My boyfriend is unsupportive of my financial situation at a young age

[Lucky_One]

If I had a daughter, I would let her marry a poor man, but I would never let her marry a man without at least a college degree.

 

Really? You are going to "let" or "not let" an adult child marry?

 

If you have children, I foresee a future with a lot of turmoil, yelling, and possibly a couple of runaways in it. Good luck.

[Gala]

Early in my college career, I had a boyfriend who worked F/T, and didn't have a degree. He never acted the way that yours does, and it was still a challenging situation. He had some friends with degrees, and some without. But college wasn't a goal for him, and this meant he couldn't relate to what I was going through. And yes, this eventually meant the end of the relationship.

 

Honestly, your boyfriend just sounds like he wants to control and possess you, not support a better life for you.

 

My bf called me a bitch exactly once. I made abundantly clear that this was unacceptable, and it never happened again.

[donnamaybe]

So, OP, your boyfriend, in all his infinite wisdom, sees fit to give YOU advice, yet he lives with his mommy and daddy and STILL has nothing in a savings account? Um, okay.

 

You sound MUCH more mature than he does, even with the age difference. Keep doing what you're doing and get your degree. If he continues to act like a complete jerk, you may need to reevaluate whether or not you want a R with this guy.

[lemonlegs]

Have you told him that when he gives you advice, you feel like he's bashing your decisions? If so, how did he respond?

 

Agreed. You are stressed right now. It will end soon. Did you tell him what you wrote just here? It sounds perfect to me. You take responsibility for your own emotions. Instead of assuming that he should guess you're stressed out though, I would talk about the issue as though you are suggesting a solution. "I know I've been stressed out lately. I wish you could understand why I'm stressed out, and support me through the next few weeks. In the future, I'll try to give you a heads up when I'm feeling stressed out. If I get grumpy though, I would prefer that you say something like "Listen, I know you're really stressed but honestly, you've been kinda grumpy lately and it's bumming me out" than make me feel like I'm a huge complainer.

 

Yes, I have told him that and again, he says he's just trying to help me. Most of this was discussed and while he says he understands, I still think he thinks that he's right, regardless of how profoundly I explain my side of the story. Then he'll just repond with a mere, "Okay."

 

 

Thanks everyone for your opinions, I really appreciated it.

 

So, OP, your boyfriend, in all his infinite wisdom, sees fit to give YOU advice, yet he lives with his mommy and daddy and STILL has nothing in a savings account? Um, okay.

 

You sound MUCH more mature than he does, even with the age difference. Keep doing what you're doing and get your degree. If he continues to act like a complete jerk, you may need to reevaluate whether or not you want a R with this guy.

 

Thank you, I do think I am more mature than him.... definitely in some respects.

 

People fail to see their own shortcomings. I'm younger than him, so he naturally thinks that I could use some "life lessons" or something.

 

He constantly tells me "I hope you don't mind, but I was talking to my mom about this and she said this and she said that", of course reinforcing what he tells me. Can't he just accept that me and him come from two different families, probably with different values and ideas regarding things? His family is like the damn brady bunch, and frankly, that's just not what my family is like. They support me and if they could afford to pay for my school, they sure as hell would. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen, so instead of me not going to school at all, I would rather take loans out. And no, I'm not risking my school work to work a crapload to try and make a bunch of money. And no, after I pretty much felt like crap the last couple of months of school, I'm going to de-stress and take a breather for a bit this summer.

 

He told me last night that the only experience he's ever had with someone he knows going to University was his sister and she "worked her ass off in the summer." First of all, I know for a fact that she had 4/5 years of school PAID FOR BY HER GRANDPARENTS. She also has an extremely different social life than I do and overall we're just extremely different people. So I hate when he compares anything about me and my situation to his entirely different family situation.

 

We technically made up, but this is hanging over me for some reason. He has no reason to be concerned with how much in student loans I have to pay back because we're not engaged, married and in any way affiliated in regards to our financial status. Oh, and I'm ONLY 19. I'm going to school to get a good job, in order to pay back this money.

 

And Eddie, I very much want a man that I can vent to about things in my life. Seeing as he's the only person I see very much of, it's only natural that he's going to be there when I'm in a not so good mood. As far as I'm concerned, I should not have to walk on eggshells around my partner out of fear that I may be complaining about something that he doesn't 'care to hear.' And again, if he has a problem with it, he can tell me in a caring, calm way as opposed to snapping out of the blue one day.

