PelicanPete Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I guess its been just past 4 months since my ex left me for some other guy, and I'm adding one of our mutual friends to the list of NC since he is a bit ignorant to common courtesy. Despite me mentioning to him a few weeks ago I didn't want to hear or talk about the ex at all, he told me today in our conversation my ex and her new boyfriend have engagement rings and setting a wedding date for early summer. Surprisingly I'm not feeling much of anything after hearing this news, I'm not jealous or angry or anything like that. She wanted to marry me for a reasonable part of our relationship but I felt we were too young and I wasn't ready. She seriously wanted us to get married at 19 and 20. A year later she leaves me for this guy and she'll be married at 21. I guess her wanting to marry me was less about being in love, and just sort of an insecure fetish of hers. I don't know whether to feel happy for her or sorry for her. I don't have a girlfriend or anything along those lines right now. I am comfortable just being by myself for awhile. I do want to get married someday when Im out of college and have my career set up, not at 20 in college... She acted like I didn't love her just because of that . Oh well, it's an interesting story to tell at least.
dragonfly22 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Pelican you are better off without her. This girl wants to get married for some very twisted reasons. Marriage is a life long commitment and a promise of devotion, fidelity and above all hard work. This girl just fantasizes about saying she is married, but I'm sure if this is how she thinks, she has absolutely no idea of what she is getting into. I don't see this marriage lasting very long and hopefully they won't have kids right away! Really, you should be happy that you are not with her anymore!
Author PelicanPete Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 Thanks dragonfly for your reassurance. I am happy I'm not with her, in fact I kind of wish I didn't spend 3 years of my life with her. I'm just disappointed how naive and immature her idea of marriage is. If she has some sort of philosophy of being married means being together forever, then I guess she will learn soon enough that's far from the case. I feel sorry for the new guy, he isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed as it is. I guess it is out of my control, I just think she is making a huge mistake. Part of me wants to try to talk her out of it because it feels like the right thing to do. I know you're right though, she is far from worth the trouble or anymore time in my mind. You hang in there too eh? If my ex isn't worth it, then your ex definitely isn't worth it.
smudge21 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 (edited) My ex is due to get married soon too (may already be married for all I know) and that's what finally made me cut all links to her and say goodbye (we were back to friends, but I still loved her). I too think her idea of marriage is all wrong, I mean, when we met she was so career focused and had so many plans. Now she's back with her on/off boyfriend and getting married, settling down. All the plans she had, just tossed aside for the family life with a guy she's left 4 times previously. It's odd that I too kinda' feel sorry for her, even though she appears to be happy about all this. I guess I'm seeing this great amazing girl change so much that I just want to tell her to stop, but it too is out of my control. It's all very confusing, but I guess the line "I don't miss her, I miss the person I thought she was" rings true for me. Life is very strange sometimes... Edited April 21, 2011 by smudge21
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