Author nana841121 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 I teach at a university and I'll say that this sort of thing happens quite a bit. As the two people you speak of are generally close in age - I consider 18 and mid-20's to be pretty much on the same page in a lot of ways - it is understandable. I don't think he would get fired even were his department head to find out about it, although he might get reprimanded. Is the student currently in his class or is she a former student? With a former student, there is no way he would get in trouble. The issue is whether or not her grade was affected by their sexual relationship - there might be some sort of review or something. I know all sorts of people that have slept with students - even one Prof who married one of his grad students. Grad students and Profs occasionally get involved, although it is frowned upon, but they do often drink together socially. Personally, I think being involved with an 18-yr-old is akin to child molestation, as most of my 18-yr-old students are so naive and young. All these people are technically adults though, so such things happen. I think maybe you should examine your own motives. I think I may have read about this story on another thread - this man is your ex-boyfriend? I wonder is it really going to make you feel better to ruin his career? People work really hard to get PhD's - we're talking 9-11 years of training from start to finish. I'm working on my dissertation right now and I've been in college for 9 years. It is a dog-eat-dog competitive publish or perish environment, and this guy has probably worked his butt off just to get a lecturer position. I'm sure he is hoping for a tenure-track job eventually and your move in reporting him would threaten that and make the last 9-11 years of his life a waste. Do you really want to do that for revenge? Part of why the disciplinary procedures for such behavior are so lax is because PhD's have invested so much time into their careers. These people are both adults. Ethical or unethical, in my opinion, it's none of your business. I have no intention to report him in the first place. cause i don't want to involve into his life at all. i just feel disgusting about him. He gave me an impression of a honest and decent man. then he ruined it. He doesn't feel wrong about his behavior at all. i didn't confront him about my judgement. And after one month of being together with his little GF, he phoned me and sent mixed message. all i felt is repugnant
Author nana841121 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 I'm what's called a "Graduate Teaching Associate" - I teach freshman courses in exchange for a stipend and free tuition. I'm an ABD (all but dissertation) PhD student. Adjunct is the worst possible position you can get. If this guy's a lecturer, he's probably got a contract w/ health benefits and decent wages (not good, but decent) He is a full-time lecturer
ChessPieceFace Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I knew one girl who slept with her professor. Not sure whether he was her prof at the time or not. It doesn't really matter. She did it cause she had daddy issues, she was really pretty messed up in general. If all you care about is sex, well get your advice from someone else cause I don't care to help you with that. If you expect a stable relationship, I don't see it as even close to likely. If you think sex is worth risking your career, I think that's quite foolish but that's your decision not mine.
musemaj11 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You should be expelled. Lol, you stole the pleasure of saying that from me. How dare you?
makelemonade1974 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I have no intention to report him in the first place. cause i don't want to involve into his life at all. i just feel disgusting about him. He gave me an impression of a honest and decent man. then he ruined it. He doesn't feel wrong about his behavior at all. i didn't confront him about my judgement. And after one month of being together with his little GF, he phoned me and sent mixed message. all i felt is repugnant Then be happy he is out of your life. And knowing your replacement is some "baby" should make you feel much better. He's probably miserable with her - freshman are obnoxious, walking around w/ their thumbs super-glued to their cell phones
Author nana841121 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 yes, can't believe he has such a low taste. And this is the man who "educated" me all the time during our relationship His choice of this girl really stunned me
Author nana841121 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Having a crush on professor is one thing acting on the crush is another thing agree?
Author nana841121 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 I didn't tell him how disgusting the whole thing is. Now it becomes an unsolved knot in my heart
buckwheat Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Hi Nana841121, I am a writer for College Magazine, and am currently working on an article about romantic relationships in the workplace or between professors and students. If you are either the professor or student involved in this situation, and you would like to share your story, please contact me as soon as possible (before June 12) by emailing me: [email protected] If you would like to keep your name anonymous, that can be arranged as well. Let me know if you're up for sharing your story! Thanks, Buckwheat www.collegemagazine.com
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Why should the girl be expelled? That's just like saying I should be expelled for trying to go out with the hot teacher. That's stupid. What??? In our society, we only punish the girls who get pregnant. Teenage girls are trying to get pregnant all the time, but we must stick to tradition and only punish those whose eggs actually get fertilized.
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