mr.dream merchant Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 If someone told you "Hey, you're my number one guy/girl!" What would you think? If you're me, you think that means there's a number two, possibly a three, a chance for four...etc.. It never fails to screw with my mind when I see someone with a person who actively seeks positive attention from the opposite sex. I always think to myself "Why put up with that when there's so many other people out there who are surely more confident about things?" What's the catch in being with someone who needs that external validation outside of their relationship? Is it honestly worth it? I just don't get it. I'm sure others see it all the time, and it's everywhere. Why do people flirt with the idea of other options when they're "happily" taken? Why do people encourage the attention of other possible suitors? Most say it's because a person wants to feel sexy, wanted, etc. But when I hear that answer, all that comes to mind is "insecure." And most know, out of insecurity, alot of bad can happen. Perhaps because I'm a male I hardly ever notice it with Men unless I'm in the gym and some guy is there wearing little to nothing for a top, and throwing his 80 lb. dumbbells that he just did pec flies with on the floor, all the while maintaining horrible horrible form. I understand it's all for show, but it seems so........extra to me. Then there's the women in the gym. The ones who come wearing little to nothing period, with their robust tits almost bursting out of their top, and their spandex zebra pattern coochie cutter shorts tighter than Lil' Wayne's jeans. Outside of the gym, I mostly see women doing the cries for attention though (this may be because I'm not actively looking at men.) I'm talking women with amazing bodies, and they know it. They go to the grocery store flaunting everything some unnamed divine being has blessed them with. They're in school looking like they're hitting the club. Or somewhere else, with their bosom out and their pants so tight you can tell she's only wearing a thong or a g-string. What's the point in this? Surely these people have to know that it's going to encourage attention and possible suitors. So what gives if you're already taken? And why does this person's partner put up with it? Number one isn't good enough to me. I need to be the only one. Speaking as a male of course, it seems young women are the masters at securing their options. Young lovely and curvy women who enjoy thoroughly controlling the attention of horny males, and love showing off their body are just another contributing factor to my lasting choice to be single. Can't say it's insecurity, it's just a lot of pride over here on my side of the bridge. If my girl is out trying to look extra just so she can feel good about herself through the attention of other males, I've gotta call her out on it. And even then, the amount of seriousness I take with her will just dwindle.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 Was hoping for some feedback after a long day, but 45 views and 0 replies later - I think I'm alone on this view lmao. It'd just make me feel like a sucker to be sitting at home going "Yup, my girl is out there right now with an outfit intentionally picked out to attract attention from other men to boost her ego." Smh @ the things people do.
CloudLiver Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Don't know if this will help, but I think this might have some value: Real Ladies are Rare by Pook There are two journeys. The first is that of the Don Juan. You thought you were the Cool Guy with your Nice Guy techniques or speed seduction strategies. When you heard, "Be a man!" you thought, "What! I have a penis, do I not? Doesn't that automatically make me a man?" No, it doesn't. And when that realization sunk in, you began to see the root of all the troubles you have had with not just women but with life as well. You began to see that most males were wimps who bent over for groupthink and refused to stand straight with their own conviction. Real men were rare. You resisted. You fought at the truth. But you realized that Nature did have her own laws and that your fate was to become a man (for you were not one). But there is a flip side to the Don Juan. It is a second journey that must be taken. While real men are rare, it should be no surprise that real women are just as rare. What! You protest this? Of course. Just as you fought the truth that real men were rare (and you weren't one of them), so do you fight the truth that real women are rare in the West (and you haven't been dating them). Just as your eyes began to pinpoint the real men from the wimps, now your eyes will begin to see the real women from the matriarchs (including both feminists and 'I'm a strong woman' "traditional" gal). Just because a female has a vagina doesn't mean she is a woman (just as a male having a penis doesn't mean he is a man). Just as real men despise wimpy males, real women despise the matriarchs. Know Pook's GOLDEN RULE to evaluating a woman: You can judge a woman by how she treats those who will do nothing