Cerpin_Taxt Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 This has bothered me for a while and I've always wanted to ask. So I will. The story: I dated this girl off and on since we were both teenagers. She was 18 and I was 19 when we met. We've dated five times or so for several months at a time. She has a son, he was around a year old when we first met. A couple of years ago he told his mother that he wanted to see me ( we weren't dating at the time obviously) I've been spending time with him every other weekend for the last three years. I get to play weekend dad to someone's kid. I love it. I've been the most constant male figure in his life for the last sixteen years, even if it is off and on. He has stated, to his mother and me, that he wants me to be his father in name and possible in legal. He's going to be an adult in two years so I told him he can do it now if he likes or wait two years and do whatever he wants legally. Either way I would be happy. My question is: how do I refer to him? As son? It seems weird for me, a 35 year old man, to call a sixteen year old boy my "friend." I used to refer to him as my step-son, but that takes a lot of explanation. Also, if I did call him my son, do I still explain that he is not my son by blood or by legal? Honestly, this isn't that big a deal to me. I'm just curious about what others have come up with in similar situations. I'm just happy to spend time with the kid and play dad, even if it's only every other weekend.
TaraMaiden Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Hell, what a wonderful situation to find yourself in! If he wants to consider you his father - then I think the right thing to do would be to call him "my Son". people don't need to know the whys and wherefores. That's between you guys. And I think it's a real privilege to have someone actively want you to be a parent. The guy obviously thinks the world of you. If he was a six-week old baby and you had the opportunity to adopt him, wouldn't you call him your son? Really, this is honestly no different - except he's doing you the great honour of asking you to be his dad. To me? It's a no-brainer....
Author Cerpin_Taxt Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 That's more or less what I thought too. I'm 35 and never been a parent and only had to help parent a handful of times. All of this is new to me.
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