unrulyruler Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Alright internet strangers, I need your help. I am absolutely in love and infatuated with this guy I work with (he's higher up than me too), but he's dating someone else we work with, and I actually am quite fond of this girl and don't want to hurt her. She told me that he doesn't want to 'label' their relationship, and that he has been distant and standing her up lately. And, as a side note, she gives off the demeanor of a serial dater. I know he thinks quite highly of me and really cares about me, but I'm not sure whether or not it's just as a friend. The fact they they are 'together' is not common knowledge within the company, and before I was privy to it, I was nearly positive he was sending me signals. Truth be told, I was planning on asking him out the night I found out that they're dating (sigh). I told him I wanted to be friends and hang out, I even gave up the reefer in order to hang out with him because he doesn't like the lifestyle, which he was thrilled by. (and man did I have a lifestyle--a quarter a week lifestyle). But he either has been leading me on, or has no sense of self-worth, as we have yet to hang out outside of work. He won't even return my texts when he's not on the job. I will love and cherish him as a friend regardless, but my heart aches for him. He is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known and I find it impossible to get him out of my head. But I also have no patience, I know if I confront him and he does not reciprocate I will have lost a wonderful friend and screwed things up at work epically. But if I move on, it will be unfair to this other guy that I know has feelings for me whom I've been thinking about going out with, seeing as he is runner-up, and I don't want to hurt him either. My only solution that I have come up with thus far involves whiskey and jumping back on the MaryJane express. Any advice will land you in eternal affection with me. Thanks peeps. -R
Karlie Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 ...He won't even return my texts when he's not on the job... If this doesn't tell you something, I can't help you except to say: move on. Good luck.
TaraMaiden Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Your other solution is to try to find another job. You have a guy pursuing you, (the "runner up"....? ) but you know it would be unfair, as you obviously don't feel the same about him. You want to pursue a guy who (like it or lump it!) is IN A RELATIONSHIP already. You also like the girl he's in a relationship with. The state of their relationship, and their attitude towards, and feelings for one another, are not your concern, none of your business, pure hypothesis and I believe, a huge amount of wishful thinking. Your only hope of coming out of this with any sense of self-worth and dignity are to drop everything like a hot potato, concentrate on your work, and leave things alone. The only time you should pay any attention to this dreamboat of yours, is if you know for sure he and the girl are definitely broken up for good (and for nothing to do with you) and he approaches you with an "I believe you were interested....?" Only then, you might just be the rebound-girl.....
Author unrulyruler Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 I had a feeling I wasn't going to like my options. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume a roofie-colada would also be counter-productive? A girl can dream... Men are dumb. I told him I'm the smartest, best-looking, and most creative member of the company, so I don't get why he didn't just pick me in the first place. sigh.
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