for her. I know it is hard. It is lonely at the top. The only advantage to mediocrity is that they are in plenty of company. The talented, the original, the movers, are very few and alone. But since real ladies are just as rare, they are just as lonely and disgusted at the mediocrity that surrounds them. When you found out how rare real men were, the world changed before your eyes. But once you know how rare real women are, the world will again change before your eyes. "But I don't like this new world, Pook! Bring back the old one! A world with real ladies rare is scary to me! I prefer the world where a female was considered a woman just because she had a vagina." Oh, you terrified mediocrity! Are you a Don Juan because of your narcissism? Those who want a life based on true-ness, not killing time by playing ego-stroking games, will not see the first journey (the Path to Don Juan) as a pleasure filled narcissism soaked walk to I-Am-Demi-God-To-All. They will see the steps as liberating but as growing pains. It is PAINFUL at first to stop being a wimp, but it is much more liberating. The narcissist filled Juans see the Second Journey as hellish and even evil (as the wimps do the first journey). Why? It is because it cuts away one's narcissism. You prefer to live in an imaginary world where you are a demi-god rather than the real world where things may not be as you want. What does the Nice Guy... the Speed Seducer... the feminist... the "strong woman" matriarch... ...all have in common? They are narcissist. The humble man is invincible to these delusions. The fool tries to effect other people's egos (by tearing down or by creating envy) while the sage tries to keep his own ego in check.
CloudLiver Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Or even this... The Golden Rule to Weed Out Women by Pook There has been many rules made by men to weed out women. Some of these rules are ancient, others are religious, some are modern, some by the rogues, some by the knaves and nice guys, and others by the women themselves. The biggest 'rule' appears that traditional women are 'best' and feminists to skanks are the worst. Feminists and skanks understand men think this way too which is why they end up going to church single groups and begin saying, "Oh, I want to stay home and have lots of babies!" Some are saying that, "You make judgements on women because you take a few and turn them to all! Stop going to bars and discos and you will find more wholesome women." The traditional woman is not 'better' than the feminist, she is only more *invisible*. When traditional woman says, "I want to stay home to home-school the kids," the man gets a puffed chest and thinks, She wants to be a mother! How wonderful! But listen! The traditional woman speaks again. Shh, let us listen... "I want to bake cookies and pies all day!" And, again, the man puffs his chest and thinks, She wants to cook and be a family person! How wonderful! And, pray tell, she speaks again, "I am a virgin! I have never touched a guy!" The man, once more, puffs his chest and thinks, She is a virtuous and wonderful woman unlike the modern skanks. The man becomes enchanted with this and that is how she puts his hooks into him. After the marriage, he becomes a slave to his job while she retires at home. He becomes fat and bald due to work stress while she 'cooks' which only takes an hour. And her virginity becomes bitter to the taste as, being a woman on Earth, she will age. She will use church to help control the husband, to tell him that he should not feel entitled to sex, to his money, or anything else. As the man retires (if he can), his body will be in such an unfortunate state that he can't do anything he wants. She, of course, will want more vacations. "Let us go to Sweden," she says. "Or Jamaica!" In fact, at this point in his life, the man is so conditioned to working that even with failing organs and all, he feels guilty if he cannot work. He is a used up financial slave. Traditional women are no different than feminists and skanks (which is why traditional women sometimes turn into feminists and skanks). The only difference is that traditional women are smarter. They are smarted because they know how to manipulate more effectively. And so the question becomes, "But Pook! What rule should I use to obtain a wife? Listen! With traditional women gone, what do I have?" This is the Golden Rule for women. It is 100% accurate and is the touch stone to use on all women you encounter including your family and friends. What is it? It is this: You can tell everything about a woman by how she treats someone who can do nothing for her. There is a second part to this rule as well. Here it is: You can tell everything about a woman by how she responds to subjects of the soul. If a man is poor, but following his soul, to become a Great Artist or Master Musician or something like that, the correct women can see that passion. The incorrect women will see only materialism and shallowism (shallowism as in the guy's muscles and buffness). I have witnessed one traditional woman, so high on herself, no marry until she was 35 (because she was SO SUPERIOR to us poor males) and then it was to a cop, to openly plot moving the cop's body around (should he die) so she makes a fortune if it is considered he dies 'on duty'. Does this sound like the type of woman you want? Many men can't do anything for women. This is why many women attack them. If a guy is not dating, is simply doing his own thing, minding his own business, and women begin attacking him, does not that speak volumes about the women? Is that not an indication of how they percieve that man's only value to be his service to them? Real women, as in real people, value souls. They do not see life through a prism of materialism and envy. They do not see a man as a mad scientist sees his automaton. Real women want the few material goods only to live. Bad women want to live for material goods. In this, Shakespeare becomes useful. The constant theme in Shakespeare is between appearance and reality. Below the innocent flower lies a snake as Shakespeare said. The 'traditional' and 'wonderful' women like Katerine's sister in "Taming of the Shrew" everyone loved but she ended up being a horrible wife. But Katerine ended up become the best wife. Was it because her husband tamed her? No. They tamed each other. But Katernine's lashing out at women proved that she was a cross child starved for love. Women who whisper sweet honey and goodness are often foul inside. Sometimes, foul actions come from a foul mind. But you have to see through appearance and reality. Many of the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way), who speak poorly of women, are like Benedick of Much Ado About Nothing. They are been betrayed by women and are actually interested in love. But women, not knowing the difference between appearance and reality, will think the sex sport player is the best while the MGTOW is the worst where it is the exact opposite. Women's actions speak louder than words. And seeing through appearance and reality is the perception to master to accurately judge women.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 If someone told you "Hey, you're my number one guy/girl!" What would you think? If you're me, you think that means there's a number two, possibly a three, a chance for four...etc.. It never fails to screw with my mind when I see someone with a person who actively seeks positive attention from the opposite sex. I always think to myself "Why put up with that when there's so many other people out there who are surely more confident about things?" What's the catch in being with someone who needs that external validation outside of their relationship? Is it honestly worth it? I just don't get it. I'm sure others see it all the time, and it's everywhere. Why do people flirt with the idea of other options when they're "happily" taken? Why do people encourage the attention of other possible suitors? Most say it's because a person wants to feel sexy, wanted, etc. But when I hear that answer, all that comes to mind is "insecure." And most know, out of insecurity, alot of bad can happen. Perhaps because I'm a male I hardly ever notice it with Men unless I'm in the gym and some guy is there wearing little to nothing for a top, and throwing his 80 lb. dumbbells that he just did pec flies with on the floor, all the while maintaining horrible horrible form. I understand it's all for show, but it seems so........extra to me. Then there's the women in the gym. The ones who come wearing little to nothing period, with their robust tits almost bursting out of their top, and their spandex zebra pattern coochie cutter shorts tighter than Lil' Wayne's jeans. Outside of the gym, I mostly see women doing the cries for attention though (this may be because I'm not actively looking at men.) I'm talking women with amazing bodies, and they know it. They go to the grocery store flaunting everything some unnamed divine being has blessed them with. They're in school looking like they're hitting the club. Or somewhere else, with their bosom out and their pants so tight you can tell she's only wearing a thong or a g-string. What's the point in this? Surely these people have to know that it's going to encourage attention and possible suitors. So what gives if you're already taken? And why does this person's partner put up with it? Number one isn't good enough to me. I need to be the only one. Speaking as a male of course, it seems young women are the masters at securing their options. Young lovely and curvy women who enjoy thoroughly controlling the attention of horny males, and love showing off their body are just another contributing factor to my lasting choice to be single. Can't say it's insecurity, it's just a lot of pride over here on my side of the bridge. If my girl is out trying to look extra just so she can feel good about herself through the attention of other males, I've gotta call her out on it. And even then, the amount of seriousness I take with her will just dwindle. I 100% agree with your post and find it interesting that you have put so many sensical observations into one thread. I am surprised that no one but spam has responded so far.