Edited April 19, 2011 by lemonlegs

[Lucky_One]

My bf called me a bitch exactly once. I made abundantly clear that this was unacceptable, and it never happened again.

 

Tell him, in clear and concise terms, that he can call his next GF a bitch if he calls you that again.

 

Name-calling is not acceptable in a relationship, and is, in fact, a form of emotional abuse.

 

As for the other - I wonder if he isn't actually more than a bit jealous and worried that 1) you are already better educated than him 2) you are more ambitious than him 3) you are more motivated than him to succeed 4) you are more independent than him and 5) you are potentially going to earn more money than him.

 

People sometimes try to control others simply because of their need to control and their need to be the One In Charge. You've got him beat, so he belittles you and instructs you, in order to make himself look like the better person.

[donnamaybe]

He constantly tells me "I hope you don't mind, but I was talking to my mom about this and she said this and she said that", of course reinforcing what he tells me.

Oh, wow. This sounds JUST like my ex who had a COMPLETELY enabling mother. He fawned on her, and vice versa. Her little boys could do absolutely NOTHING wrong as far as she was concerned. Here's how bad it was.

 

My ex used to smoke copious amounts of weed; to the point that it hurt us financially. He would go through $40 in three days! And then he would be an anus when he ran out. We were arguing about that once, and his mom called mid-argument. I answered, and she could hear the edge in my voice and asked what was wrong. Well, I told her (she knew he smoked) that we were arguing about how much money he spends on pot, and she said... (drum roll, please)..."Well, you buy groceries!"

 

Please tell me it's not this way with his mom. If it is, you will constantly be fighting an uphill battle which you will NEVER win.

[lemonlegs]

Oh, wow. This sounds JUST like my ex who had a COMPLETELY enabling mother. He fawned on her, and vice versa. Her little boys could do absolutely NOTHING wrong as far as she was concerned. Here's how bad it was.

 

My ex used to smoke copious amounts of weed; to the point that it hurt us financially. He would go through $40 in three days! And then he would be an anus when he ran out. We were arguing about that once, and his mom called mid-argument. I answered, and she could hear the edge in my voice and asked what was wrong. Well, I told her (she knew he smoked) that we were arguing about how much money he spends on pot, and she said... (drum roll, please)..."Well, you buy groceries!"

 

Please tell me it's not this way with his mom. If it is, you will constantly be fighting an uphill battle which you will NEVER win.

 

It's not so much that. His mom can be very sarcastic with him, which actually may make him feel insecure. I just feel like overall, they have different values regarding things. If he wants to call in sick and maybe not necessarily be sick, he has to come to my house cause mommy and daddy will get mad. And he has to leave notes if he goes anywhere. So, more of just a momma's boy. She's critical of his saving habits (or lack thereof) as well. But for example, she teases him being like, "You better not to that to ______ (me), remember she goes to university! There's lots of hotties there" and I think he's already insecure about the fact that I have male friends at school. So, sometimes I feel bad about the 'innocent teasing', maybe it doesn't bother him, but it'd bother me if my parents said things like that evven if they were just joking.

 

His parents like me, so it's not like they encourage him to do or say anything.

[donnamaybe]

It's not so much that. His mom can be very sarcastic with him, which actually may make him feel insecure. I just feel like overall, they have different values regarding things. If he wants to call in sick and maybe not necessarily be sick, he has to come to my house cause mommy and daddy will get mad. And he has to leave notes if he goes anywhere. So, more of just a momma's boy. She's critical of his saving habits (or lack thereof) as well. But for example, she teases him being like, "You better not to that to ______ (me), remember she goes to university! There's lots of hotties there" and I think he's already insecure about the fact that I have male friends at school. So, sometimes I feel bad about the 'innocent teasing', maybe it doesn't bother him, but it'd bother me if my parents said things like that evven if they were just joking.

 

His parents like me, so it's not like they encourage him to do or say anything.

Whew! When you said he ran to his mom and told her stuff like that, I had a momentary flashback. I was worried you might have a similar scenario going on.

[Nexus One]

What do Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison and Richard Branson have in common?

 

They don't have a college degree. A college degree is a poor berometer to judge ones intelligence, and character by.

 

Even though I have a university degree, I actually agree with this.

