Woggle Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 You hear cheating men blame it on being hardwired to spread their seed around and on the other side you hear women say that their eggs crave sperm from a bad boy. Why can't these people just admit that they choose to be unfaithful and become involved in drama filled and unhealthy relationships? Nobody makes them behave this way but themselves.
donnamaybe Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 you hear women say that their eggs crave sperm from a bad boy.OMG, what kind of a mouth breather actually SAYS that kind of stuff?!
collegeguy_24 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Because humans are, by nature, deceivers. They don't just lie to other people, but they lie to themselves. Lieing is part of human nature, it can be anything from a large lie like cheating, to a small little white lie about not taking the cookie from the jar. In this case, they are lieing to themselves in order to justify their behavior.
Author Woggle Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 OMG, what kind of a mouth breather actually SAYS that kind of stuff?! I have heard a few times even on here that some women like to have a baby by a bad boy and then find a good guy to help raise it and cheat on him with the bad boy.
poorguy Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I'm not too sure. I suppose though if I had to make a quick on the spot excuse for being or acting like an idiot....i guess that one would suffice. It's an excuse. That's like telling a cop that the reason you are driving home drunk is because you are too drunk too know you should'nt drive
harmfulsweetz Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It's easier than admitting that they made a choice that was bad for them/others, so they blame it on some biological instinct/urge. No one wants to admit responsibility/culpability in a bad life choice, it's far easier to say "well I'm a man, I need sex, my biological make-up dictates it" etc (same way for women with other things). I hear a lot of that argument when first date sex is brought up, about why men can be excused for it and the women can't, it's down to a biological difference. In the end though, it's down to a choice. Everything we do is down to a choice, if you cheat, you chose to do so, don't blame it on something you have no control over in my view. ("you" being hypothetical). The moment people start acting like they have no say in their own body's actions, is the moment they become passengers in their own lives.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 That is because reproduction is ruled by the reptilian like lower cortex of our brain. It is where instincts and the base emotions of hunger, horny, jealousy, anger, lust, etc reside. Some of us can use the higher functions of our brain to control our selves. Some of us choose to use the higher order functions of our brain to satisfy our base emotions. Like coming up with better lies to tell or ways to decieve people. Behaving that way is based on 400 millions of years of evolution since our first synapsid, mammal-like-reptile ancestors first arose. We shouldn't expect such impulses to go away over a mere 2 million years of human evolution. TLDR:The people who say they have to spread their seed or their eggs crave sperm etc... really cannot control themselves. Take heart in observing that for all these millions of years of our evolution we have moved towards being able to control our basic impulses. While those who just reacted to stimulus like reptiles...died out. (Answer this...Where is Pithecanthropus Robustus now?)
anne1707 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I have heard a few times even on here that some women like to have a baby by a bad boy and then find a good guy to help raise it and cheat on him with the bad boy. Can you provide even one link to such a comment?
anne1707 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 ^^^^ Here we go...... What do you mean "here we go"? Woggle has made an accusation and I have asked him to substantiate that. Simple really.
anne1707 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It's not an accusation, you're just trying to start a pointless argument that you will surely lose. Simple really. Hmm... I shall wait for Woggle to respond. Whilst he and I do not always agree, I at least respect him from having an argument for his thinking rather than the "me right, you wrong, ugh" attitude
Author Woggle Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 I don't know exactly what thread it is in but I have heard it brought up. Of course all women do not believe in it just like all men don't subscribe to the spread the seed theory.
NoMagicBullet Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Woggle, aren't you trying to get past your cynicism? Why are you still reading about and posting about cheating? This is not helping you.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 That is because reproduction is ruled by the reptilian like lower cortex of our brain. It is where instincts and the base emotions of hunger, horny, jealousy, anger, lust, etc reside. Some of us can use the higher functions of our brain to control our selves. Some of us choose to use the higher order functions of our brain to satisfy our base emotions. Like coming up with better lies to tell or ways to decieve people. Behaving that way is based on 400 millions of years of evolution since our first synapsid, mammal-like-reptile ancestors first arose. We shouldn't expect such impulses to go away over a mere 2 million years of human evolution. TLDR:The people who say they have to spread their seed or their eggs crave sperm etc... really cannot control themselves. Take heart in observing that for all these millions of years of our evolution we have moved towards being able to control our basic impulses. While those who just reacted to stimulus like reptiles...died out. (Answer this...Where is Pithecanthropus Robustus now?) This is a beautiful post filled with an explanation of how addiction (especially sexual addiction) occurs. I refer often to "thinking-brain" (prefrontal cortex) and "feeling brain" (limbic system etc.). Often in childhood a young person is modeled behaviour from one or both sectors and neural disruptions can happen that alter the development of the dopamine regulation systems in the brain as well as the pre-frontal cortex (this is where BPD comes from, the two prefrontal lobes don't fuse together properly, hence the black and white thinking). The good news is that as adults and with technology there has come ways to fix many of these brain deficiencies or at least reduce their impact. Besides pure cognitive change which is difficult for people that are dragged around by their limbic system. Thank you Mr. Lonelyone for posting this. Truly people, when someone is doing something very short-sighted, selfish, shameful and stupid and then trying to make themselves justified in doing it = thinking disorder of some kind. Then again, some people just are complete idiots.
