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Posted

i've been dating this guy for more than a yer and a half now. We started off great until I found out he cheated on me. I was hurt but I gave him another chance. At least I can tell myself I tried right? then a few months after I caught him and my bestfriend half naked in bed together about to hook up. Of course I broke up with him after that. Didnt talk to him for a month until we had a talk to just start over. I was hesitant at first bc I do not want another game of cheating. Despit the fact that he's still hanging out with the people he hooked up with and not realizing that it made me very uncomfortable and uneasy and being the kind and forgiving person that I am, I took him back believing every words he said. But during that time I was cautious. Ready to just walk away for real if something *****ty happens again. I was ready.

 

That's what I thought. Until he broke up with me three times and got back with me twice in the past 2 weeks. Last night, he texted me, "I've been listening to Adele's Turning Tables. and it is our song. I think it's time to say goodbye. I can't give you what you think u give me. Maybe when we decide to move somewhere we can start over. We can't date here".

 

I am partly not surprised that he broke up with me again. It has always been like that ever since we started trying to start over. He's always hot and cold. One week he's gonna be all over me then the next week he'd ask for space and ignore me and hang out with the people he's hooked up with. Then contact me and tell me to cuddle and how much he misses me and that he wants to be with me, that he'll do anything to regain my trust (which I am more than willing to give as long as as he doesn't do anything *****ty). But last night, he just gave up on me again. I am not in shock BUT I am very hurt. It's sad to accept that I can't be with the person I want to be with because of whatvhe did in the past. I tried explaining to him that I never turned the tables on him. That it was just him, it's all his doing. I made it a point that you can't just be caught sleeping with my bestfriend, want me back but not do anything. Yea, he hasnt done anything at all. Every time that we got back together, I'm happy but it would go down the drain bc I would run into him at the bars making out with his ex a week after he begged me to get back with him or he would just be cold and ignore me then hang out with this person he has hooked up with instead of telling me what's going on.

 

And now he's blaming me that I have been turning the tables on him when he's the one who cheated, used me as back up guy and slept with my bestfriend twice. After all the **** he did, when he tried to get back with me, I only asked for one thing: just drop the people you have hooked up with when were broken up bc whenever u hang out with them, it brings back memories and makes me doubt u. And he agreed to it, only to take it back last night and tell me that we cannot date in this city( San Francisco).

 

I have realized after doing a lot of thinking last night that he basically chose to leave me and keep the "other" people with him. And it hurts bc I was up against people he barely know.

Posted

He's not worth it and he never will be.

 

I think the main problem aside from his commitment issues is the fact you don't stick to your word. For me at least, if someone cheats on me that's it its over. Once a cheater always a cheater.

 

If you set boundaries, some people may try to test them. If you take him back after cheating what message does that send? Doormat. There are no consequences for his actions so if he knows your always going to be there regardless why respect them? No matter how hard it is you have to stick to your word.

 

I think that's partially the reason why you're relationship started becoming so dramatic. Do not take him back. He isn't going to respect your wishes, he hasn't changed, he is still the same scumbag. Do not do anything for this guy. Don't change cities just to be heartbroken somewhere else. Somewhere there is a guy that wont cheat on you and love to be with you, but in order to find him you gotta get rid of this kid.

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Posted

I've had so many of my friends tell me that and I never learn my lesson. But this time, I will. Maybe it was a mistake to believe so much on a person's word rather than his or her actions. It just sucks how lame the "maybe we can date somewhere else. We can't date here" excuse.

Posted

Trust me you're better off. If people became a lot more honest and actually followed through with what they say, perhaps countries wouldn't be screwed over by a few politicians. Your ex has been a one trick pony, by the sound of him he hasn't evolved from being a bottom feeder, so treat him like one. The only way you'll know if you find someone better is if you let go and try. You can do it! :)

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