acstallion Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Hello everyone, I am new to this site and I am only 16 years old and looking for some help. I have been with this girl for nearly 3 years now, we have been together since the age of 13, we are each other's first love and first for everything. We would really like to spend the rest of our lives with one another. We have lost our virginity to one another and everythinh, However October last year she cheated on me for the third time, I forgave her after the first and second time but not sure whether to forgive her this time. I am also not sure if they had sex or not. This boy was one of my best and most trusted friend that I've had even though he has got a reputation to be a player and a sexual addict. Apart from myself this boy was the only other boy my girlfriend talked too. I did not worry about them two talking as I trusted both even though she had cheated on me before she swore that she would never do it again. Just before she cheated on me we were going through a slightly rough patch as there was rumours going around I was having sex with another girl which were not true, she realised the rumours were fake after all the damage had been done to me. We also stopped having sex with one another during this period. One night she rang me and told me I'm with your friend in my house now but I still want to be friends with you, I did not understand her so I just cut the phone off, the next day she apologised to me and got back with me, well that's what I thought, couple of days later I found out she was still with him, at this stage I was literally broken down, I also found out they have been continuously seeing each other at her house for a week, few days later they eventually broke up and she came back to me, I accepted her back and gave her another chance. After two weeks of there braking up at school this boy started saying to everyone that he has had sex with my girlfriend on numerous occasions at her house, the way he says it is really believable and he is fluent when saying what he has done, he also has a reputation to have sex with many girls as I've said earlier. My girlfriends denies that she has had sex with him and that he is lying. Ever since october I have told her to confront him about it but I am still waiting, I do not know what to believe, I am currently still with her and she has changed to a much nicer person now but if she has had sex with him I do not want to know her any loner. Do you think I was right in giving her a fourth chance? and I also want to know if she has had sex with him during there brief spell of being together? I'd really appreciate help and advice from experienced people, I am still young and this is tearing my life apart. Thank you.
betterdeal Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I think you have to judge her on her actions not her words, because she keeps breaking her word, so her word means nothing. She says they didn't have sex, but won't confront him about what he's saying. You know she's lied to you before (saying she would not cheat on you) so I'd assume she did cheat on you until she proves it otherwise. You're very young and there's a lot of cute women out there. You can get rid of this one who keeps on betraying you and lying, and have a look around for someone who won't hurt you like she has.
Fufu Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Completely agree with betterdeal. I felt that you had done more than enough for her. Time to focus on yourself.
smudge21 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 You shouldn't be going through this kind of sh*t when you're so young. No one deserves it at any age, but you shouldn't be putting this much effort into someone who, by your own admission, is openly cheating on you. I know two people who have been together for over 4 years and she's left him at least 4 times (and probably had short term accounters just as many times) yet he's always there, taking her back. We often used to put the blame solely on her, but in reality you have to look at him too. Everytime he lets her come back, it's like a green light to say "that's fine love, you go cheat, I'll always be here when you get bored". The term 'doormat' springs to mind. Now it's far too late for this guy to lay down the law to his girlfriend and the only option is to get out - sadly I don't he ever will. Don't be like that. Seriously you're only just starting out and there truly is so many more fish in the sea; fish that will respect and care for you as much as you do them. Move on (I know that's easier said then done, but that's what this place is for - to help you move on).
Dorian85 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Hello everyone, I am new to this site and I am only 16 years old and looking for some help. I have been with this girl for nearly 3 years now, we have been together since the age of 13, we are each other's first love and first for everything. We would really like to spend the rest of our lives with one another. We have lost our virginity to one another and everythinh, However October last year she cheated on me for the third time, I forgave her after the first and second time but not sure whether to forgive her this time. I am also not sure if they had sex or not. This boy was one of my best and most trusted friend that I've had even though he has got a reputation to be a player and a sexual addict. Apart from myself this boy was the only other boy my girlfriend talked too. I did not worry about them two talking as I trusted both even though she had cheated on me before she swore that she would never do it again. Just before she cheated on me we were going through a slightly rough patch as there was rumours going around I was having sex with another girl which were not true, she realised the rumours were fake after all the damage had been done to me. We also stopped having sex with one another during this period. One night she rang me and told me I'm with your friend in my house now but I still want to be friends with you, I did not understand her so I just cut the phone off, the next day she apologised to me and got back with me, well that's what I thought, couple of days later I found out she was still with him, at this stage I was literally broken down, I also found out they have been continuously seeing each other at her house for a week, few days later they eventually broke up and she came back to me, I accepted her back and gave her another chance. After two weeks of there braking up at school this boy started saying to everyone that he has had sex with my girlfriend on numerous occasions at her house, the way he says it is really believable and he is fluent when saying what he has done, he also has a reputation to have sex with many girls as I've said earlier. My girlfriends denies that she has had sex with him and that he is lying. Ever since october I have told her to confront him about it but I am still waiting, I do not know what to believe, I am currently still with her and she has changed to a much nicer person now but if she has had sex with him I do not want to know her any loner. Do you think I was right in giving her a fourth chance? and I also want to know if she has had sex with him during there brief spell of being together? I'd really appreciate help and advice from experienced people, I am still young and this is tearing my life apart. Thank you. I gotta agree with everyone else's assessment of your situation. Its time to move on from her. You two are both VERY young, you have your whole lives ahead of you to enjoy. Don't waste your youth being tied down to a girl who has hurt you in the past, and will be sure to do it again. ONE time is a mistake, but 4 times? C'mon man. Theres NO excuse for that. I'd put my foot down if I were you and seriously end it with this girl. I know it may be hard because this was the girl you lost your virginity to, but you have to look at it from more then a sexual point of view....shes cheated on you numerous times, lies about it, gets back with you, then does it again....that to me says something about her character and her maturity. You don't want to be with a girl like this, especially at your age. You are obviously both still maturing when it comes to relationships, so do the MATURE thing and end it with this girl once and for all.
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