Enchanted Girl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 The grass is always greener elsewhere though. LOL. Sometimes I wonder if I would give up my singlehood for the f***ed up sh** just to have someone. I really don't know. Have you tried taking up some hobbies or doing something that takes your mind off wanting to be with someone? That might help. Or if you know why you think you need to have someone? And work from there? Hobbies, friends, and career goals. I have all of those, but the need to be in a relationship doesn't go away. Like I said, I hate it. If you don't need it then you can be content either way. I can not. I get depressed when single.
Woggle Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 The best way to be is want a great relationship because it is normal and human to want love but very much enjoy life on your own until you get it. Being positive and living life will make you a more attractive prospect for the kinds of men you hopefully want to attract.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Big cities for the most part have become yuppie, narcissist playgrounds so it is very hard for anybody man or woman to meet somebody if they are looking for more than casual. Maybe people here can look online. There might be people in your area in the same boat as you are but aren't out there and flashy. Yes. I live in Chicago, and that is the vibe I get here. I could snap my fingers and have a fling with a gorgeous man within the hour. I have been hit on in a somewhat sexual way by more stupidly good-looking men here than anywhere. I would prefer to meet in real life rather than online if possible. So I'm starting to do things that I think the guys I like (smart, sensitive, with depth, not shallow, materialistic, and yuppie) would enjoy. The other night I went to a lecture on "The Geometry of Music" , and I am looking into joining a book or philosophy discussion group, or volunteering.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I get depressed when single. I get very down sometimes, too, and just feel lost. When there's a good man in my life, I come alive and constantly feel like dazzling him and making his and my life better. It's hard for me to dazzle on a personal level when I'm alone.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I get very down sometimes, too, and just feel lost. When there's a good man in my life, I come alive and constantly feel like dazzling him and making his and my life better. It's hard for me to dazzle on a personal level when I'm alone. I know exactly what you mean.
lookingforyou Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Hobbies, friends, and career goals. I have all of those, but the need to be in a relationship doesn't go away. Like I said, I hate it. If you don't need it then you can be content either way. I can not. I get depressed when single. The best way to be is want a great relationship because it is normal and human to want love but very much enjoy life on your own until you get it. Being positive and living life will make you a more attractive prospect for the kinds of men you hopefully want to attract. I get very down sometimes, too, and just feel lost. When there's a good man in my life, I come alive and constantly feel like dazzling him and making his and my life better. It's hard for me to dazzle on a personal level when I'm alone. Don't you think it's chicken and egg? If you only dazzle while in a relationship and not otherwise, how do you find that someone you want so much? I'm not judging since it's not as if I'm Mary Poppins 24/7.
irc333 Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Since it sounds like you live in a small area, online dating might be the better or only real feasable option other than relocating. So as I said before on here, I don’t meet single men. I’m not rejecting single men, I simply don’t meet them (although I do have a couple single male friends, but we aren’t trying to date each other because it wouldn’t work). I have a female friend (35) who’s been single for 8 years and she hasn’t been on date in about 3 because she hasn’t met single men either. The guy she was talking to 3 years ago, she met when she went home to visit her family, not where we live. I asked a few people at work at work if they knew any single men in my age range (30-45). They either said no, or the one single guy they knew, I wouldn’t want (one co worker told me about the one single guy she knows—he’s very socially awkward and probably autistic. At this point, I might consider this.) I had my mom ask her hair stylist. This woman knows everyone, yet she knew of no single men except for this one stylist who I’ve meet in the past (he used to be one of my friend’s ex boyfriend’s roommates.) Apparently he’s not gay because he hit me when we met, but he seems VERY gay. I’ve been asking around and I get the same answer. No in this town knows any single men my age. I go out often and I don’t see single men my age. In bars I get hit on by 24 and 54 year olds. Single men my age are nearly an extinct species where I live. Would this be enough to make you move? (And after looking at that penis map, I’m considering Belgium or Ecuador ) But seriously, I’m smart, fit, have a good job, etc. I feel like my good qualities are being wasted because there’s little to no hope of ever meeting anyone to share them with.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Don't you think it's chicken and egg? If you only dazzle while in a relationship and not otherwise, how do you find that someone you want so much? I'm not judging since it's not as if I'm Mary Poppins 24/7. Well, for me, I was pretty much always in a relationship from 14-32. And every time I broke up, dusted myself off, and started living again, a new man swooped in. I was never looking for a man, just living my life. In some cases, I actually delayed a relationship because I wanted to make sure I was fully healed from the last breakup. But now I've been single for most of the past 2 1/2 years, by choice, so I'm a little rusty. I'm also more cynical and smarter about men, since I've been through the wringer with them a few times -- though I am working on getting over the cynicism as best I can. I guess that's what it is for me. I am trying to get over the fact that my hopes for love were stabbed through the heart... again. I will get over it. It just hasn't been happening quickly.
lookingforyou Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Well, for me, I was pretty much always in a relationship from 14-32. And every time I broke up, dusted myself off, and started living again, a new man swooped in. I was never looking for a man, just living my life. In some cases, I actually delayed a relationship because I wanted to make sure I was fully healed from the last breakup. But now I've been single for most of the past 2 1/2 years, by choice, so I'm a little rusty. I'm also more cynical and smarter about men, since I've been through the wringer with them a few times -- though I am working on getting over the cynicism as best I can. I guess that's what it is for me. I am trying to get over the fact that my hopes for love were stabbed through the heart... again. I will get over it. It just hasn't been happening quickly. I hope you get over it. You sound like you have your smarts around you when it comes to men so it's just a matter of time.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I hope you get over it. You sound like you have your smarts around you when it comes to men so it's just a matter of time. Awww, thank you.
Nexus One Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Would you move to have a better chance of meeting someone? I already have plans to travel the world in about 1.5 years, might as well use it to meet a woman. It's not that there aren't any single women around and it's also not that women aren't hitting on me, but I have been having a string of bad luck where pretty much every woman I liked turned out to have a boyfriend, so in those cases I will not make a move. That being said I'm in a sort of limbo right now, having to choose between working and looking for a compatible partner. I've been working days, nights and weekends and getting way too little sleep. I'm 6 months behind my own schedule already. Don't get me wrong, nobody is putting that work on me except me, but I've made relatively big promises to myself. The drive to fulfill those promises to myself is big, but the drive to find a woman is also big. I feel split on finishing my to-do list on one side and looking for a girl on the other side. I wouldn't at all be surprised if I can actually seriously start looking for a woman in 1.5 years. I'm seriously thinking about postponing looking for a partner for some time, until I finish some important stuff. But if it comes to that point, well then I plan on visiting every country in Europe, all the states in the US, backpack through nature in Canada and drive through the entire continent of Africa. And with a bit of luck, I'll make that journey through Africa with a girlfriend, watching the sun go down together from some mountain in Africa. That's the plan so far.
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