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I've never used the phrase "you're my #1" or anything similar when interacting with a guy, whether on a friendly or romantic level. It just seems like an odd thing to say. As for your last few paragraphs that seem to be mostly concerned with how women dress and present themselves. I think a lot of women continue to crave the positive reinforcement and ego boost that comes from male attention even when in a relationship. It feeds their psyche. The same way a lot of men feel the need to view pornography or check out other women while in a committed relationship because it feeds their desire for sexual variety. Women are (generally) emotional creatures while men are (generally) physical creatures so both sexes continue to seek out a variety of sources to feed their needs even within a relationship. That said, I agree that it is disrespectful to dress downright skanky while in a relationship, but I would never dress that way anyways as I feel it cheapens and objectifies me. That's not to say I don't dress sexy; I certainly do, but I don't need to show 90% of my skin to be sexy. The outfits you described girls wearing aren't classy, regardless of her relationship status.
threebyfate Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 *ships a burqa to dream merchant's future girlfriend*
CloudLiver Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 DreamingofTigers, reading over your last few posts, you've got serious issues. Please work those out, before you say the information I post is spam.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 DreamingofTigers, reading over your last few posts, you've got serious issues. Please work those out, before you say the information I post is spam. So what if I have issues? I don't deny this. I actually thought it was spam and didn't read through everything. My apologies if I offended you. I would be curious to know what you think my "serious issues" are.
CloudLiver Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Oh. In that case, nevermind. Jesus... I should learn to be a bit more considerate.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Me too.:lmao: I just started reading it, saw the book title and noticed the website in the signature. I have seen the Pook reference before and thought, "oh spam." One of the other threads tonight saw almost two pages of spam so I wasn't phased by it.
welikeincrowds Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 *ships a burqa to dream merchant's future girlfriend* OP, you live in Miami right? I'm sure there's a "trashy" element there. Oh, but it's so harmless, I mean who cares what young girls wear? I think it's okay to be a little superficial. Who doesn't enjoy feeling sexy? Obviously you do; you go to the gym after all. But hopefully the difference is that you do that for yourself. Aside from the health and strength benefits, the gym gives you confidence and satisfaction, and allows you to validate yourself internally. Clothing can operate the same way. Women will choose clothes because they like the way their body looks in them. And how great is that? Whether or not others respond to the clothes too is a bit of a separate issue -- but, you know, who wouldn't enjoy that feeling? Well, I'll tell you who. Just yesterday I was walking home behind this very beautiful woman. She was wearing a very attractive leather jacket (like a warm, sandy brown), tall boots, and very tight leggings. I mean, her ass was shaking, and I noticed. I was walking behind her at a few paces, idly admiring her beauty (being a creep), when I became witness to sad moment for our species. Some guy walks past her, and as he's next to her, he mutters something to her under his breath: I couldn't make it out, exactly, but it definitely ended in the word "sexy". He then stared at her intimidatingly from behind as she turned up her fierce-model walk and banked into a coffee shop. And then he looked at me, that ****er. It was gross and I felt like I needed a shower afterwards, and it reminded me of just how hard it is to be a woman. Sometimes, it seems like they can't ****ing win. This girl was wearing an attractive and sophisticated outfit, not trashy in the slightest. She had taste and style and an attractive body, and yet she's punished for it. She's proud of her body and she wants to wear clothes that make her happy -- but that's not okay. And I'm sure she gets it all the time. I'm sure she'd get it if she wore sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. And even if she didn't have taste, even if she was wearing "trashy" clothing -- these women are not asking for anything, and they don't deserve anything. No one is asking to be treated like a sex object by perfect strangers. It's ugly to witness and I'm sure it's far worse to experience.
