EllieNoise Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 So my ex and I broke up a little over 3 months ago. It's been a really rocky break up, because it's not what I wanted, but he said he needed time so I reluctantly agreed. A month after we broke up, he began dating a mutual friend. However, he continues to call me every night, and speak to me as if I'm his best friend (and has even said I'm his best friend and he looks forward to speaking with me every night). I still think it's odd that he has a girlfriend and insists on calling every night, but as the broken-hearted ex, I always pick up, because I'm happy we can just talk. Anywho, he came over to drop off all my things, and I basically told him that I needed to cut him out of my life for healing purposes. He begged for me not to do that, because eventually he wants to be back together (according to him), but when I asked why he wouldn't leave his girlfriend, he said he'd feel like he didn't give her a fair shot if he left her. I can kind of understand this, because I said the same thing to my last ex before getting back together, but being on the other side of the fence is entirely different =(. Back to the point, we ended up snuggling and saying we missed each other and all that jazz, and then we slept together and fell asleep. It was amazing. He left saying that things between us would get better, and that he would come back to me soon, but I don't know what to think. He basically said he'd feel too guilty to leave his girlfriend, but doesn't feel too guilty to sleep with me? When I asked him this, he said it was because I was the girl he wanted to be with forever, so because I was the only girl he's ever cheated with, he would never have to explain it. I don't know, I just don't know what to think anymore. He even said he'd start coming to see me at least twice a week so we could spend more time together because he missed me so much, but still hasn't said anything about leaving his girlfriend. Should I play this out and see where things take me? I honestly don't think he's trying to play me, because he's totally not that kind of guy (which seems like a completely moot point because of what happened between us) but I know he wouldn't do that to me. I can't explain how I know that, but I do. I just don't know if he'll seriously come back! What do you guys think? Do you think he still has feelings for me? Do you think he'll be back?
todd Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 You can't live your life on hopes and dreams. If he wants to be with you he would be with you, not this other girl. If he thought you were the one right now and you were meant to be together then that is what he would do. He wouldn't care about giving this other girl a chance because if he was really so interested in you and knows he will end up with you then he wouldn't bother or care about giving this other girl a chance if he knew it wasn't going to work out and he really wanted you. You told him you wanted to finally cut him out of your life and in a move to keep you around he stayed over and slept with you. He gave you a little more hope to keep you around a little longer as his fallback and safety net. Just my opinion but you cant wait for him no matter how much he sleeps with you are says you guys are meant to be together. You need to let him go and move on with you life. If its meant to be it will be.
jdub27 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 (edited) Sorry Ellie, but it really sounds like he's taking advantage of you. Reading what you wrote from a neutral perspective, it really sounds like he's keeping you around as a friend with benefits.. if you're okay with that, then continue on what you're doing. But if you have serious feelings for this guy, start No Contact immediately. Because he will end up hurting you.. I really don't think he has feelings for you, based on what you wrote. If he really wanted you to be his future, he would've never left you three months ago and he would dump this girl right now. Don't buy all this "I feel guilty for dumping her so quickly" nonsense.. it's all BS and you're eating it up.. Edited April 19, 2011 by jdub27
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