Lucky555 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 My bf of five months..I was in his fb and saw he made a sexual remark "jokingly" to his ex gf!! Now I don't think he actually thought about it before writing But it's still a comment that I think has lack of respect for our relationship. Is it ok for me to make sexual remarks jokingly to another man? No! I am very torn over this because I was to confront him but I don't know a way to say it because I'm thinking of even breaking up with him over this. I totally think it is something he should have never done if he has a gf me! This Makes me question what he actually thinks about our relationship maybe he doesn't value it. I am just angry over it. I did happened to go to his page as I always do to send a message. This comment has really disturbed me becuaww obviously he needs a reality check or maybe he is wanting out of the relationship. How can I bring this up because right now all I want to do is say WTF? I have been nothing but faithful And great to this guy. I just think he needs to know that it's not ok and i wonder also what he was thinking at the time
xpaperxcutx Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I would appreciate it if you actually wrote the remark on here and let us judge because it just seems silly to break up with someone because of FB, you know?
Author Lucky555 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 Well for privacy of me I will say it was a comment replying to her post that suggested she was bending over for something..and then he says oh you know you like it.. was him making the sexual comment. I think this was implying a sexual joke of her like it like that. Now him being an ex bf u can get the picture. I just am disgusted because I don't ever make sexual remarks or imply anything sexual to anyone. This shows very little respect for our relationship and also the fact he said his ex is "crazy" and yet he initiates conversation. It's disturbing. Also he has not initiated any conversation with me in a few days! Something is wrong here and my gut instincts are kicking in.
pandagirl Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 What he was thinking? He probably wasn't thinking. I don't know. It's Facebook. He knew that you'd see that comment, so it doesn't seem like he's hiding anything from you. I don't think it necessarily means anything about your relationship. If anything, it means you have a boyfriend who isn't very thoughtful!
threebyfate Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Pretty crass to post that in the open for everyone to see. You have a right to be unhappy with his crudeness and disrespect for your relationship. Can't tell you if you should or shouldn't break up with him but either way, what's there to lose if you discuss the issue with him? Worst case scenario is that you end up dumping him during the conversation which isn't a different result than just dumping him outright.
Author Lucky555 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 Panda: good point it wa in the open for everyone to see. It was a dumb thing on his part. Threebyfate: thank you for your tips. I feel I have a right to be unhappy. I am very angry because I'm frustrated by it. I don't want to be controing but this is just plain disrespectful! I know he was not thinking about it he just thought to say it to be funny however it does perplex me becAuse how does he feel comfortable saying this? Obviously he has some sort of communication still going on with his ex. This concerns me as I do not know but this conversation implies they must be "comfy" enough to be this jokingly open. It was him but at the same time I'm worried. I don't want to be sideswiped or cheated on. I have thought of an idea to tactfully get to the bottom of it. Thanks posters because it's fb and I try not to get too carried away but It is a social network and he did post this with his free will. He has not Even talked to me in days but he initiates a conversation with an ex? It isn't right to Me.
pandagirl Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Thanks posters because it's fb and I try not to get too carried away but It is a social network and he did post this with his free will. He has not Even talked to me in days but he initiates a conversation with an ex? It isn't right to Me. Perhaps I am wrong, but this implies to be that he's not very serious about your relationship. But, as always, talk to him about it!
zengirl Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I wouldn't be cool with that, but I wouldn't break up with an otherwise great guy over it. I'd just tell him it wasn't cool. I don't know --- I know too many good guys, I guess, to compare others to, but I just don't think good guys do stuff like that. It would be a huge red flag for me, even though on it's own, it really isn't some huge thing.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 He hasn't talked to you in a few days and he made that comment. He's having second thoughts about the relationship. Do you want to save the relationship? Then do the same thing to him. Flirt with other men and leave comments on their facebooks and ignore HIM. If he has any feelings for you at all, he'll snap out of it and realize how stupid he's being. If he doesn't, then this will push him over the edge to dump you like he was planning too all along. Men don't openly treat you like that unless they are either wanting to break-up or think you are a doormat that they can do anything to and you'll keep coming back.
purplepanda Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Please speak properly cause you were missing several words in your post, it was confusing. O.o I don't think you should BREAK UP, but let him know that that is NOT okay, and talk it over.
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