 

On a side note. I had the chance to meet Richard Branson once when I was a student, because he was visiting my area to buy a factory and I had received an invitation due to being a student, I actually used to work for the company that owns the factory, but that's besides the point. I missed the opportunity because I forgot about it on the day he visitied, d'oh!

 

I actually think he's quite an amusing character. He started out as a canary breeder, you know those little singing yellow birds. But his canary breeding business went bankrupt, so he was forced to do something else. The rest is history.

 

Bill Gates, despite not having finished university, has some good programming skills too, he actually worked on the first DOS versions himself. His company grew incredibly fast, so I think that might have something to do with the fact that he dropped out.

Edited April 19, 2011 by Nexus One

[Kamille]

I think it's pretty hilarious that I provide census data which clearly shows financial benefits to obtaining a university degree for average Americans, and yet some people focus on anecdotal data to reflect about the value (or lack thereof) of university degrees. I'm sure I wouldn't have to look very long to find three millionaires who hold university degrees.

[Nexus One]

I think it's pretty hilarious that I provide census data which clearly shows financial benefits to obtaining a university degree for average Americans, and yet some people focus on anecdotal data to reflect about the value (or lack thereof) of university degrees. I'm sure I wouldn't have to look very long to find three millionaires who hold university degrees.

 

That was not what I meant to say though. What I meant to say was that a university degree does not guarantee success and that dropping out does not guarantee failure. That being said I couldn't argue against actual census data if I wanted to, it would be plain silly if I did.

[zengirl]

Anyway, he again asked me on the way home and I said nothing was wrong. He proceeded to tell me that I've been a bitch lately

 

This would've been the end of this conversation for me, except for the inevitable break up. I'm not saying YOU should break up with him, but I am saying I definitely wouldn't abide anyone who was supposed to love me and be my partner calling me a bitch. YMMV.

 

He then went on to say that he hated how I bitched about my part-time serving job a lot. He told me that he hates how everytime after I work I complain about my job. Meanwhile, I've worked at this job the whole school year, and it's not THE job I hate, it's some of the people I work with. Yet, he tells me he finds it insulting because his mom "helped me get my job."

 

It's lame he takes it personally. I wouldn't want to always listen to someone complain, but I do think it's a duty of a SO to listen occasionally, without judgment, and allow for some venting. (A reasonable amount. If you find venting is part of your regular habit, I'd say that needs to change.)

 

Furthermore, he then says, "I don't know what the f*** you're doing because University students should be working full-time. You owe back a bunch of student loans, what do you think you're going to do about that!?!" At which point, I got out of his truck, told him that was none of his business and slammed the door.

 

I don't know anyone who worked FT and went to college as an undergrad. I worked more than most folks I knew (about 30 hours) and had a scholarship, so I graduated without loans, luckily. Students loans definitely suck. Good for you for telling him the truth --- none of his damn business. I find his position a bit odd. Most college students don't work full time, and he knows you are going to school and choosing to prioritize that. Either he accepts that or he doesn't. End of story.

 

In terms of how to handle that: I'd say either he shapes up fast and becomes a supportive partner (if you really love him and/or are feeling charitable enough to give him a shot to do so), or you're way better off without him.

 

That was not what I meant to say though. What I meant to say was that a university degree does not guarantee success and that dropping out does not guarantee failure. That being said I couldn't argue against actual census data if I wanted to, it would be plain silly if I did.

 

Nothing guarantees success or failure. Doesn't mean anyone should be discouraged from going to college when they have the ambition to do so. (Besides, there are many jobs that require a college degree.) Especially not discouraged by their partner.

[Nexus One]

Nothing guarantees success or failure. Doesn't mean anyone should be discouraged from going to college when they have the ambition to do so. (Besides, there are many jobs that require a college degree.) Especially not discouraged by their partner.

 

I didn't meant to say that going to college/university should be discouraged, I would never be in favor of that, but perhaps that's not what you meant to imply. I'd always be in favor for people to educate themselves as much as possible. However some people do just fine without a degree.

[Eddie Edirol]

And Eddie, I very much want a man that I can vent to about things in my life. Seeing as he's the only person I see very much of, it's only natural that he's going to be there when I'm in a not so good mood. As far as I'm concerned, I should not have to walk on eggshells around my partner out of fear that I may be complaining about something that he doesn't 'care to hear.' And again, if he has a problem with it, he can tell me in a caring, calm way as opposed to snapping out of the blue one day.

