nlpman Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Hi everyone, Im writing this post for anyone who is in a lot of pain right now, A LOT OF PAIN , and cannot stand it any longer. My main job is a landscape gardener, I am also a tree surgeon. I also have a degree in Psychology from many years ago and recently (2 years ago) went away and did some NLP and Timeline Therapy training courses. I became interested in NLP after reading a book and using the techniques to stop drinking and pack in smoking, I was so impressed that I decided to become qualified so I could help other people with their addictions and problems. I have helped a lot of friends with emotional relationship issues, old traumatic events, phobias and addictions. Anyway here is my relationship story: I have been going out with a beautiful young woman (quite a lot younger than me) for about 2 years, we had lots in common, amazing sex life, loved the same things and the same types of food, both loved travelling and she really felt like my soulmate. About 2 weeks ago after a few little stupid arguments and disagreements (cat food all over the floor) (whos turn to wash the dishes) and other seemingly trivial things she decided we needed a break from living together and moved out to the spare bedroom of a friends house. We carried on meeting up and going places together (still sleeping together, just not living together)and last friday when she was at our house visiting me she said that it felt like we were getting back together. I felt really happy and began looking forward to her moving back home. I didnt see her all weekend and on monday when we met up she told me that she had got really really drunk on saturday night and slept with someone she had just met at a party. I was immediately overcome by Nausea, feelings of needing to vomit and indescribable horrible feelings of my heart being crushed and blackness descending over me, I could hardly speak, I felt like I was choking and stumbled away and went home. I felt like that for 2 days with no relief, didnt go to work, couldnt eat or sleep, felt like killing myself the pain was so intense and unbearable. Finally last night I remembered about NLP and the various tools and techniques I already have to help myself, I thought about it but even though I have used it for smoking, drinking, and helping others I couldnt think how I could possibly use it to help myself get out of HELL! But I did, and when I woke up this morning, I lay here for a few minutes listening to the birds singing, feeling the breeze coming through the open window and thinking its going to be a beautiful day. I ACTUALLY FORGOT what my GF had done for a few minutes and even when I remembered all I felt was a twinge and a low level of missing her, even if I think about the other guy between her legs pumping away with my GF underneath moaning and wanting him, I cant get back the same feelings of Nausea, dread, heart getting ripped out etc although it doesnt feel good, it doesnt feel really bad anymore! SO.... I think the NLP and timeline therapy worked quite well! I am going to describe what I did to change the way I felt as clearly as I can but I really do think it would be worth going to see a qualified NLP practitioner and Timeline practitioner if you can afford it as it can be quite difficult to do the visualisation techniques on yourself whilst remembering the next part of the process, heres what I did: Visual Kinisthetic Dissociation: First rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10 so you can see what the number has changed to after you have finished the procedure. 1. Think of the episode in your break up that gives you the most pain(mine was thinking about my GF getting f****d) you can repeat the entire procedure with every memory that causes you pain from any time in your past . 2. Imagine that your in the projector room of a movie theatre, watching yourself sat down in one of the chairs watching the screen (so there is 2 of you) 3. Run the episode that bothers you backwards on the screen in black and white with the most ridiculous stupid music you can imagine(so you are watching yourself watching the movie) 4. Repeat lots of times changing the colour of the movie, the music , camera angle, size of the actors, their clothes, shapes of their bodies, colour of their skin, fast forward and slow down, freeze frame, change everything until you find the version that gives you the least pain and keep repeating it while your feelings subside. 5. Experiment is the key to success here, the more ridiculous the versions you can dream up the quicker your feelings of pain will subside. 6. Repeat a few more times. have a break/cup of tea/change of scenery and repeat again. 7. Rate your pain again on a scale of 1 to 10. if it is now manageable good, if not have a break then repeat a few more times. If the pain is too much to even watch yourself watching the movie of the episode, you can add a further level by having another you watching you in the projector room watching you on the seat watching the movie. The key is dissociation, you become desensitised to the event by watching scrambled versions of it whilst dissociated from your normal view point. 8. Experiment, make up your own scenario, remember to dissociate how ever many levels you need to go to before you stop feeling the pain. How about watching lots of "yous" from the space station in orbit with the final "you" watching the screen , that usually does the trick! The effect of this "V K" technique is felt even more the next morning after you have had a sleep! The other technique I used is timeline therapy, its quite complicated if you are not familiar with it and may be best to go and see someone who is qualified and get them to put you through the procedure. The principle is again Visual Kinesthetic dissociation using another method which utilizes the way your brain stores memories and emotions in relation to the past present and future. A good description is here : http://www.i-t-s.co.uk/time_line_therapy.html I did the procedure on myself, but I have completed the training and would not advise a newbie to attempt it. The key to these methods is dissociating images we think of from the pain they produce, good luck, its really worked well for me! 1