daphne Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 All this nonsense about love is nothing more than settling. People settle for the person they can get - at the moment - and so they pretend to be in love. In the rare occasion of the chemicals that together are known as 'love' are in effect, a couple of years into the relationship, the chemicals wear off and the person falls in love again. You depress the everliving sh** out of me. Honestly, I believe this is how most people (well, men) think. But you're bursting my bubble that there might be a few guys who do want something sincere and are capable of loyalty.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 You depress the everliving sh** out of me. Honestly, I believe this is how most people (well, men) think. But you're bursting my bubble that there might be a few guys who do want something sincere and are capable of loyalty. I second this. And the fact that he says "women want this too" depresses me even more.
Kelemort Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I couldn't imagine dressing in barely-there clothes anywhere - I have a hard enough time wearing a one-piece with a skirt to the beach. I grew up in a conservative home and somewhat conservative community, so I'm sure that played a role for me. I like to be comfortable, and shorts up my buttcrack and my boobs jiggling out of my top don't make me feel very comfortable. That aside - I think what you're describing is more common among college-aged women. Oh, I've seen it many times. Back when I was in college, I was busting a sweat on the elliptical when two women came in. They looked like they got lost on the way to the club. Tight, short shorts with "JUICY" emblazoned on the back and big, giant heels. Make-up so thick it made me wonder if the paint roller made it out alive. And of course, cleavage to top it all off. I'm assuming they came thinking there would be guys there that night - unfortunately, it was literally me and maybe one other girl there on the machines. So after a 2-minute half-hearted stroll on the treadmills, they each left the gym. And even in the 'happiest' relationships, your partner can be emotionally unavailable. While I've never been out in my skimpiest, I fully admit to signing up for dating web sites, posting my picture (a tasteful one - no cleavage or anything like that, for the record) and sitting back to see if people found me attractive. I'd hold conversations with people but never flirt. Once they started flirting or wanting to meet up, I skipped out. Why did I do it? It doesn't excuse it - but because my boyfriend wasn't meeting those emotional needs. We were barely sleeping together. He was more interested in looking at porn online, and he was always irritable to me. The men I talked to made me feel interesting again. They made me feel pretty, exciting, all of those things. After years in a relationship, it's nice to have the feeling of a rush again. Everything's new. Granted, you can't hop from 'new' experience to 'new' experience for the rest of your life if you ever hope to have a stable, long-term relationship or marriage. So why are women dressing like skankasauruses? Simple: maybe they're really just sexually narcissistic and they want all eyes on them. Or maybe they're insecure in their relationships, and they want to feel like somebody else out there could find them attractive. In effect, they're trying to reduce their vulnerability with the present beau - if someone else finds them attractive, it's suddenly not as big of a deal if the boyfriend isn't giving them all of the attention. Because they have a back-up.
J200 Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 bro, you got it all wrong. Women(and men) in their prime are going to shop for the best they can get, and you'll see that even in those married couples in their 40's. People are always seeing if someone better than their spouse is interested, and if there's someone better interested, you can be sure that the SO is going to be dumped. Why do you think many, many people use that 'I need space' line? Because they need space to get it on with another person and if the SO(soon to be ex if things turn out fine with the new guy or gal) is there, around, its impossible to make the jump to the big, better deal. All this nonsense about love is nothing more than settling. People settle for the person they can get - at the moment - and so they pretend to be in love. In the rare occasion of the chemicals that together are known as 'love' are in effect, a couple of years into the relationship, the chemicals wear off and the person falls in love again. What do you think is happening? that people are loyal? With the endless stream of male attention and female attention? from the facebook, from the hi5, from college, from even being at work, people are going to meet so many new guys and gals and eventually, they will feel attracted for whoever and there goes down the relationship or the marriage. Commitment? LOL Love? LOL Loyalty? LOL imaginary concepts created by the men who wanted to sleep with a particular woman, and reinforced by the women who wanted to catch a good provider. I am a female and I believe this post is the gospel. I have never believed in love and do not ever want to get married. I truly think the man is always looking for "Better". There is no such thing as real life. Even if you are married most men will want to upgrade or if its too complex cheat on the side. It's much better off for me, as a woman to be alone. I make lots of money, I can entertain myself by enjoying good food, surfing the internet, reading a book. I don't need a man. I would rather die alone than get played and be upgraded. It's not even worth it and to be honest I like being alone. Love is bull****. I have never believed in love or fairy tales; not even as a little girl.
