fortyninethousand322 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It seems to be the case that if one party or the other doesn't approach it becomes very difficult to arrange dates, meet people, etc. The three women I have ever been on a date with were: 1) a girl from class 2) a girl I used to go to school with 3) a girl from an online dating site. I have never actually done any kind of "cold approach" before. I was talking to a female friend the other day who was complaining that guys were hitting on her in the gym. She said she goes to the gym to work out not socialize. I understood completely, that's exactly why I go to the gym to exercise not to flirt. I have also heard women say they didn't like being approached in class because they go there to learn. Same with the grocery store, the library, the bookstore etc. So, my question is where exactly do girls like to be approached? And how does one actually "approach"? I ask this because I have absolutely no clue how to get dates beyond lucking into one, some people have luck meeting people but how? I don't go to bars and clubs and don't plan to, but I don't think those are good places to go to look for dates anyway.
EasyHeart Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Women like being approached pretty much any place and any time, as long as it's the right guy with the right approach. The cold approach is not for novices. Stick to meeting people through friends and social events until you're comfortable enough talking to women to attempt a cold approach. You'll know when you're ready.
waynesworld Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It seems to be the case that if one party or the other doesn't approach it becomes very difficult to arrange dates, meet people, etc. The three women I have ever been on a date with were: 1) a girl from class 2) a girl I used to go to school with 3) a girl from an online dating site. I have never actually done any kind of "cold approach" before. I was talking to a female friend the other day who was complaining that guys were hitting on her in the gym. She said she goes to the gym to work out not socialize. I understood completely, that's exactly why I go to the gym to exercise not to flirt. I have also heard women say they didn't like being approached in class because they go there to learn. Same with the grocery store, the library, the bookstore etc. So, my question is where exactly do girls like to be approached? And how does one actually "approach"? I ask this because I have absolutely no clue how to get dates beyond lucking into one, some people have luck meeting people but how? I don't go to bars and clubs and don't plan to, but I don't think those are good places to go to look for dates anyway. It boils down to common sense and respect. For example, interrupting a girl who is wearing headphones and doing hard intervals on a treadmill at the gym would be rude. That being said, you shouldn't be afraid of approaching women anywhere because you might offend or annoy them. We live in a society, and human interaction is normal. If you're respectful and not creepy when you approach someone, and she has a problem with it, it's on her, not you.
Cee Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I suggest the lukewarm approach, in that there is already an establishment of common ground. I've dated guys I've met at concerts, parties, and bars. If the conversation is long enough, then I feel like I kind of know them. These lukewarm approaches work best when I talk to the guy, go our separate ways for a while, and then talk again later in the night. If I'm interested, I give my number at the end of a night and after I talked to the guy at least a couple of times. My most serious boyfriend was a guy I met in a bar and that's how it transpired. So maybe I'm biased thinking that's the best way. I don't give my number to guys who ask for it too quickly. Even if I'm attracted, it feels like drunken player behavior. Maybe other women are okay with that, but I'm not.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 Women like being approached pretty much any place and any time, as long as it's the right guy with the right approach. The cold approach is not for novices. Stick to meeting people through friends and social events until you're comfortable enough talking to women to attempt a cold approach. You'll know when you're ready. I can talk to girls easily enough, but I never get past the whole "hi how are you?" type of interaction. Even with girls I've known for a while. And even that kind of interaction is rare since I rarely meet women through my (rather large) social circle.
zengirl Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 A lot of my friends met in college in classes. Or in social activities/groups. Cold approaches in random places almost never work; there are exceptions, of course, but don't focus on exceptions when making plans of action. Now, if you go somewhere regularly (like a neighborhood pub or the gym, where you see the same people in your Wednesday yoga class or something), that's a different story.
lcp30 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 What these guys are talking about dose not answer your question. Listen I am no don juan but I do get my fair share of woman, and I talk to all type. How to approach a women is easy. Now if you are at the gym and you see a lady working out that you would like to talk, do not do the usual the" hey how are you, my name is" they will brush you off. You have to be aware of your environment. At the gym you want to approach and ask about something like " I notice you have nice firm legs what did you do to accomplish that", or something along those lines. What needs to be understood is that EVERYBODY like to talk about themselves. She will be more than happy to tell you her work out plan people like helping other people (usually) now that you spark up so convo, and she is finish gives you her steps to strong legs lol that is when you introduce yourself. Now you have broken the ICE! She thinks you are talking to her for information when really you are devising a plan how to get information that you want like her number. If you want to approach any where this is what you do. 1st complement her about any thing, her dog, her shoes, her ear rings, what ever! Find something on her an complement her on it, ask her question about it! that is breaking the ice. 2nd introduce yourself 3rd (this is what i like to do an normally it works) I go straight for what I want which is to get a phone #. Now this is right out of my, if you want to call it pick up line book lol. I start out with "hello" i say some word in between then " you are beautiful", "you would not mine me asking if you currently have a boyfriend?"( trying to find out if she is interested in talking to me or not) If she says yes I leave, if no then i keep talking. the whole point of this is KEEP IT SIMPLE! there is no magic words to say it is all about conversing. There is a say that goes "conversation rules the nation" an it is true. but to do that u first mus break the ice. good luck hope this helps you out!
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