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How many of you knew the spouse of the person you had an A with?


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Posted

Not the details of the affair......

 

But did/do you know the spouse? A friend, an acquiantance, someome you would see or do see occasionally? How was the interaction?

Posted

No prior knowledge, but they lived 2 hours from me so I wouldn't.

Posted

Nope never met her.

Posted

I knew her & the interaction was not good.

Posted

My soon to be x had an affair with his partner,when it suposidly ended they remained friends,then he introduced me to her,she then had a boyfriend,we went camping together with our kids,picnics,me and her even went out fir girls night together. I always felt something strange but ignored it,found out about six years later my feelings were correct, I dint speak to her Now!

Posted

I knew his spouse many moons ago (we used to work together). In fact I knew about the affair she was having on MM. (an affair that she continues to have to this day, from what MM has said).

Posted

Yep. She was an aquaintance.

 

And wierdly, almost supernaturally, on the eve of the A, she told me she had never loved her H. I didn't ask. She said and I can quote,

 

'I never loved him, it was just right place, right time.'

 

So I spent the entire A without pricklings of remorse where his W was concerned.

 

And that is a good way to spend an A.

Posted

Nope, never met her.

 

As a BS myself, I knew one of the OW my xH had an affair with... she was his coworker. I always told him she'd cause trouble between us, and she sure did. The other two (that I know of) I didn't know.

Posted

I know who she is. And my OM knows my Husband. In fact, I am sure that this is the reason we have not been more assertive in our desirable actions. I want more, but not sure if my OM still does. Hot and cold. In any case, I don't run into her often, but it is always a friendly encounter.

Posted

Yes, I know her & got on with her reasonably well. After the A started I really tried to avoid contact with her. Since D day things are obviously not pleasant to say the least.

Posted
Not the details of the affair......

 

But did/do you know the spouse? A friend, an acquiantance, someome you would see or do see occasionally? How was the interaction?

 

I'd never met her, but knew of her by reputation (we all work in the same broad field) and of course knew people that she knew. During the A, I became very friendly with "their" friends (in reality, my H's friends) and his family, and so learned a great deal more about her than I'd have cared to know :sick: . Even since my H and I Md, I've not officially met her - we've been in the same place as each other exactly three times - twice of which involved her leaving immediately on discovering we were there, and the third time involving her arriving unwanted and uninvited to the funeral of a member of his family who didn't even like her. Fortunately she felt the love (his family can't stand her) and left immediately after the service.

Posted

I met her for the first time after the A ended but we had mutual acquaintances so I knew a lot about her before the A started and almost none of it was good.

Posted

I nearly had an affair with a MM. I saw his wife from a distance at a funeral. I remember thinking she seemed like a nice person. However, I never knew her.

 

I wish I did now. I would love to give her my support. She's married to a nut.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I am 'friends' with xMM wife as he is 'friends' with my H. We all know each other well, been on holiday together and our children get on too. Horrible horrible situation to be in but it happened. :o

Posted

Yes, I did know the xMM's wife since I met them both at the same time.

 

Initially, she was cool but he was all friendly and helpful. Then, as I chose to have an affair with him, I made sure to keep away from befriending her, since I was harming her.

 

The interactions whenever I've bumped into her have been polite, somewhat friendly, but distant, although granted she does not know about my having been with her H. If she did, I'm sure she would verbally & physically go for me, then ignore me.

 

Today I saw her at the gym. I did not speak to her, but when I looked at her, I felt better about not being with her H.

Posted
I am 'friends' with xMM wife as he is 'friends' with my H. We all know each other well, been on holiday together and our children get on too. Horrible horrible situation to be in but it happened. :o

 

 

Not just happened but orchestrated, that makes it more than horrible..it will be soul crushing when it is discovered. Double betrayal for both BS's. My grandma always said if you want to their a home down easily, take the legs from under it. That's exactly what will happen when the spouses find out. Their level of stability will be screwed up and the foundation will crumble. Nothing will survive a crumbling foundation.

Posted

Don't know xMM's W, never met her, only seen photos. Don't want to know, hope never to meet. Wanting this to be the end for good.

Posted
Not just happened but orchestrated, that makes it more than horrible..it will be soul crushing when it is discovered. Double betrayal for both BS's. My grandma always said if you want to their a home down easily, take the legs from under it. That's exactly what will happen when the spouses find out. Their level of stability will be screwed up and the foundation will crumble. Nothing will survive a crumbling foundation.

 

Yes, and I understand this situation as well, which you know, bentnotbroken. I wish I didn't know MM's BS, but I do. Their marriage was crumbling long before I entered the picture, but knowing her personally makes me feel more responsible...even though I'm not causing it, I'm helping to accelerate the process, or at least adding to the pain of the marriage ending, assuming she finds out about us.

 

I know I'd feel the same way if I didn't know her at all, but it would make it easier (for me, and probably for her) if that wasn't true. She has no real friends, other than college friends who she sees maybe a few times a year. She's disconnected at work, and her family drives her crazy. She has so few social interactions that she probably does consider me a friend, even though our relationship would be best described as superficial. Yikes...

Posted

I know you wanted to hear from Ow/OM but I'm a BS and knew my H's OW. I only met her after the A started. We had mutual friends and she orchestrated meeting me by having get togethers changed to her and her H's house instead of at our mutual friends. After meeting her she constantly tried to become a friend to me. I believe from what I've read on here that this is a rare thing for the OW/OM to do.

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