Is there a slight chance this plan would work?

April 26, 2011

LOL.

My plan for right now is the last day of class if I get to talk to her alone, I'm just going to tell her how nice teacher she was and that. I'll tell her I want to do something nice for her to show her my appreciation and ask if I can take her out to dinner over the summer, or something she wants to do. That way it doesn't sound like I'm trying to score an actual date, rather just trying to be friendly. Then I'll ask for her number.

It's always better to get the girls number. That way you have control.

If I can't get her alone, I'll just say goodbye and that and when I get home I'll email her with some final thoughts and talk to her about going out to eat.

Honestly if I play this right and not make it sound like a date is there a slim chance she might actually agree to do this?

Honestly, there is no chance that she will do anything with you. Zero chance. Not even .082342% chance. If I were you, I'd get rid of any plan that you may have, and learn to understand sarcasm and the definition of no.

I'll tell you my own little story:

There's this guy at work, who wont stop trying to talk to me, and who will stand there watching me for a few minutes each time he can. He's gotten a few people to talk to me about him, and to each of them, I've let them know that I wasn't interested at all. But...that doesn't make him stop trying. I used to be coworker friendly towards him, now I'm just a plain b*tch. Wont even look at him any more since just saying "no" didn't give him the "hint" that I wasn't interested...which I told him no. I even rolled my eyes a bit when he kept trying.

Any guy that pursues me after I told them no and give them the cold shoulder, loses all of my respect. This guy has done this..and though he is cute, he is not my type at all, especially since he doesn't understand that hey..I'm not interested! If he asked me out again...I'd probably flip out on him and make him understand the definition of no.

Now tell me this...do you really want her to flip out on you or anything along those lines? It will hurt your feelings. It will make you mad at her. It will put you further in your shell. It will possibly scar you. I don't think it's worth it..but hey, that's just me and all the rest of the people on here who have told you pretty much the same thing. Your dignity isn't worth the chance of a date..trust me. It's a hard thing to get back once it's gone.

April 26, 2011

If it's a date, why are you trying to trick her into thinking it's not?

April 27, 2011

If it's a date, why are you trying to trick her into thinking it's not?

I'm not trying to trick her. I figure if she sees that I'm a nice guy, then she might give me a chance then.

April 27, 2011

Honestly, there is no chance that she will do anything with you. Zero chance. Not even .082342% chance. If I were you, I'd get rid of any plan that you may have, and learn to understand sarcasm and the definition of no.

I'll tell you my own little story:

There's this guy at work, who wont stop trying to talk to me, and who will stand there watching me for a few minutes each time he can. He's gotten a few people to talk to me about him, and to each of them, I've let them know that I wasn't interested at all. But...that doesn't make him stop trying. I used to be coworker friendly towards him, now I'm just a plain b*tch. Wont even look at him any more since just saying "no" didn't give him the "hint" that I wasn't interested...which I told him no. I even rolled my eyes a bit when he kept trying.

Any guy that pursues me after I told them no and give them the cold shoulder, loses all of my respect. This guy has done this..and though he is cute, he is not my type at all, especially since he doesn't understand that hey..I'm not interested! If he asked me out again...I'd probably flip out on him and make him understand the definition of no.

Now tell me this...do you really want her to flip out on you or anything along those lines? It will hurt your feelings. It will make you mad at her. It will put you further in your shell. It will possibly scar you. I don't think it's worth it..but hey, that's just me and all the rest of the people on here who have told you pretty much the same thing. Your dignity isn't worth the chance of a date..trust me. It's a hard thing to get back once it's gone.

She already has hurt my feelings though.

April 27, 2011

There is one really hot girl in my class and I have her number because our first assignment she happend to be my partner.

However one small problem. SHE is engaged!

So why aren't you interested in any of the OTHER girls?

April 27, 2011

I'm not trying to trick her. I figure if she sees that I'm a nice guy, then she might give me a chance then.

