NotVeryHappy Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 (edited) I found this note in my wife's Facebook messages. It is to her old boyfriend. We have been married for 20 years. I am not sure what to make of it and am looking for outside opinions. She thought I would never see this. HER Lately I’ve felt the need to tell people things I should have told them long ago and never did. God, I hope that doesn’t mean I’m gonna die soon or something! Haha Anyway, many times I’ve thought I should write you a letter and didn’t and even came close to saying it when I’ve seen you and , once again, didn’t. But before I never say it and have to worry about not saying it for all eternity, I really want you to know how deeply I loved you when we were together and I want you to know that it took me years to get over you…if I ever really did fully get over you … and many nights I cried myself to sleep cause I missed you so badly. I’m glad you have had and have now a wonderful and happy life! I will always cherish the memories of the times we had PS - no need to respond but if you do,only on here...my emails are read by more than one person and this was a personal message i should have sent long ago HIM Well, this certainly has become an interesting Tuesday..... Sorry I need to catch my breath before I give you a proper responce... things were never what they seemed... there is a secret I've kept all these years that I think I need to tell you now.... but like I said I need to catch my breath... and no, I'm not gay... HER well, let's see...it took me 34 years to say what I needed and wanted to say...I think I can wait patiently for you to catch your breath. haha I'm just glad you didn't say what the heck is wrong with you sending me that message. I guess I never said it before cause I didn't know how you'd react and I was scared to find out. Glad to hear you're not gay, btw! HER (Couple Days Later)Please do not answer. I do not want to know the secret. My memories now are of a wonderful time in my youth. A pure, simple, and beautiful love. I would rather not have those memories clouded by what I did not know and I would rather not know that another of my relationships was not what it seemed. My intention was just to say what I should have said closer to when our relationship ended. It has bothered me for years that there were things left unsaid that I felt I needed to have you know. HIMHey silly, don’t assume every secret has to be bad. Sorry, didn’t mean to get you paranoid by being cryptic but you sort of did/didn’t catch me off guard. For some reason I knew we were getting close to having this conversation. I could feel it for some reason. First off, thank you for your kind words. I don’t think anybody could ever say anything nicer to another person. So thank you so much !!! The secret simply is that what broke us up was pride not lack of love. I also have loved you deeply through all these years and I don’t think a week has gone by when I haven’t thought about you. Gee, if only love and hard work equaled happiness both of us would have more than most . I will always cherish your words like I do our memories. I am not as happy as you think and have not been so for a long time but I am okay. I wish you nothing but the best and hope you can forgive the people who have hurt you, and help the people who need you. You are a great person and you deserve good things to happen to you. I heard this some place once and it always sounded right , “When really love somebody, when is enough , enough? Answer: Never….” The best always, I did not see anything beyond this. Edited April 21, 2011 by NotVeryHappy
JasonRules Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I don't think you have anything to be worried about. Your wife talks mostly in the past tense and I didn't see anything which would relate to the present. She never once said she is unhappy with you.
Author NotVeryHappy Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 What about the part about not being over him?
The_411 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 This is teetering on being very dangerous. It's also the reason I abhor facebook and other social networking sites. They create and facilitate opportunities to cheat. Don't get me wrong I don't think anything has happened but the seeds are certainly there. Had she shown you the exhanges and told you what has going on at least she was being honest. The troubling portion of this is the attempted concealment. Either she knew you'd see this and is tipping you off that's she's bored/unhappy or she has no clue that you know and she's very close to cheating.
JasonRules Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 Well you have three choices: 1. Confront her now about this 2. Do nothing and pretend you never read this correspondence 3. Say nothing, but keep a track of her emails to him to see just how far down the rabbit hole she's willing to take this
Michael85 Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 My advice is confront! Don't let this mature into something bigger than it is. If you feel something is wrong with this picture then act! I found that worst thing you can do is let something like this settle and eat you up. This might just be nothing! but better knowing it's nothing now than turning into something down the road. Just my opinion.
sabienne Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 Are these your wife's private messages? If so, you might want to ask yourself why your feel it necessary to check up on her and read her personal correspondences? That could be your intuition telling you something. I don't think you should confront her either. Imagine it is nothing...and you have now admitted you don't trust her enough because you check up on her messages. That could cause major damage to your relationship. Now, this is all null and void if she gave you her password or knows you check her account. But if you did this in secret...you need to question your own motives. After that long together, should you really need to check up on her?
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