Aero Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I have had this on my mind for a few weeks now and I wanted to share and get some opinions... Me and my girlfriend were together 3 years. We broke up about 5 months ago because things weren't working out well, we both had a lot going on and decided to end it, it didn't end in a bad way. She got into another relationship with someone she met on a dating website right after we broke up (within a week or so). 2 months ago we got back together and things have been going pretty well. We both have express how we want this to work and worked out a lot of the issues we had had in the past. Recently she has told me that she is going on a trip to here old state to visit her old high school friends that she hasn't seen in a long time. I am not able to go because of work. She is going to meet her old best friend and than they are going a few hours away to a place by the ocean. Her friend is bringing some of her new friends. However, when I asked my girlfriend about who is going or if it is guys and girls, she said, maybe some guys too, that she doesn't know who the other girls might invite, but I am pretty sure there will be guys going. I don't mind here having a girls get away. She works hard and deserves that. I might be wrong, but I don't think it is right for here to go with a bunch of singles girls and guys. I have my worried because she is not telling me much of the details and it just seems a little weird. They are all getting hotels rooms and staying near one another and she doesn't know any of the people except her friend who she hasn't seen in many years. Recently she has been on FB a lot talking to people from her old town, including a few guys. I made a general comment about it because in 3 years she never had spoken to them and then all of a sudden she is talking to everyone and wants going to see them. Most of her ex boyfriends are there and I noticed one of them is who she is talking to on FB. It just makes me wonder. Any ideas? We are open with each other and can talk, but about this topic she seems to be very vague or gets upset when I bring it up, as if I cant trust her. any comments would help.
creighton0123 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 In your whole time together, has she ever expressed potential or flag behavior for infidelity? Do you find yourself asking whether or not she can be friends with other men? If the answer to both of this is no, there doesn't seem to be an issue here. Trust her. Let her have a good time without making her worry about your opinion of her short trip. You'll most likely feel better for it in the end.
chucksagent Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 (edited) Not a fan... I'm no expert on these things - but I can tell you this much; at the beach PARTYING happens...people make bad decisions when they are drunk. Even the MOST trustworthy people make bad decisions when drunk. Not a great atmosphere for a woman (or a man) in a committed relationship. If you were there - it'd be totally different. Or if she was 21 (should stay single in early 20's regardless) maybe the partying would be expected. But like you said; if she hasn't seen these people for years, why now is it SOOOO important to go on this trip. Bottom line - I don't buy into this idea that some people are cheaters and some people aren't. I find it VERY hard to believe EVERY person who cheats sets out to do so or has those intentions from the get go (granted many probably do). I am a more firm believer in.... DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN A BAD SITUATION!!! We are humans, we make mistakes...bottom line...so how do you prevent making a mistake? Avoid bad situations. Getting drunk around a bunch of old boyfriends is about as bad a situation as you can put yourself in - bottom line. If she cared about you enough, she would understand these VERY reasonable concerns and go on vacation with you instead when you can get the time off from work. Edited April 21, 2011 by chucksagent
JHS Posted April 23, 2011 Posted April 23, 2011 I have had this on my mind for a few weeks now and I wanted to share and get some opinions... Me and my girlfriend were together 3 years. We broke up about 5 months ago because things weren't working out well, we both had a lot going on and decided to end it, it didn't end in a bad way. She got into another relationship with someone she met on a dating website right after we broke up (within a week or so). 2 months ago we got back together and things have been going pretty well. We both have express how we want this to work and worked out a lot of the issues we had had in the past. Recently she has told me that she is going on a trip to here old state to visit her old high school friends that she hasn't seen in a long time. I am not able to go because of work. She is going to meet her old best friend and than they are going a few hours away to a place by the ocean. Her friend is bringing some of her new friends. However, when I asked my girlfriend about who is going or if it is guys and girls, she said, maybe some guys too, that she doesn't know who the other girls might invite, but I am pretty sure there will be guys going. I don't mind here having a girls get away. She works hard and deserves that. I might be wrong, but I don't think it is right for here to go with a bunch of singles girls and guys. I have my worried because she is not telling me much of the details and it just seems a little weird. They are all getting hotels rooms and staying near one another and she doesn't know any of the people except her friend who she hasn't seen in many years. Recently she has been on FB a lot talking to people from her old town, including a few guys. I made a general comment about it because in 3 years she never had spoken to them and then all of a sudden she is talking to everyone and wants going to see them. Most of her ex boyfriends are there and I noticed one of them is who she is talking to on FB. It just makes me wonder. Any ideas? We are open with each other and can talk, but about this topic she seems to be very vague or gets upset when I bring it up, as if I cant trust her. any comments would help. Well, you don't trust her, anyway, and after 3 years. What kind of relationship is that?
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