Freshprince Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I hear people, especially women, talk about whether she and a guy have "chemistry" or not. What is chemistry exactly? Describe it to me.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I hear people, especially women, talk about whether she and a guy have "chemistry" or not. What is chemistry exactly? Describe it to me. I hear women talk about it too, but they don't understand what it is or where it comes from. It's just another word for attraction. I don't use "chemistry" as a date selection criteria anymore because it's heavily slanted towards first impressions and tends to be too shallow. I think women like the term because it allows them to not take responsibility for stupid dating choices.
threebyfate Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Chemistry is scorching hot attraction, where it's more than just sexual although it can manifest sexually. You like everything about him, the way he thinks, the way he laughs, his sex lines, the way he cares about his family, the way the veins stand out on his lean and muscular forearms, his sense of humour, the way he dresses, his values...just...everything!
Art_Critic Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 To me chemistry is when both people are into one another equally as much and give the other the attention that each needs at that very moment. There aren't any games being played and is just raw emotion. There also isn't any unbalanced attraction.. meaning they are both hot for each other.. I guess..
somedude81 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Urban Dictionary A notion, mostly used by very shallow girls, which suggests that there's this mysterious attraction between two people that's out of anyone's control, and either "just happens" or "just doesn't happen". It's complete bullshlt, and more specifically just a cop out to use when a superficial girl tries to pretend she isn't shallow by telling some guy "there's just no chemistry between us", as an excuse not to be together. What she's really saying is "I'm an ignorant bimbo too hung-up on superficial qualities, and I don't care how nice you are because you're not "hot" enough for me. I need someone more attractive, even if he is a complete and total ashole. Then they go around saying things like "Oh, woe is me, I don't know why I keep ending up with the wrong guys". Gee, I wonder why. Will they ever get a clue? Maybe, but it usually doesn't happen until the girl finally grows up, which is usually around the time she turns 40 or so and realizes the qualities in a person that REALLY matter. I believe that chemistry plays a huge part in a relationship and if that isn't there, then it's just not meant to be.
Red Arremer Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Urban Dictionary A notion, mostly used by very shallow girls, which suggests that there's this mysterious attraction between two people that's out of anyone's control, and either "just happens" or "just doesn't happen". It's complete bullshlt, and more specifically just a cop out to use when a superficial girl tries to pretend she isn't shallow by telling some guy "there's just no chemistry between us", as an excuse not to be together. What she's really saying is "I'm an ignorant bimbo too hung-up on superficial qualities, and I don't care how nice you are because you're not "hot" enough for me. I need someone more attractive, even if he is a complete and total ashole. Then they go around saying things like "Oh, woe is me, I don't know why I keep ending up with the wrong guys". Gee, I wonder why. Will they ever get a clue? Maybe, but it usually doesn't happen until the girl finally grows up, which is usually around the time she turns 40 or so and realizes the qualities in a person that REALLY matter. I believe that chemistry plays a huge part in a relationship and if that isn't there, then it's just not meant to be. Someone at Urban Dictionary has some serious sour grapes going on.
Cee Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I think it means mutual attraction. A simple concept, but a rare thing. And I think that's why magical qualities are assigned to it.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Urban Dictionary A notion, mostly used by very shallow girls, which suggests that there's this mysterious attraction between two people that's out of anyone's control, and either "just happens" or "just doesn't happen". It's complete bullshlt, and more specifically just a cop out to use when a superficial girl tries to pretend she isn't shallow by telling some guy "there's just no chemistry between us", as an excuse not to be together. What she's really saying is "I'm an ignorant bimbo too hung-up on superficial qualities, and I don't care how nice you are because you're not "hot" enough for me. I need someone more attractive, even if he is a complete and total ashole. Then they go around saying things like "Oh, woe is me, I don't know why I keep ending up with the wrong guys". Gee, I wonder why. Will they ever get a clue? Maybe, but it usually doesn't happen until the girl finally grows up, which is usually around the time she turns 40 or so and realizes the qualities in a person that REALLY matter. I believe that chemistry plays a huge part in a relationship and if that isn't there, then it's just not meant to be. I agree, except it shouldn't be focused on just girls who say it. I did internet dating and I saw A WHOLE BUNCH of guys write that exact sentence on their profiles. I always ignored those guys. That sentence is such a turn-off.
