry a SOB he is and how he'll never leave. I love him, and I know he will leave when he is ready.
Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 This judgmental stuff is why I don't post everything about our love!! Things aren't always black and white! Sometimes things are more complicated than can be written in a public place, where haters are at the ready to pick every detail apart like vultures and tell you how sorry a SOB he is and how he'll never leave. I love him, and I know he will leave when he is ready. There's an old saying: If someone is willing to cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.
bentnotbroken Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 There's an old saying: If someone is willing to cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. Some don't believe that will happen to them.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Some don't believe that will happen to them. That's because some of them know nothing of their situation.
Darren Taylor Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Some don't believe that will happen to them. Some are naive. I'm not naive, you're not naive. Some people have to learn the hard way.
daisy love Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Some don't believe that will happen to them. HA! No, I don't worry about that! I trust the love we share. He's been faithful to me for a long time now with a wife in the picture. I'm sure he'll be good when it's just the two of us. I have the skills that keep him coming back for more. My BFF's and I are painting the Town Red tonight in the meanwhile!! Have a great night!!
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 HA! No, I don't worry about that! I trust the love we share.He's been faithful to me for a long time now with a wife in the picture. I'm sure he'll be good when it's just the two of us. I have the skills that keep him coming back for more. My BFF's and I are painting the Town Red tonight in the meanwhile!! Have a great night!! The math doesn't add up here, he has not been faithful two one person (+1), he has been unfaithful to two (-2). Or one(-1) depending on your vantage point.
bentnotbroken Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 HA! No, I don't worry about that! I trust the love we share. He's been faithful to me for a long time now with a wife in the picture. I'm sure he'll be good when it's just the two of us. I have the skills that keep him coming back for more. My BFF's and I are painting the Town Red tonight in the meanwhile!! Have a great night!! Sure you do honey. Sure you do. Say it enough times and it will eventually become that little voice sing songing in your head.
fooled once Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 ... is a statement that baffles me when made by an OW on LS. Haven't you just spent the last n posts/days/weeks/months/years telling us all about it? Or the "you don't understand and not all things are black and white" and the ever popular "you must be bitter" is always thrown in at those that dare to post anything besides rah rah rah you go girl statements. I think saying those words, "you know nothing about my situation" is offered up because they are defensive when someone has pointed out something that they may not be ready to hear yet. Yes it's a contradiction but being defensive is often contradictory. Of course there are exceptions because there are times when a poster doesn't give the whole story or only gives a small part of the story for other reasons. I also wonder how these mistresses/OW can state "I know him better than ANYONE"; when in reality, she knows about as much as he is willing to show her of his true self .. besides the fact that he is a liar, he is a coward, he can't be trusted to honor a promise, he has zero honor for his wife/the mother of his kids, etc. But then I realize that they have to believe this stuff because to not believe it means the relationship isn't built on all this wonderful trust and honestly. I feel sad for some because they truly are being led down the yellow brick road
Recommended Posts