lynn54 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 i've been engaged to my fiance for about a year now, and we just had a baby 6 months ago. now we're planning on getting married in december, and ever since our son has been born....i NEVER want to have sex. literally never...i would be perfectly fine living without it. we seem to argue all the time now, even though i know we love eachother very much. whenever i do decide to just have sex with him and "get it over with" only for his sake, the whole time i just wanna scream "STOP!!!", i just can't enjoy it. i dont know what it is. i have been sexually abused as a child, but that never stopped me from enjoying sex before, its just been the past 6-8 months really. is it just because of our new baby? will our sex life ever go back to normal? we say very hurtful things to eachother, and everynight when he wants to have sex im just thinking "are you kidding me???" he wont hold my hand or cuddle with me but somehow he wants to do me every night? has anyone else experienced this? what should i do??
johan Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Sounds like some major emotional/psychological issues to me. This is is the kind of thing you should really see a professional for.
WorldIsYours Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 i've been engaged to my fiance for about a year now, and we just had a baby 6 months ago. now we're planning on getting married in december, and ever since our son has been born....i NEVER want to have sex. literally never...i would be perfectly fine living without it. we seem to argue all the time now, even though i know we love eachother very much. whenever i do decide to just have sex with him and "get it over with" only for his sake, the whole time i just wanna scream "STOP!!!", i just can't enjoy it. i dont know what it is. i have been sexually abused as a child, but that never stopped me from enjoying sex before, its just been the past 6-8 months really. is it just because of our new baby? will our sex life ever go back to normal? we say very hurtful things to eachother, and everynight when he wants to have sex im just thinking "are you kidding me???" he wont hold my hand or cuddle with me but somehow he wants to do me every night? has anyone else experienced this? what should i do?? Is it the fact that you guys argue or that you simply don't like sex with him? If it's the latter, let him go or both of you go to counseling.
VicJay79 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Lynnn, I agree with the rest of the people here. You should go to couples counceling. I moreover will tell you what your saying is not uncommon. Guys and Girls communicate and have different methods of getting their needs met. I would recommend reading a relationship book together. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus sounds like a good one to start with. i've been engaged to my fiance for about a year now, and we just had a baby 6 months ago. now we're planning on getting married in december, and ever since our son has been born....i NEVER want to have sex. literally never...i would be perfectly fine living without it. we seem to argue all the time now, even though i know we love eachother very much. whenever i do decide to just have sex with him and "get it over with" only for his sake, the whole time i just wanna scream "STOP!!!", i just can't enjoy it. i dont know what it is. i have been sexually abused as a child, but that never stopped me from enjoying sex before, its just been the past 6-8 months really. is it just because of our new baby? will our sex life ever go back to normal? we say very hurtful things to eachother, and everynight when he wants to have sex im just thinking "are you kidding me???" he wont hold my hand or cuddle with me but somehow he wants to do me every night? has anyone else experienced this? what should i do??
tyciol Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Sometimes guys do want to have sex without hand-holding or cuddling. This is kind of the whole "rage sex" thing, probably highly associated with rape. The thing is, while it's possible he's picking up on your discontent and ignoring it, it's also possible he's oblivious to it. Due to that, it may be worthwhile to talk with him and express that you're not enjoying sex as it currently is and want to try other approaches to intimacy. I think most guys enjoy a more receptive and happy partner so it could be better for both of you in the long run.
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