somedude81 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I agree, except it shouldn't be focused on just girls who say it. I did internet dating and I saw A WHOLE BUNCH of guys write that exact sentence on their profiles. I always ignored those guys. That sentence is such a turn-off. I think the guys who used that sentence were trying to speak womanese. Of course the totally failed
EasyHeart Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 "Chemistry" is just a euphemism for "sexual attraction". Women will scream and protest that it's much more than that and give you a long list of vague things that they use to define "chemistry" because they don't want to admit that they're just as horny as we are, but when she says "I just didn't feel any chemistry with him", it means she can't imagine herself getting naked with they guy.
Professor X Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 What is chemistry exactly? Describe it to me. Chemistry is a degree that took me 3 years to achieve. Wasn't worth it.
zengirl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 When I use the word chemistry (and I don't think most people consciously think of it similarly to me at all, FTR), I'm generally referring to how my pheremonal signatures react with another person's (a man's in my case). There is a biological (chemical/pheremonal) element of attraction and compatibility. The most prevailing theory of which so far is that basically your body knows who you'd make good babies with, and thus your pheremones react accordingly. So, along those lines. I don't think chemistry, in this form, can be "created." It can be discovered, and not always at first sight, because we might have guards up against it or something, but there's nothing you do/don't do to foster this particular component of attraction. However, I don't think it is the FULL measure of attraction.
Jazzari Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I think chemistry is that instant and extreme attraction between two people. You can see the sparks fly and the feel the tension in the air. You usually feel like you've known the person forever even though you've just met. It's a wonderful thing.
Disillusioned Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Chemistry is the art of making explosions, so affirmeth our mothers. Everyone knows that chemicals explode. The human body is made of---gasp!!!---chemicals. This explains the "population explosion".
sumdude Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) You can pretty much interchange chemistry with compatibility. Chemistry just sounds more exciting. There's physical/sexual chemistry which is on a deep animal level. You like the he/she looks, moves and smells. In fact the sense of smell is so powerful and pheromoens are for real. There are some woman who just walk by and I catch a whiff and my inner animal goes grrrr.. There's intellectual/interpersonal chemistry. Your conversations just flow naturally. You make each other laugh. You feel like you already know them in a way. You can have just the physical and end up with a rocky relationship that's too much work to keep going. You can have just the emotional/intellectual thing and either just end up friends or try to make it work until one or the other ends it when someone else comes along that's lights their fire. Finding someone which you have both with ,... seems so hard to find sometimes. Especially a time when you're both available at the same time. Feel the same way about each other.. oh damn it's been a long time.. I just had to give the' let's be friends' speech to a woman I was seeing for a week. I didn't feel the grrrr and saw red flags so I had to let it go... next. Edited April 22, 2011 by sumdude
Enchanted Girl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I think the guys who used that sentence were trying to speak womanese. Of course the totally failed Nah. They are just being as shallow as the women who write it are. Some people just are that way of both genders.
lurkerlurker Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I'm a guy and "chemistry" is everything to me and has nothing to do with being shallow. I can date a girl who on paper has all the qualities I'm looking for but if there's something missing, something really undefinable in my opinion, then it ain't gonna work. Of course you need physical attraction, that's a big part of it. And you can carry on something short term if there's a lot of that. But there's also personality to consider and how they make you feel when you're around them. As an example, I've been in a few relationships where my SO made me feel like I was the world's most boring human being. Hanging out with her felt like a chore - like the Seinfeld episode where George is hanging out with Susan at the coffee shop and all they have to talk about is shoelaces. When I have good chemistry with someone, I make her laugh and feel at ease around her. We never run out of things to talk about. And I laugh at things she will say and respect her opinion, etc. You like everything about them. What triggers this very hard to define. It's a combination of things.
gromit Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I think chemistry is that instant and extreme attraction between two people. You can see the sparks fly and the feel the tension in the air. You usually feel like you've known the person forever even though you've just met. It's a wonderful thing. Yup, got that! We're only together for a couple of months and when we see each other (every other weekend) we just wanna rip each other to shreds! (not literally)
somedude81 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Yup, got that! We're only together for a couple of months and when we see each other (every other weekend) we just wanna rip each other to shreds! (not literally) You really should try to get along better with Wallace.
