Lilmisus Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 My friend, who knows how much pain and anger I've been going through this past month, tried to hook me up tonight with a younger guy....that I work with. Granted, he's a major cutie (everyone thinks so), from Peru, has a great body, and is super sweet, he's just not my type at all. Mainly because he's younger than me, since he's 19, and I'm to be 21 in a couple of months, and younger guys are just a turn off. Also, because we work together, and because he's super shy. Just, every time I look at him, I see this younger guy, and not someone who I could be attracted to or potentially date. I'm reminded of my younger brother. I talked to him only a few times before tonight when our friend tried to pimp him out to me. Mainly, it was just work related, like telling him how to do what sort of job or whatever. Twice I made a joke towards him, but never did I flirt with him (which is rare for me not to do). When our friend tried to make him seem like this amazing catch tonight and tried to make it seem like we'd be great together, I just felt embarrassed. Not just for me, but for him as well. He was too shy to really say anything, and when he did try to make conversation, I was too busy trying to do my job, and too uninterested (and pissed off) to say anything really. He got the vibe that I wasn't interested, and walked away. And at the end of the night, I had my one guy friend quickly walk me to my car (as I explained things to him), since I knew that he was going to try talking to me again. Rude? Mean? Yes. Oops. I'm just wondering how to handle this situation. Apparently he's always watching me as I walk by, and is always trying to talk to me (never noticed before, he's too quiet to hear). Plus, the fact that I'm way into another guy there, and hoping that he asks me out. I don't want to be a complete a**hole to him, like I basically was tonight, but being coworker friendly gave him the idea I was interested before..so doing that now is probably not going to work. What do I say when I talk to him next? Or how do I act?
Eclypse Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I take a little offense personally. I was 19 and my gf almost 21 when we got together. If she had these prejudices we'd be miserable and lonely still, because this is the happiest time either of us has ever had. I don't see this big stigma against dating younger guys. A year and a half is pretty much nothing. We are both more or less the same as we were a year ago when we began. Maturity is not just age. I bet you won't be happy if in 20 years guys pass you over for a "younger model." Why not give him a chance? What's the worst that could happen? It could be the best thing to happen in your life.
Author Lilmisus Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 I take a little offense personally. I was 19 and my gf almost 21 when we got together. If she had these prejudices we'd be miserable and lonely still, because this is the happiest time either of us has ever had. I don't see this big stigma against dating younger guys. A year and a half is pretty much nothing. We are both more or less the same as we were a year ago when we began. Maturity is not just age. I bet you won't be happy if in 20 years guys pass you over for a "younger model." Why not give him a chance? What's the worst that could happen? It could be the best thing to happen in your life. That's great for you and your girlfriend! I'm happy for you! If I actually felt attraction towards him, then yes I would give him a chance. There are plenty of younger guys that I feel attracted to, he's just not one of them. Sure, he's very attractive, but there's just no chemistry there at all. Whether it has to do with his age, his heritage (I don't typically go for Hispanics, though I have in the past), or the fact that he's extremely shy, I don't know. I just know that it isn't there, and I'm not about to try to force anything. And plus, I don't want to start going out on dates with every guy I work with, who I like or who likes me. There's already one that I'm very interested in (and attracted to) who I'm hoping will ask me out. If not him, there's another guy who I could find myself with, who's a great guy, with a great personality, and who I know likes me. Throw in there that I already work with my ex, that would be four different guys in just one place, if I went out with all of them. I'm sorry, but I'm picking and choosing wisely who I want to go out with, and who I don't want to go out with..this shy guy is just not really worth it to me. Though, I know he'd make a great boyfriend for someone else..I'm just not into him.
gaius Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Just keep the unfriendly vibe going for a while, it will be less painful in the end then if you sat him down and explained why you weren't interested and couldn't date him. He's a shy guy so he should get the picture eventually. Also, tell your friend it's so nice she cares about you and is trying to help, but to not ever do that again.
Eclypse Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Wel that's ok as long as age isn't the only reason! Perhaps in that case you just have an honest talk with him if he decides to ask you out and say you aren't interested?
Author Lilmisus Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Just keep the unfriendly vibe going for a while, it will be less painful in the end then if you sat him down and explained why you weren't interested and couldn't date him. He's a shy guy so he should get the picture eventually. Also, tell your friend it's so nice she cares about you and is trying to help, but to not ever do that again. I think my friend could tell by the look I gave him that I wanted to hurt him. And hopefully just being a little unfriendly will help. Apparently one chick I work with has a thing for him, and I've already told her to go for it, and that she can have him, but she wont.
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