eerie_reverie Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 OP, you live in Miami right? I'm sure there's a "trashy" element there. Oh, but it's so harmless, I mean who cares what young girls wear? I think it's okay to be a little superficial. Who doesn't enjoy feeling sexy? Obviously you do; you go to the gym after all. But hopefully the difference is that you do that for yourself. Aside from the health and strength benefits, the gym gives you confidence and satisfaction, and allows you to validate yourself internally. Clothing can operate the same way. Women will choose clothes because they like the way their body looks in them. And how great is that? Whether or not others respond to the clothes too is a bit of a separate issue -- but, you know, who wouldn't enjoy that feeling? Well, I'll tell you who. Just yesterday I was walking home behind this very beautiful woman. She was wearing a very attractive leather jacket (like a warm, sandy brown), tall boots, and very tight leggings. I mean, her ass was shaking, and I noticed. I was walking behind her at a few paces, idly admiring her beauty (being a creep), when I became witness to sad moment for our species. Some guy walks past her, and as he's next to her, he mutters something to her under his breath: I couldn't make it out, exactly, but it definitely ended in the word "sexy". He then stared at her intimidatingly from behind as she turned up her fierce-model walk and banked into a coffee shop. And then he looked at me, that ****er. It was gross and I felt like I needed a shower afterwards, and it reminded me of just how hard it is to be a woman. Sometimes, it seems like they can't ****ing win. This girl was wearing an attractive and sophisticated outfit, not trashy in the slightest. She had taste and style and an attractive body, and yet she's punished for it. She's proud of her body and she wants to wear clothes that make her happy -- but that's not okay. And I'm sure she gets it all the time. I'm sure she'd get it if she wore sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. And even if she didn't have taste, even if she was wearing "trashy" clothing -- these women are not asking for anything, and they don't deserve anything. No one is asking to be treated like a sex object by perfect strangers. It's ugly to witness and I'm sure it's far worse to experience. Great post!!! I think you make a great point, too, that gets lost even on people who are aware of it after reading something like the OP, which is that a good chunk of the time, what people do, and how they choose to dress, they do for themselves.
Kelemort Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I think that there are a lot of men who are constantly interested in upgrading. Trust me, I've got my own trust issues in that regard, and I'm trying to learn not to project them onto other people, including my boyfriend. But I know there are men who are just as romantic as some women are - they're looking for a person with similar interests and values so they can start their lives together. Not all men are pigheaded monsters who are only out for the next lay or the next best thing. Just like not all women are gold-digging whores. I think my last relationship brought me a lot of suspicions about men, because as soon as we broke up, this 'heartbroken' man was more interested in whether or not he could keep the gifts we gave each other (...of which the ones I gave him were far, far far more valuable than the ones he gave me). Less than week later, he was sniffing around the next girl. Less than 3 weeks after the break-up, he was dating her. We had been dating for a year and a half. I shudder to think of how long he had been attracted to her. It is difficult not to crucify present partners for the mistakes of those in the past. They are not all the same. I'd die if my current boyfriend were anything like my ex.
