Lilmisus Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I have pretty much zero feelings for my ex, unless you count anger. And, I'm pretty much okay now with the idea of him dating another girl right in front of me, which is what he's doing, and me dating someone else. The thing is, is that he wont f*cking tell me the truth. If we didn't work together and if I didn't have to see them both 3-4 times a week, I wouldn't care as much, but it's extremely hard not to care. I'm 90% sure that he lied to me about why he broke up with me, and when he said that he never cheated. The way he said "I never cheated..." still rings in my head, and the more I replay it, the more it sounds like he was just flat out lying to me. When he said that he didn't want to be single, and wanted to be with me still, sounds like a lie to me as well; as does when he said the next day that he just wanted to be single now. When he and our friend said that my friend didn't have a thing for him, and that they didn't all hang out together while we were together, was a lie as well (proven). The thing is, is that I just want him to tell me the flat out truth, even though he swore to me up and down that he wasn't a liar only two weeks ago. I want him to man up and say that he's dating her, instead of telling everyone to not tell me (which he's been doing, but she slipped up and told a mutual friend that he was her boyfriend, yesterday when she was crying). I want him to tell me that yeah, he lied to me, and to tell me why he's lying and what he's hiding. His best friend said he left me for her, and that he didn't cheat, but with all these lies circulating around, it's hard to believe that as well. To top it all off, my job pretty much wont let me quit, saying that they want me to hang in there a bit longer till I make up my mind. The pain is mostly gone, and I haven't cried over him in almost a week since I found out about him and her (and when I realized that he's been lying to me). It's just anger. I told him that we needed to talk to clear things up between us, so that I can move on and just know the truth, but he said that there's nothing to clear up, that things are good the way they are. I told him, that that wasn't the case, and that we really, really needed to talk, because I was just pretending to be okay with everything. He swore to me twice that he'd talk and left me waiting for 1.5 hours the other day for him. Then today he told me that if we talked, things wouldn't be good between us any more and that it would make things much worse (proves that he's hiding something). He said that he'd be right back to talk about things, then he just left. I just want to stop wondering what he's hiding, and I want, and need to know what it is. Not only will it give me (and a few others) the right to kick her ass, but it will stop my wondering and stop me from staying up at night worrying about it. But how, oh how do you stop worrying about this kind of stuff? How do you just say "okay, I know the truth..I don't need him to verify it for me"? How do you hold your head up high and with pride when everyone knows the truth and refuses to tell you, out of fear of hurting you (which is what my friends are doing)? And how do you smile at him and try to be his friend (or coworker) when you know that he's a flat out liar? He's made me look like a fool in front of everyone, by saying I want him back, and by having everyone know that he's lying to me, and making them all feel bad for me. I'm sick of this.
Fufu Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I only can sum all this out he has left, you are not with him anymore, move on, what he had done or what he is going to do have nothing to do with you anymore. They don't matter to you anymore.
Author Lilmisus Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 I only can sum all this out he has left, you are not with him anymore, move on, what he had done or what he is going to do have nothing to do with you anymore. They don't matter to you anymore. Seeing my ex every other day makes that very hard to be true. Sure, I truly wish it was true, but it's not. Especially since he's flat out lying to me still and refuses to tell the truth. It's exhausting and aggravating. I'm sorry but I hate liars, and when someone lies to me, I have to get to the bottom of it, especially when it concerns me.
DollyGirl12 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Well, if he's a liar and has been lying to you, you are still expecting the truth from him? For your own mental sanity you need to stop wanting the truth from him as he's not capable of it. My ex was also a liar. And later i found out about lies he was telling people that didn't even make sense. There's nothing you are going to do to change him. When a person shows you who they are, believe it!!! You deserve better!!
Flgirl44 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 If you say he is a liar and he is...then why ask more questions. It's like giving you more energy to run on your hamster wheel. You aren't going anywhere. Im honestly really confused as to what you need to get to the bottom of? That he was with her before he left you? That your friends kept it a secret for fear of hurting you? I don't understand how this is at all relevant or helpful to you moving on? Be honest, do you want to move on? What I try to do is look at people's actions. Your actions are telling me you don't want to move on, you want to dwell and pity party for yourself. His actions are telling me he wants you to leave him alone. You are teetering on losing some dignity points here.
Recommended Posts