Easter Issues

[Jagdpanther]

Hi

 

I have been in a relationship for 2 yrs nows,

 

all been steady as she goes,

 

next week, the easter week, she wants me to travel to Liverpool, ( I live in south, by coast, as she does.)

 

her family lives in Liverpool, ( i have met them before, get on with them)

 

I have hinted to her that I have a lot on at mo, and money is very tight,

she came out with the classic, 'if you love me, you will go'

 

my three main reasons for not wanting to go are :

 

1. time (I have to work on my car, and get through MOT next week )

2. money (it will cost at least £200 for a 4 night trip. This money will be better spent going to get my car fixed)

3. distance ( is long way, I not fan of traveling these days)

 

money and time,next week being very precious for me , especially to sort my car out

 

now, I dont want to fall out with her over this, I just know she will react negatively toward my wish not to go

 

we do not live together,

 

we do on the whole get on well together, and are close

 

any advice on how the best way to get across to her, how i feel about next week,

 

she could go on her own and stay at her mums, no problem,

 

yep, I can put myself in her shoes, and see it from her point of view,

 

i did broach the subject last week with her when we in pub, we had a few drinks, she said, i had to put the issue of car to one side, and just go up to Liverpool.

 

is not like I dont have any balls, is just i know she will clam up and shut down,

 

 

i foresee her shutting down, (she not a firey person ),

 

all advice on how I should go about telling her, (which i intend to do this thursday, suppose to be traveling easter sunday, for 4 nights, 5 days)

 

I realise now I should have broached the subject weeks ago, is too late for that now

 

my biggest concern is it will get blown out of proportion and we will fall out big time,

 

all advice welcome, even if it is bite the bullet and go to Liverpool

 

thanks in advance

[Cee]

Stop overthinking the car and go with your girlfriend to Liverpool.

 

Cars break down and have all sorts of problems. And they are expensive to maintain. People work around car trouble. It's a part of life.

 

I think you've worked yourself up into thinking the trip will be inconvenient. Just go with the flow and put the car issue aside. Enjoy your girlfriend and your holiday. When you return, you will be more relaxed and have more energy to deal with the car.

 

Yeah, I know I said exactly what your girlfriend said. She's right on this one. And canceling on a trip two days before would be horribly upsetting to your girlfriend. Don't do it.

[creighton0123]

Putting money aside, do you still feel like going to Liverpool will be "biting the bullet"?

 

If so, you're being pretty selfish. If you literally cannot afford it and the two of you are both going, are you splitting the costs or is the 200 already after splitting the travel costs?

 

Do you absolutely need to get your car fixed, or is that a passive desire?

[westrock]

This comes down to priorities and what's more important to you: your car or her? It seems you want to choose the car over her. You have the right to choose that way, but then don't be surprised of the consequences that you already foresee will happen.

 

I agree with Cee and creighton0123. Why would going with her to Liverpool be "biting the bullet"? Sounds to me that you are using the car as an excuse to not go. Is there another reason why you don't want to go?