whichwayisup Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You hear cheating men blame it on being hardwired to spread their seed around and on the other side you hear women say that their eggs crave sperm from a bad boy. Why can't these people just admit that they choose to be unfaithful and become involved in drama filled and unhealthy relationships? Nobody makes them behave this way but themselves. Some people cannot and willnot see their own faults, take responsibility for their choices and decisions. Either ego or entitlement gets in the way.
orangelady Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I have heard a few times even on here that some women like to have a baby by a bad boy and then find a good guy to help raise it and cheat on him with the bad boy. They are trolls. And I think you just want to believe that really badly. I've seen that said by men usually. It's all the men who are mingling around with bad women, get hurt, or never got dated but deep inside, they secretly 'crave' for a bad girl and then come on here and spew disgust hatred towards the ENTIRE gender while women like me who is 28, never had sex, no kids, never married, has to read all this thrash about women hating.
Disillusioned Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You hear cheating men blame it on being hardwired to spread their seed around and on the other side you hear women say that their eggs crave sperm from a bad boy. Why can't these people just admit that they choose to be unfaithful and become involved in drama filled and unhealthy relationships? Nobody makes them behave this way but themselves. ANY behavior which evokes a pleasure response can become addictive. It doesn't have to be an actual substance (just ask any compulsive gambler). These people blame their promiscuity on their biology because they believe that gets them off the hook, when it's really just a cop-out.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 They aren't trolls. I have cited a study that showed that women do just that. They seek good genes from one kind of man and "investment" from another. I don't feel like looking for the links. It wasn't about "Bad Boys" or "nice guys". The general idea that women will do that is true.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 ANY behavior which evokes a pleasure response can become addictive. It doesn't have to be an actual substance (just ask any compulsive gambler). These people blame their promiscuity on their biology because they believe that gets them off the hook, when it's really just a cop-out. The first part if the post is exactly right, most compulsive activities etc can become very addictive, but not for everyone. As well people have varying degrees of disposition to being completely self-absorbed and hooked on a variety of things. The cop-out part comes in if they are aware of their dysfunction and choose to do nothing about it (I.e. My husband for over two years). Aside from that it is like trying to explain to a dog that they are a dog. They don't "get" it, they think that it is "okay" because it feels "good." They may be able to be trained not to chew shoes, but they only know it is because they get smacked with a newspaper when they do it. Only two ways to fix thought patterns like these, awaken the prefrontal cortex, fully get past the avoidance and educate the **** out of it through counseling, treatment, EMDR, books whatever OR give these people such negative consequences for their actions so that they realize it is a serious thing. Often throughout psychotherapy they say that you need to be "ready" to change. Horse****. Newer solution-based therapy shows that you make the change first and then the understanding follows. The brain makes the connection that being healthier works better. It isn't enough to tell people that it will if they are limbically driven, they need to get the smack first and change the behaviour before they see a result. Over time they get better about predicting new results and sticking with positive changes. It turns out that there is a cure for stupid.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You seek a suitable partner by being in a loving relationship with them. Not trying to blame it on "theoretical science." Healthy people with good sense seek a suitable partner by being in a loving relationship with them. Limbically driven people seek a partner because they get something from them, even if it us just feeling like that person's "hero." Those type of women need to think with their heads and not with their p*ssy. Agreed. The world would be a much happier place. Granted though many people play the "Blane the biology" game, others sincerely have no ****ing clue why they can't have a stable relationship, the last place an unhealthy brain looks is at one's self, unfortunately. After the Affair has a nice couple of pages of garbage that WS use to justify infidelity.
J200 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I have NEVER heard a woman saying they cheated because they needed sperm for an egg for a baby. I've only heard MEN use biology as an excuse. My first bf told me that if a stripper were to start giving him a bj there was no way he would stop her cause he was a guy. Another ex told me that the truth is that all guys cheat (he said it, not me). He told me his SISTER'S husband (his brother in law) went to massage parlors to have sex because after his sister gave birth she couldn't have sex for a few weeks (only bj's) so he got sick of it and went to massage parlors. And he said he UNDERSTAND (even though it's his own sister that got cheated) because he is a guy and that's how guys are. I've seen other men on message boards always argue the fact that men are meant to be with different women but a women only with one man because she gets pregnant and then won't be impregnated for 9 more months whereas the guy can keep spreading his seed around. Lots of guys use this argument.