Maybe, except you're not a nice guy (manipulating others, whether "intentional" or not, is wrong). And also she won't because believe it or not she already has a pretty good idea of what you're like.

April 27, 2011

There is a difference between a nice guy and a "Nice Guy."

April 27, 2011

Honestly, there is no chance that she will do anything with you. Zero chance. Not even .082342% chance. If I were you, I'd get rid of any plan that you may have, and learn to understand sarcasm and the definition of no.

I'll tell you my own little story:

There's this guy at work, who wont stop trying to talk to me, and who will stand there watching me for a few minutes each time he can. He's gotten a few people to talk to me about him, and to each of them, I've let them know that I wasn't interested at all. But...that doesn't make him stop trying. I used to be coworker friendly towards him, now I'm just a plain b*tch. Wont even look at him any more since just saying "no" didn't give him the "hint" that I wasn't interested...which I told him no. I even rolled my eyes a bit when he kept trying.

Any guy that pursues me after I told them no and give them the cold shoulder, loses all of my respect. This guy has done this..and though he is cute, he is not my type at all, especially since he doesn't understand that hey..I'm not interested! If he asked me out again...I'd probably flip out on him and make him understand the definition of no.

Now tell me this...do you really want her to flip out on you or anything along those lines? It will hurt your feelings. It will make you mad at her. It will put you further in your shell. It will possibly scar you. I don't think it's worth it..but hey, that's just me and all the rest of the people on here who have told you pretty much the same thing. Your dignity isn't worth the chance of a date..trust me. It's a hard thing to get back once it's gone.

He's kind of a great example of how not to go about dating from men's perspective. Put your egg's in many baskets, see if one is good or not. Don't throw one egg in one basket - you are wayyyyyyyy too needy if you do that. Constantly getting other people to talk to you for them? Comes off weird. If you see a girl and like her, talk to her, if she's nice, ask her out. Simple stuff. Don't do elaborate things. Don't overthink things, that's for sure.

I guess the biggest thing is move on. Don't dwell on past failures. He made a move, she said no, make a move on someone else. The problem isn't the way you asked her, what you did, how you said it, etc. etc. The problem is she isn't interested. It's that simple. There are no special emails, quick fixes, perfect ways to say something. It requires self improvement to get better women. better looks, better jobs, being more social, being better with people, etc. So I guess the focus should really be on yourself. How can I be nicer to others, how can I support other people, how can I build positive relationships around me.

April 27, 2011

She already has hurt my feelings though.

Oh, so that's plenty of reason to not stop trying? Your feelings are already hurt, so what more can she do to you??

The only reason that you should ask someone out, is if you think that there's a chance that they'll say yes and are interested in you as well. She's already said no and has expressed her disinterest in you. Your reasoning for not giving up is just plain wrong, and will hurt you even more.

April 27, 2011

How is saying I'm going to miss her and her class flirting?

What do you mean by predatorial? WTF?

Because each cute little comment is there for you to try to get her to like you as more then a student = flirting. And it is obvious. Painfully, painfully obvious. She has made it very clear that she doesn't like you not even that she didn't like you in that that way but now at all.

The more you keep hunting after clearly unwilling prey, you become a predator in her eyes.

Quite frankly you have a lot of threads with people echoing the sane sentiments. You may feel nicely toward her but your behaviour is 100% predatorial and quite frankly very risky.

Guys that exhibit your type of obsessional/predatorial behaviour often snap in very bad ways when the object of their affections does not go along with it. If you are not just trolling for kicks I believe that you are that type of guy. Your behaviour and pattern of not listening to sensical boundaries has this written all over it. Obsession rarely ends calmly or well.

April 27, 2011

Because each cute little comment is there for you to try to get her to like you as more then a student = flirting. And it is obvious. Painfully, painfully obvious. She has made it very clear that she doesn't like you not even that she didn't like you in that that way but now at all.