OliveOyl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 You can pretty much interchange chemistry with compatibility. Chemistry just sounds more exciting. There's physical/sexual chemistry which is on a deep animal level. You like the he/she looks, moves and smells. In fact the sense of smell is so powerful and pheromoens are for real. There are some woman who just walk by and I catch a whiff and my inner animal goes grrrr.. There's intellectual/interpersonal chemistry. Your conversations just flow naturally. You make each other laugh. You feel like you already know them in a way. You can have just the physical and end up with a rocky relationship that's too much work to keep going. You can have just the emotional/intellectual thing and either just end up friends or try to make it work until one or the other ends it when someone else comes along that's lights their fire. Finding someone which you have both with ,... seems so hard to find sometimes. Especially a time when you're both available at the same time. Feel the same way about each other.. oh damn it's been a long time.. I just had to give the' let's be friends' speech to a woman I was seeing for a week. I didn't feel the grrrr and saw red flags so I had to let it go... next. I agree with everything you're saying here except for what I've bolded.... I would not say chemistry is the same as compatibility. I'm compatible with my friends. I'm compatible with my mom (finally). I don't have chemistry with them. Maybe it's just semantics... I call chemistry more of the physical/sexual side. Although strong interpersonal connections can create attraction that I call chemistry too. I had a ton of compatibility with my stbx except the first "deep animal" type. That just wasn't really there. But I thought it shouldn't be important because that stuff "shouldn't matter." In retrospect I think it matters just as much as the other stuff. I think the true love that has the ability to actually last a whole lifetime has to combine multiple types of chemistry. And I personally have never found it all in one person... yet.
somedude81 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Instead of using chemistry, women should just say, "I'm not sexually attracted to you." Case closed.
threebyfate Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 You can pretty much interchange chemistry with compatibility. Chemistry just sounds more exciting. There's physical/sexual chemistry which is on a deep animal level. You like the he/she looks, moves and smells. In fact the sense of smell is so powerful and pheromoens are for real. There are some woman who just walk by and I catch a whiff and my inner animal goes grrrr.. There's intellectual/interpersonal chemistry. Your conversations just flow naturally. You make each other laugh. You feel like you already know them in a way. You can have just the physical and end up with a rocky relationship that's too much work to keep going. You can have just the emotional/intellectual thing and either just end up friends or try to make it work until one or the other ends it when someone else comes along that's lights their fire. Finding someone which you have both with ,... seems so hard to find sometimes. Especially a time when you're both available at the same time. Feel the same way about each other.. oh damn it's been a long time.I can agree with most of this, although I'd break out emotional and intellectual into two categories, at least as it relates to me.
zengirl Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 You can pretty much interchange chemistry with compatibility. Chemistry just sounds more exciting. I disagree on this part as well. As OliveOyl said, I'm compatible with lots of people with whom I wouldn't say I have "chemistry." Also, I can have chemistry with someone theoretically and not be at all compatible with them, except perhaps sexually/biologically. Instead of using chemistry, women should just say, "I'm not sexually attracted to you." Case closed. I agree it's about the same. But why take issue with the phrasing?
sumdude Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I can agree with most of this, although I'd break out emotional and intellectual into two categories, at least as it relates to me. Yeah, I can agree with that. I see five main categories, you can make it work with three out of five but just barely. But you have to have #1 or it all falls apart. 1. Sexual/physical 2. Intellectual 3. Emotional 4. Social 5. Spiritual
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