rhonian Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 In January 1990, I got married at 19 years old and my marriage lasted 15 years (divorced in '05). My ex-wife and I only knew each other for 3 months before we married. The marriage was tough from the beginning as we met while I was in training school in Pensacola, FL. Before I shipped out to Japan for 3 years she came home with me while I was on leave. We found out that she was pregnant. We quickly planned a wedding and got married. Through the course of the 15yr marriage it was rocky and there was no real connection other than our children. Ultimately, in October of '09 (long story short) I was arrested for molesting my daughter. I was put in jail for a couple weeks and while in jail my ex gutted the apartment and left with our 2 kids. My parents had to cover the $100,000 bond with their house. I had to hire a lawyer. My lawyer and the Georgia State's Attorney agreed that if I took a polygraph and passed it that the case would be dropped. I took the poly and passed and legally it was over. However, through all of this betrayal I loved my wife and kids and reconciled with my ex later in that same year. We lasted another 5 years until we divorced in '05. From '05 til present, I have been in a series of 2 year relationships. 3 different women all for about 2 years apiece. I dont know what it is and what Im afraid of...I just have had this numb feeling for a very long time and my love used to be so intense for my family and now I'm just feeling like I am not living but just breathing and these relationships that I put myself in "ultimately ending" isnt helping either.....I have lost my joy to live. Can anyone help me?
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