zengirl Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 If it's all about clothes, there are plenty of gals that don't dress trashy out there. In Miami, you're going to get a bit more skin, even from the non-trashy (don't live there now, but I've lived in Florida, and it's freaking hot, for one thing), but that doesn't mean they've got to toss their boobs around or anything. Really depends on what you find offensive. However, I've seen pictures of you that you've posted on here, and they were kind of male-attention-seeking, so not surprised you find these gals. Like attracts like in these matters. But there are plenty of cute girls out there in jeans, T-shirts, and sneakers or just cute, non-slutty clothes. More after college (college girls do tend to dress a bit sluttier than they will learn to later, but even so, I and plenty of girls I knew never even showed off our cleavage in college), sure, but they're out there, everywhere. It's silly to act like they don't exist. As far as the phrase, "You're my #1," I agree, it's a weird phrase. I've never really heard it used much.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Slightly off topic, I have lost about 45 lbs and have been getting "pants" when I walk in and out of places now . I hope that doesn't qualify me as a skank.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 Well it's clear that people would like to look and feel attractive but if a person has to be provocatively dressed to feel such ways...isn't that kind of a growing issue? I'm speaking on men and women who dress this way on a frequent/daily basis, men and women with a significant other. It just doesn't seem normal or healthy for a relationship to me. At least not a serious one. I understand being attractive and not having control over how people will react to how a member of the opposite sex looks. But is someone really that oblivious, especially an attractive someone, where they aren't expecting a heavily influenced spike (cause: their clothing choice) in the amount of positive physical validation and approaches they get? Then to continue to do so and bask in the attention? Lol, my mind gets so wrapped around this aspect of relationships because it's neither wrong nor right, it just is. I can't say I'd split with a woman because she dresses provocatively on a frequent basis but it would definitely raise some major questions: 1. Is she insecure? 2. Is my attention alone not enough? 3. Why does she require the attention of other men besides me, her significant other? 4. Is she trustworthy? 5. Boy the way she dresses, I swear it's advertisement. Things of that sort. One could fight fire with fire and be just as revealing and provocatively dressed, but I'm smart enough to know what kind of attention that would command, most of it unwanted attention. Plus, you don't have to be revealing just to look and feel sexy. There's plenty of clothing options where you can be just as comfortable and well, not as provocative and teasing to the opposite sex. ---Edit Line--- Slightly off topic, I have lost about 45 lbs and have been getting "pants" when I walk in and out of places now . I hope that doesn't qualify me as a skank. Congrats, keep up the hard work! Being a past heavy set guy, it always excites me to see people whipping into better shape.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 This is probably some of the most mature posting that I have ever seen you do. BTW, thanks, I got a long way to go. Maybe one day I will be skanky! I will be a cougar by then!
zengirl Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Now, I kind of wonder --- What do you consider provocatively dressed? Is it a hint of cleavage? Is it everything hanging out? I see such a wide variety of dress styles, and I know my line is pretty conservative (though I don't judge people by it; more I think, "I would never wear that"), so I always wonder what others think "provocative" even means.
ASG Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I tend to wear a lot of mini skirts. I quite short, so longer skirts make me look like I have no legs. I also happen to have big boobs and can't very well wear turtlenecks all the time, so there will be cleavage involved (cause I don't need a very low cut top to show cleavage... it's EVERYWHERE!) Most of the time I don't dress to *be* sexy. I just dress.. clothes! I'm not trying to make people look at me or validate me. And I get all sorts of abuse on the street, even if I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt. So I second zengirl's question: What do you consider provocatively dressed??
Author mr.dream merchant Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 The most suitable answer to that question would be, in my honest opinion, dressing with the intent to command attention from the opposite sex. Some people have features that can't be hidden unless great efforts are made ie. ASG's cleavage, my shoulders & traps, etc. That is completely understandable. What's dressing to feel sexy? Sexy is defined by what the opposite sex would think of how you look no? A heterosexual person wouldn't be so concerned of what their own gender would consider sexy or not yeah?
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