The more you keep hunting after clearly unwilling prey, you become a predator in her eyes.

Quite frankly you have a lot of threads with people echoing the sane sentiments. You may feel nicely toward her but your behaviour is 100% predatorial and quite frankly very risky.

Guys that exhibit your type of obsessional/predatorial behaviour often snap in very bad ways when the object of their affections does not go along with it. If you are not just trolling for kicks I believe that you are that type of guy. Your behaviour and pattern of not listening to sensical boundaries has this written all over it. Obsession rarely ends calmly or well.

If she thought I was flirty, wouldn't she have said something, or tell her boss?

April 27, 2011

Perhaps, perhaps not.

Nonetheless the trajectory and intent of your behaviour is not changed by her response.

You are a duck if you are a duck, no amount of someone else asking or not asking you to be a duck will change that.

If your case your behaviour is inappropriate, risky, unprofessional, rude and very obsessional and stalker-like. No amount of her reaction at this point changes that.

The proof lies in the context of your behaviour, not in her reaction to it.

Although you have made it abundantly clear you wish to be there for her, she has made it abundantly clear that you remain in her very presence against her wishes and desires.

You do not meet the criteria for dating her. That criteria would start with you not being her student and move along a spectrum to her even liking you. You fit neither and trying to ambush her into a date is something that any woman of her intellectual capacity could smell 3 miles away and will only serve to irritate her more and risk and future attendance at your post-secondary institution.

I am not being cute with you, nor is anyone who has advised you to back off on this thread.

You are not just out of line with this woman, she does not like you and you are setting yourself up to tremendously resent her when she does not return the time and energy you put into capturing her affections.

And that is when guys who behave like you do turn into something else entirely.

I am not saying that you are not a "nice guy" but your behaviour portrays something completely contrary to that and could be very harmful for all parties in the end.

One Goal, what are you parents like?

April 27, 2011

Perhaps, perhaps not.

Nonetheless the trajectory and intent of your behaviour is not changed by her response.

You are a duck if you are a duck, no amount of someone else asking or not asking you to be a duck will change that.

If your case your behaviour is inappropriate, risky, unprofessional, rude and very obsessional and stalker-like. No amount of her reaction at this point changes that.

The proof lies in the context of your behaviour, not in her reaction to it.

Although you have made it abundantly clear you wish to be there for her, she has made it abundantly clear that you remain in her very presence against her wishes and desires.

You do not meet the criteria for dating her. That criteria would start with you not being her student and move along a spectrum to her even liking you. You fit neither and trying to ambush her into a date is something that any woman of her intellectual capacity could smell 3 miles away and will only serve to irritate her more and risk and future attendance at your post-secondary institution.

I am not being cute with you, nor is anyone who has advised you to back off on this thread.

You are not just out of line with this woman, she does not like you and you are setting yourself up to tremendously resent her when she does not return the time and energy you put into capturing her affections.

And that is when guys who behave like you do turn into something else entirely.

I am not saying that you are not a "nice guy" but your behaviour portrays something completely contrary to that and could be very harmful for all parties in the end.

One Goal, what are you parents like?

So you're saying asking to take her out to dinner, she will see it as a date? If she does snap at me what will she do? Like slap me and cuss at me?

WHy is it she is not that direct? other than the facebook thing, she tries to avoid saying NO to me. Why is she subtle otherwise instead of flat out saying no?

April 27, 2011

So you're saying asking to take her out to dinner, she will see it as a date? If she does snap at me what will she do? Like slap me and cuss at me?

WHy is it she is not that direct? other than the facebook thing, she tries to avoid saying NO to me. Why is she subtle otherwise instead of flat out saying no?

You want the truth, or something that's gonna make you feel good?

April 27, 2011

So you're saying asking to take her out to dinner, she will see it as a date? If she does snap at me what will she do? Like slap me and cuss at me?

