whatdoido1717 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I am only on Day 5 of NC but have been thinking about all the posts I see from everyone, myself included, stating which day of NC they are on... ...I guess my question is, "do you think it is at all detrimental to focus on which day you are on all the time? I know it is something to be proud of but I almost feel like we get so wrapped up in it that it becomes almost a reason to come on here and post it and subsequently keep the "relationship with our ex's" on our minds since it is really the only way to keep some, albeit twisted, connection to our ex. I know NC is about healing, maybe this is just my own personal subconcious talking. Z
confused1989 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Maybe it depends on the person but counting the NC days would definitely hold me back. I know I'm somewhere around the 3-4 week mark but I don't know the exact number of days and I don't think about it too much either. It's only really threads like these that make me think about when I actually started NC. Other than that, it's never on my mind. I agree that it's something to be proud of. I'm proud of the fact that I've resisted talking to my ex, I'd rather focus on that than on the number of days. I'm proud of the fact that I haven't checked her Facebook page, but I'm not counting the days. I see your point. I just always found that if I kept counting the days it was also making me think about her.
whoknowswhattodo Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I am only on Day 5 of NC but have been thinking about all the posts I see from everyone, myself included, stating which day of NC they are on... ...I guess my question is, "do you think it is at all detrimental to focus on which day you are on all the time? I know it is something to be proud of but I almost feel like we get so wrapped up in it that it becomes almost a reason to come on here and post it and subsequently keep the "relationship with our ex's" on our minds since it is really the only way to keep some, albeit twisted, connection to our ex. I know NC is about healing, maybe this is just my own personal subconcious talking. Z Your not the only one that feels this way. I do to. I find myself praying she will call me but only to be disappointed. No call or text. I still dealing with all the confusion of how fast she did all of this to me. I can't believe it. Idk if she is thinking about me or what to do about it. I'm seeking professional help but I'm getting tired of hearing the same bs from everywhere. I'm praying and praying and nothing is happening. My ex left me she said to make sure its over with her ex and she needed time but I know she is talking to him so she probably isn't thinking about me. This sucks!!!! All of it does!!! I'm tired of holding onto life itself
Author whatdoido1717 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Your not the only one that feels this way. I do to. I find myself praying she will call me but only to be disappointed. No call or text. I still dealing with all the confusion of how fast she did all of this to me. I can't believe it. Idk if she is thinking about me or what to do about it. I'm seeking professional help but I'm getting tired of hearing the same bs from everywhere. I'm praying and praying and nothing is happening. My ex left me she said to make sure its over with her ex and she needed time but I know she is talking to him so she probably isn't thinking about me. This sucks!!!! All of it does!!! I'm tired of holding onto life itself Yeah, I hear you. It sucks but keep holding on. I already saw my ex with her ex fiance, like a week after we broke up. She said she was breaking up to work on herself getting sober and she couldn't talk to me and said the same thing to her ex fiance. She lied about both of those things. The last thing I said to her is that she is "EVIL" among other horribly mean things. I meant nothing. It was always about her issues and he was always on the back burner. I was nothing. She just lied to and manipulated me and took me down a black hole and stole my heart. I will never hear from her again. I know she is so wrong for me but I still find myself hoping for a text. Its pathetic but not as pathetic as her ex fiance taking her back after she cheated on him twice. He is not the winner, I am for getting out and moving on (trying to at least). Still hurts that ill never talk to her again and that all our good memories are either ruined or were BS to begin with. She doesn't care about my pain right now. Ugh.
Fufu Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 It's fine to count your NC days and it's also fine not to count your NC days. Because the goal you are looking at is MOVE ON COMPLETELY. Personally, i don't count mine because I'm totally poor in keeping track of numbers...
radiodarcy Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 it depends on the person. i knew for me, counting the days helps. i mean - - i don't obsess over the fact that i've had "x" number of days no contact. but whenever i feel the urge to reach out and contact him -- i remind myself that i've had 6 weeks of NC. do i really want to blow all that by contacting him? NOOOO . so in that respect counting the days works for me - - seeing how far i've come makes me determined to stay the course
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