orangelady Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Hi everyone, Im writing this post for anyone who is in a lot of pain right now, A LOT OF PAIN , and cannot stand it any longer. My main job is a landscape gardener, I am also a tree surgeon. I also have a degree in Psychology from many years ago and recently (2 years ago) went away and did some NLP and Timeline Therapy training courses. I became interested in NLP after reading a book and using the techniques to stop drinking and pack in smoking, I was so impressed that I decided to become qualified so I could help other people with their addictions and problems. I have helped a lot of friends with emotional relationship issues, old traumatic events, phobias and addictions. Anyway here is my relationship story: I have been going out with a beautiful young woman (quite a lot younger than me) for about 2 years, we had lots in common, amazing sex life, loved the same things and the same types of food, both loved travelling and she really felt like my soulmate. About 2 weeks ago after a few little stupid arguments and disagreements (cat food all over the floor) (whos turn to wash the dishes) and other seemingly trivial things she decided we needed a break from living together and moved out to the spare bedroom of a friends house. We carried on meeting up and going places together (still sleeping together, just not living together)and last friday when she was at our house visiting me she said that it felt like we were getting back together. I felt really happy and began looking forward to her moving back home. I didnt see her all weekend and on monday when we met up she told me that she had got really really drunk on saturday night and slept with someone she had just met at a party. I was immediately overcome by Nausea, feelings of needing to vomit and indescribable horrible feelings of my heart being crushed and blackness descending over me, I could hardly speak, I felt like I was choking and stumbled away and went home. I felt like that for 2 days with no relief, didnt go to work, couldnt eat or sleep, felt like killing myself the pain was so intense and unbearable. Finally last night I remembered about NLP and the various tools and techniques I already have to help myself, I thought about it but even though I have used it for smoking, drinking, and helping others I couldnt think how I could possibly use it to help myself get out of HELL! But I did, and when I woke up this morning, I lay here for a few minutes listening to the birds singing, feeling the breeze coming through the open window and thinking its going to be a beautiful day. I ACTUALLY FORGOT what my GF had done for a few minutes and even when I remembered all I felt was a twinge and a low level of missing her, even if I think about the other guy between her legs pumping away with my GF underneath moaning and wanting him, I cant get back the same feelings of Nausea, dread, heart getting ripped out etc although it doesnt feel good, it doesnt feel really bad anymore! SO.... I think the NLP and timeline therapy worked quite well! I am going to describe what I did to change the way I felt as clearly as I can but I really do think it would be worth going to see a qualified NLP practitioner and Timeline practitioner if you can afford it as it can be quite difficult to do the visualisation techniques on yourself whilst remembering the next part of the process, heres what I did: Visual Kinisthetic Dissociation: First rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10 so you can see what the number has changed to after you have finished the procedure. 1. Think of the episode in your break up that gives you the most pain(mine was thinking about my GF getting f****d) you can repeat the entire procedure with every memory that causes you pain from any time in your past . 2. Imagine that your in the projector room of a movie theatre, watching yourself sat down in one of the chairs watching the screen (so there is 2 of you) 3. Run the episode that bothers you backwards on the screen in black and white with the most ridiculous stupid music you can imagine(so you are watching yourself watching the movie) 4. Repeat lots of times changing the colour of the movie, the music , camera angle, size of the actors, their clothes, shapes of their bodies, colour of their skin, fast forward and slow down, freeze frame, change everything until you find the version that gives you the least pain and keep repeating it while your feelings subside. 5. Experiment is the key to success here, the more ridiculous the versions you can dream up the quicker your feelings of pain will subside. 6. Repeat a few more times. have a break/cup of tea/change of scenery and repeat again. 7. Rate your pain again on a scale of 1 to 10. if it is now manageable good, if not have a break then repeat a few more times. If the pain is too much to even watch yourself watching the movie of the episode, you can add a further level by having another you watching you in the projector room watching you on the seat watching the movie. The key is dissociation, you become desensitised to the event by watching scrambled versions of it whilst dissociated from your normal view point. 8. Experiment, make up your own scenario, remember to dissociate how ever many levels you need to go to before you stop feeling the pain. How about watching lots of "yous" from the space station in orbit with the final "you" watching the screen , that usually does the trick! The effect of this "V K" technique is felt even more the next morning after you have had a sleep! The other technique I used is timeline therapy, its quite complicated if you are not familiar with it and may be best to go and see someone who is qualified and get them to put you through the procedure. The principle is again Visual Kinesthetic dissociation using another method which utilizes the way your brain stores memories and emotions in relation to the past present and future. A good description is here : http://www.i-t-s.co.uk/time_line_therapy.html I did the procedure on myself, but I have completed the training and would not advise a newbie to attempt it. The key to these methods is dissociating images we think of from the pain they produce, good luck, its really worked well for me! Thanks, this could help a lot of bitter and angry men on here. And bullies too.
