Wondering if this is the right move?

[mshummy88]

Hey again everyone, so as it stands from my last post I haven't talked to or heard from my ex since last friday when she texted me "good luck at orientation". You could call it NC on my part because I haven't made the effort to txt her or anything, although I haven't heard from her either.

 

It was going well until recently when I started to think about if this is really the right thing and I'm starting to get worried about it. I mean this girl I've cared for more then anyone and she was with this guy for 3 months and all during it she would say she missed me and that she keeps seeing signs for us. If you've read my previous posts the guy broke up with her and leaves in may for basic training and she was telling me just to wait until may 3rd when he leaves and everything will be different. I just need advice if this is a good idea or not because right now my head is spinning on what she's thinking or if this is making her stick with him or if this is the right thing to do.. thanks everyone

[mshummy88]

Edit: I understand that Nc is for personal healing which I've been doing especially with what was happening last week with her. But its just made me think a lot because I keep having dreams of her and waking up with her on my mind. Just need a little reassurance and advice

[ahoy]

"Hi, wait until X leaves on the 3rd of May. You can be my safety net. Don't mind do you?"

 

Doesn't sound very appealing to me :S

[mshummy88]

Ha no not at all. He's kept asking her back and shekept givinghim a not but after I saw them holding hands last week with her still telling me they're not together..thats what set me off.

[ahoy]

Is it really worth hurting yourself for the sake of somebody that seems to either be stringing you along, or even stringing you both along? I'm no expert but she seems like she hasn't got a clue what she wants - are you okay with being a "hm, maybe I'll see how it goes with him again" boyfriend? Or would you prefer to hold out until you either get an honest, sincere chance at reconciliation?

 

Even if you got back together, I can't imagine it'd last for long if she's not 110% sure that's what she wants when the decision is made. I made that mistake with my ex - she said she wanted me back, we got back together and a few months down the line she buggers off again leaving me back at square one.

[mshummy88]

Yea i see what you're saying. I would want an honest fore sure answer instead of her being like "well now that he's gone..back to the ex". Like I said its been a couple days short of a week that I haven't heard from her. Before when I would cut off communication with her she would try and get back in contact but not this time, maybe she gets the hint and is sorting this stuff out. Just mostly irks me because when we talked about the while maybe having another chance she told me she wants to be with me but she eants to see how we act as friends first to make sure we didn't fight. "Babysteps" in other words

[ahoy]

You can't be friends to see whether you'll fight or not. Being friends and being romantically involved are two completely different ballgames, with completely different goals and challenges. So her logic is flawed on that part, at the very least.

[mshummy88]

Sweet at least I'm not the only one who thinks that. Plus if it were true logic I barely got to hang out with her because he was always seeing her which whenever she wasnt around him him that's when I would hear from her. It never made any sense because when we did hang out she was all flirty and acted like we were together from her actions. I just don't get her, over the summer i dated a girl for 2-3 months but ended it because I couldn't do it because I wasn't over my ex and it felt like I was using the new girl to replace her so instead of toying and using both I did the right thing and broke it off. Don't understand how she keeps this up.