Jynxx Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I feel hungry because my biological programming tells me I need food. I feel the need to put on a sweater because my biological programming tells me it's too cold to just wear a Tshirt I get attracted to other females than my gf because my biological programming tells me to be attracted to other females than my gf What I decide to do with that information is my responsibility, but ignoring it will often feel unnatural.
johan Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You hear cheating men blame it on being hardwired to spread their seed around and on the other side you hear women say that their eggs crave sperm from a bad boy. Why can't these people just admit that they choose to be unfaithful and become involved in drama filled and unhealthy relationships? Nobody makes them behave this way but themselves. They either want to make excuses or they can't explain their own behavior. A lot of people really don't know why they do what they do. It's not always a choice.
Author Woggle Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 This is a precise example of what I am talking about. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3357628&postcount=39 It's stuff like this that makes it real hard for me to completely shed my trust issues.
anne1707 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You say that like he's your husband. Wuggle is my husband - not Woggle. Not that this has any relevance to the thread unless you are going to start accusing me of trolling again by saying we are one and the same No you don't. You were trying to pick an argument. And nobody said anything about the "me right, you wrong, ugh" attitude except you. No. I was just asking for evidence to support the OP's statement. I was after a discussion which is very different from an argument.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Woggle. Those who study the science of evolutionary psychology* agree with you. Here is an article I have referenced here before from the "Journal of Evolutionary Psychology." Attractive women want it all: Good genes, economic investment, parenting proclivities, and emotional commitment. Buss, David M.; Shackelford, Todd K. Evolutionary Psychology, Vol 6(1), 2008, 134-146. The current research tests the hypothesis that women have an evolved mate value calibration adaptation that functions to raise or lower their standards in a long-term mate according to their own mate value. A woman's physical attractiveness is a cardinal component of women's mate value. We correlated observer-assessed physical attractiveness (face, body, and overall) with expressed preferences for four clusters of mate characteristics (N = 214): (1) hypothesized good-gene indicators (e.g., masculinity, sexiness); (2) hypothesized good investment indicators (e.g., potential income); (3) good parenting indicators (e.g., desire for home and children), and (4) good partner indicators (e.g., being a loving partner). Results supported the hypothesis that high mate value women, as indexed by observer-judged physical attractiveness, expressed elevated standards for all four clusters of mate characteristics. Discussion focuses on potential design features of the hypothesized mate-value calibration adaptation, and suggests an important modification of the trade-off model of women's mating. A minority of women--notably those low in mate value who are able to escape male mate guarding and the manifold costs of an exposed infidelity--will pursue a mixed mating strategy, obtaining investment from one man and good genes from an extra-pair copulation partner (as the trade-off model predicts). Since the vast majority of women secure genes and direct benefits from the same man, however, most women will attempt to secure the best combination of all desired qualities from the same man. (PsycINFO Database Record © 2010 APA, all rights reserved) Note that it is "notably women low in mate value" (i.e. stupid, or unhealthy, or not very bright)... who will "will pursue a mixed mating strategy, obtaining investment from one man and good genes from an extra-pair copulation partner" In short any woman who would do that to a man really isn't worth crying over at all. She's garbage, even if you think she's hot then she's not too bright. So what do women of high value look for? Two things a face and body that indicate physical fitness and creative intelligence. Many studies have demonstrated that attraction to a masculine face varies with a womans menstrual cycle. Preferring a more masculine man near ovulation. The second thing has only in the last few years been proven as a attractant to women. Intelligence, and in particular it's outward manifestation, creativity. Women seem to be attracted to this no matter what their state of ovulation. Intelligence and mate choice: intelligent men are always appealing Mark D. Prokosch, Richard G. Coss, Joanna E. Scheib, Shelley A. Blozis 1 January 2009 (volume 30 issue 1 Pages 11-20 DOI: 10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2008.07.004) What role does a man's intelligence play in women's mate preferences? Selecting a more intelligent mate often provides women with better access to resources and parental investment for offspring. But this preference may also provide indirect genetic benefits in the form of having offspring who are in better physical condition, regardless of parental provisioning. Intelligence then may serve as both a cue of a mate's provisioning abilities and his overall heritable phenotypic quality. In the current study, we examined the role of a man's intelligence in women's long- and short-term mate preferences. We used a rigorous psychometric measure (men's WAIS scores) to assess intelligence (the first study to our knowledge), in addition to women's subjective ratings to predict mate appeal. We also examined the related trait of creativity, using women's ratings as a first step, to assess whether creativity could predict mate appeal, above and beyond intelligence. Finally, we examined whether preferences for intelligent and creative short-term mates shifted according to a woman's conception risk. Multilevel modeling was used to identify predictors of mate appeal. Study participants (204 women) assessed the long- and short-term mate appeal of videos of 15 men with known measures of intelligence performing verbal and physical tasks. Findings indicate that both intelligence and creativity independently predicted mate appeal across mating contexts, but no conception-risk effects were detected. We discuss implications of these findings for the role of intelligence and creativity in women's mate choices. (*Not to be confused with the pop cultural pseudo popscience that talks of alpha and beta males that's found on messageboards.)
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