Author nlpman Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Memories seem to get less and less painful as they become older (time is a healer) Im currently trying to work out an NLP technique for changing recent memories into old ones without having to wait for years for it to happen naturally. When I perfect it i will post it here, if anyone else knows a way to do it, please post it here. Thanks
Author nlpman Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Ive been researching and playing with some NLP techniques for changing how we experience memories. Basically the brain has different ways of representing new and old memories. For instance when I think of a recent memory I visualize the scene as big bright and colourful, I can kind of hear hear some sounds associated with the memory and the picture feels as though I am in it. When I think of old memories they seem to be a lot less colourful, almost black and white and a lot less well defined, the scene seems to be to the left of my visual field and thee doesnt seem to be any sound. So try this........... Think of a really old unpleasant memory that does not cause you any pain because it happened so long ago(think of it on a movie screen if that helps). Note the characteristics of the image(size, colours, location, definition low/high, sound ? write them down. Think about something neutral for a few seconds food, weather etc. Now think about the recent memory that causes you pain and note the characteristics of the mental image. Change the characteristics (called sub modalities in NLP) of the problem image one by one to match those of the old memory(this takes a bit of work but persevere) Take a break for a couple of minutes. Now think of the problem memory again and again change the characteristics of it to match the old memory. Repeat the procedure a few times but remember to take a break between each run or things can start getting a bit jumbled. Some people remember memories more by sounds or by feelings. Thats OK, just try to do the same process but with the memories of the sounds or feelings. Experiment, its all about changing some aspects of what you remember. Have a play with variations on the theme but the basis of it all is this: Whatever has happened is not real anymore. We are only accessing OUR memory of what happened. If OUR memory of what happened is painful we can change that memory so it is no longer as painful when we think about it. NLP has some useful techniques for accomplishing changes to memories. I am currently on day 5 of NC after my GF slept with someone last weekend while we were having a break. I dont want to wait months and months for the pain to diminish so Im trying to apply some NLP techniques to make the healing process quicker. It feels like its working for me. Ill keep you posted.
MorningCoffee Posted April 24, 2011 Posted April 24, 2011 I really do think it would be worth going to see a qualified NLP practitioner and Timeline practitioner if you can afford it as it can be quite difficult to do the visualisation techniques on yourself whilst remembering the next part of the process Interesting thread. So, if one wanted to find an appropriate trained practitioner, how would one go about that? What are the qualifying questions to ask?
Author nlpman Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 To find a good NLP practitioner, probably the best way would be to Google NLP counselling for your geographical area and get a list of possible candidates to research . Every practitioner should have at least a Practitioner certificate from a recognised body (not a quicky online certificate). ABNLP (American Board of NLP seems one of the most respected) Some practitioners will also hold Masters certificates which are a level higher. I personally would probably go for someone who lists relationship counselling as obviously they will have experience in this area. NLP is an amazing system of techniques for rapid reprogramming of memories emotions and a host of other applications. Good Luck
Author nlpman Posted April 24, 2011 Author Posted April 24, 2011 Dont underestimate the power of sobbing your heart out !!!! I woke up this morning, felt OK initially then starting crying a bit when I thought about how much I still love my EX GF and now she has gone. I have only cried 3 or 4 times in the last 5 years, once at my Mums funeral when I nearly fell in on top of the coffin because I was sobbing so much, and a couple of times when my EX was in the process of leaving me. I kind of view crying as being weak, but this morning I didnt try to keep it in, I let it out for about 15 minutes, lying there on the sofa properly sobbing my heart out, floods of tears all over the cushions and snot running down my face!!! It feels like some kind of pressure has been lifted from my heart, it feels like something else was cried out with the tears, some things just cant be put into words, maybe thats what crying is for? Good Luck
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