z00m25 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 (edited) Just looking for some advice. Me and my ex recently got back together after both of us making mistakes the first time around. We dated for a year and 8 months. After finding this site I feel like my eyes are open and I am so much more aware of what goes on now. At the same time it kind of sucks because I used to be head over heels for this girl but now I realize its all just a game that I never really went through before. But we both are really still in love with each other and i still want to be with her so thats what counts at the end of the day. Originally I was clingy, jealous, controlling, would constantly blow up her phone, needy, you name it i probably did it. Downloaded the ex squared system and when it listed everything that makes someone lose attraction i had done everything on the list...couldn't help but laugh at myself. But yeah im definatley not very experienced in the whole relationship game. ive dated probably 5 girls total but shes the first one ive ever loved or felt this way about and i dont want things to get messed up again. i try to leave her alone and not text her nearly as much as i once had, have been trying to get her to speak first and then wait at least 5 minutes when we havent talked in a while, but at the same time i dont want her to think that i dont care. and ive been trying to keep going to the gym to get in better shape and take the extra minute to make sure my appearence is better. but yeah im just worried and want to make sure i take whatever steps that i possibly can to make sure that I dont mess this up. i know now that i need to put more effort into the relationship and myself but at the same time i realize now its on her just as much as its on me. any advice is appriciated Edited April 20, 2011 by z00m25
Jazzari Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It sounds like you're doing the right things. I don't have any advice but I wish you the best of luck!
Author z00m25 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 yeah the first thing she said after the first couple days was how much more confident i seemed to be and how i knew what i want. ex 2 system worked for me haha but always seems that theres more i can be doing i guess
utterer of lies Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 lol no advice?? Well, your post sounds more like spam for ex^2 than anything else.
Kelemort Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 You're doing a good job by focusing more on your OWN life. Getting your own hobbies, hanging out with your friends, going to work, school, internships, etc. Work on YOURSELF, separate from you. You do not need her - she is a complement to your life but not the completion of it. I also have to ask why you've displayed all of these jealous, insecure, irrational behaviors in the past. Did you do this in your other relationships as well? Has your girlfriend done anything to increase that jealousy (i.e., you say you both made mistakes the first time around - was she flirting with others? Did she cheat on you?). Jealousy can sometimes be a twofold thing - she could be engaging in behaviors that are encouraging the jealousy, which she should probably stop (unless, of course, the behaviors that are encouraging the jealousy are, say, wearing make-up or something). Keep yourself busy to try and diminish the jealousy.
Author z00m25 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 You're doing a good job by focusing more on your OWN life. Getting your own hobbies, hanging out with your friends, going to work, school, internships, etc. Work on YOURSELF, separate from you. You do not need her - she is a complement to your life but not the completion of it. I also have to ask why you've displayed all of these jealous, insecure, irrational behaviors in the past. Did you do this in your other relationships as well? Has your girlfriend done anything to increase that jealousy (i.e., you say you both made mistakes the first time around - was she flirting with others? Did she cheat on you?). Jealousy can sometimes be a twofold thing - she could be engaging in behaviors that are encouraging the jealousy, which she should probably stop (unless, of course, the behaviors that are encouraging the jealousy are, say, wearing make-up or something). Keep yourself busy to try and diminish the jealousy. yeah she did and ill never forgive her for it. and as far as my other relationships go like i said i dont have that much of a history, shes the only girl i took seriously. but thanks for the advice. and no im not spamming for ex2 i was just saying after listening to it it opened my eyes as to how unnattractive i was actually being. i had never been in a relationship this long before and i was devestated when we broke up. Its so hard trying to keep space between us, like as much as I want to avoid her and make her come to me all i really want is to chat with her all day..been doing a pretty good job so far id say. i mean i want to be with her but at the same time i know shes scarred me for life and i wont ever be the same again the whole experience was eye opening haha wish it would have happened earlier in my life with me now being 23
Bridgey Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 yeah she did and ill never forgive her for it. This is a problem. If you want to be with her long term this is going to get in the way of truly being happy. If you can't forgive her don't stay with her. It sounds like you're working really hard to please her, but you can't forget about your own happiness. I hope you guys can work past it, but don't lie to yourself and think it won't become a problem later on.
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