WHy is it she is not that direct? other than the facebook thing, she tries to avoid saying NO to me. Why is she subtle otherwise instead of flat out saying no?

I have not the ability to read minds. I can read behaviour though.

I do not know how she will react other then I can accurately predict that it will be negative ( she has negated your advances many times so it fits the obvious pattern here). It seems that she will not be violent in any way.

That is also not the point. The point is that you have clearly made her very unconfortable with your constant advances and you are behaving in a predatorial, inappropriate way etcetcetc.

The second point is:STOP because you have no right to treat someone with that amount if disrespect, especially at their workplace and in a capacity where she is under scrutiny on how she deals with you.

She may not be as to the point as I am, but I can assure you that I would not be so diplomatic by this point.

Your behaviour is not appropriate to say the least, especially to achieve what you are trying to achieve and especially in the context it is in.

It has been explained many times.

It doesn't matter how she is responding. Your behaviour is the problem, nit how she is responding to it.

April 27, 2011

I have not the ability to read minds. I can read behaviour though.

I do not know how she will react other then I can accurately predict that it will be negative ( she has negated your advances many times so it fits the obvious pattern here). It seems that she will not be violent in any way.

That is also not the point. The point is that you have clearly made her very unconfortable with your constant advances and you are behaving in a predatorial, inappropriate way etcetcetc.

The second point is:STOP because you have no right to treat someone with that amount if disrespect, especially at their workplace and in a capacity where she is under scrutiny on how she deals with you.

She may not be as to the point as I am, but I can assure you that I would not be so diplomatic by this point.

Your behaviour is not appropriate to say the least, especially to achieve what you are trying to achieve and especially in the context it is in.

It has been explained many times.

It doesn't matter how she is responding. Your behaviour is the problem, nit how she is responding to it.

Do you think she was upset that I went to her boss about it a couple weeks ago? From the vibe I got, she never told her boss about me.

Anyways so you're saying she's affraid of me, and thinks I'm crazy??

Regardless the last day of class, do you think she would be nicer to me? I'm not lying. I really want to take her out to lunch or something to show my appreciation. I don't want her to take it the wrong way.

Why can't she at least once go along with it? You think she could have some mercy on me the last day of class and maybe just agree to it at least? Like I said she's single, and I really do like her and she seems like she could be a nice person outside of school.

April 27, 2011

WHy is it she is not that direct? other than the facebook thing, she tries to avoid saying NO to me. Why is she subtle otherwise instead of flat out saying no?

We live in a culture where we avoid giving others direct rejection.

Imagine this scenario: you're invited to a party where you don't want to go. Are you going to tell the host: "No, that party sounds lame" or are you going to tell a white lie and say : "I have other plans that night"?

April 27, 2011

Do you think she was upset that I went to her boss about it a couple weeks ago? From the vibe I got, she never told her boss about me.

Anyways so you're saying she's affraid of me, and thinks I'm crazy??

You want to know what I think? I think she likely doesn't spend much time thinking about you. Unlike others here, I don't think she sees you as a threat. The attitude you report she has towards you shows she finds you annoying, but I don't waste much time thinking about annoying people. That's why she didn't talk to her boss about you. She just doesn't think about you all that much.

April 27, 2011

You want to know what I think? I think she likely doesn't spend much time thinking about you. Unlike others here, I don't think she sees you as a threat. The attitude you report she has towards you shows she finds you annoying, but I don't waste much time thinking about annoying people. That's why she didn't talk to her boss about you. She just doesn't think about you all that much.

So maybe she isn't really that upset I hit on her? So maybe the last day of class if I do present myself right, I'll have a shot at maybe her saying yes to me taking her to dinner?

April 27, 2011

So maybe she isn't really that upset I hit on her? So maybe the last day of class if I do present myself right, I'll have a shot at maybe her saying yes to me taking her to dinner?

No. No chance. You yourself report she finds you annoying.

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Is there a slight chance this plan would work?

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