 

Well if you dont vent as often as it sounds, then you just need to talk to him about it. You dont have to walk on eggshells, you just have to talk to him about what you need and if he can give that to you. Like I said he snaps out of the blue because hes frustrated with the venting, or something. That just takes a lil compromise on both your parts so that both of you can vent to each other without getting frustrated.

[P&R]

Why dont companies hire people with no degrees then if its a poor barometer of intelligence and character?

 

Bill Gates does not indeed have a college degree. But he was accepted to HARVARD UNIVERSITY!

What degrees do show is that one has training, usually pertaining to a certain feild. Degrees also DO show that a person has some degree of discipline IMO.

[MarlyStar]

Currently, I'm finishing up my second year of university. Today he was driving me home from a gathering with our friends. He asked me if everything was okay because I was being a bit distant because he kept being rude to me and joking about it with MY male friends, and then he would grab me and say "I'm just kidding!"

 

You were at a party and he was rude to you and joking about being rude to you with others and then say, "Just kidding."? This is hostile and passive aggressive.

 

Are you okay with this? I'm surprised that you aren't writing asking about this sort of immature meanness.

 

Anyway, he again asked me on the way home and I said nothing was wrong.

 

But something was wrong. Why say nothing's wrong when that's not true? How can anything be resolved that way?

 

He proceeded to tell me that I've been a bitch lately...

 

Frankly, it sounds like he's teetering on the edge of being verbally abusive. Name calling, blaming, setting up at the party, trying to humiliate you in front of your friends. Why are you putting up with this?

 

He said that it might have to do with me being in school. Truthfully, yes, I haven't been happy in the past little bit because I'm struggling with school, I HATE my part time job, and I barely have a social life besides my boyfriend. Yet, he doesn't relate or understand any of this. He's never gone to University, he works a full-time job yet thinks he knows everything about getting/maintaing a job, and gets to hangout with his friends regularly as he works with them and gets to see them WHILE I'M STUDYING/WORKING PART-TIME.

 

You can't blame him for not understanding something he hasn't experienced.

 

Also, if you are unhappy, it's YOUR job to fix it. Find another parttime job, or resolve the issue at work so it doen't make you so unhappy. If you are struggling with your classes, take a lighter load or reconsider your major. Being unhappy does not give you license to dump on other people.

 

You sound a little jealous of his freedom to socialize and to have spending money. And you sound a little sorry for yourself. Poor you who has to study and work while he gets to play with his friends. But understand, your situation is something you chose. You are chosing to invest your time and money in your future. But it's not poor you. It's a choice you made, a free choice. Both choices have consequences. But both are made from free will.

 

When you are his age, you probably will have pretty much the same options he has. You have to put in your time.

 

Feeling sorry for yourself is contributing to your unhappines and frustration. If you want more of a social life, then put off going to school for a few years and socialize. Get a fulltime job, have spending money and socialize, and when you grow up a bit try school again.

 

He then went on to say that he hated how I bitched about my part-time serving job a lot. He told me that he hates how everytime after I work I complain about my job.

 

A lot of people have told you to knock off the complaining, and they are right. Nobody wants to hear whine, whine, whine. Are you fun to be with? Or are you a drag? This is an easy fix. Just stop doing it.

 

Meanwhile, I've worked at this job the whole school year, and it's not THE job I hate, it's some of the people I work with. Yet, he tells me he finds it insulting because his mom "helped me get my job."

 

Part of the reason he hates the complaining (aside from the fact it's hard to listen to a lot of complaining), is that he feels like you are criticizing his mom when you criticize the job. And he may feel like you are blaming him because his mom got you this awful job. You are making him defensive.

 

Furthermore, he then says, "I don't know what the f*** you're doing because University students should be working full-time. You owe back a bunch of student loans, what do you think you're going to do about that!?!"

 

He's telling you, it could be worse. And he's also wondering if you hate it so much that you are complaining, complaining, complaining, why don't you just stop and do something that makes you happy. If going to school makes you so miserable you can't enjoy life, why do it? If YOU can't keep your eye on the prize (graduation), then how can you expect him to? From his point of view, you are miserable every day of your life, you don't value te experience and all you are going to end up with is debt. And it's a legitimate question: why are you doing it if you are so unhappy? Not everyone is cut out for school.

 

At which point, I got out of his truck, told him that was none of his business and slammed the door.

 

When you took your complaints to him, you made it his business. When his mom got involved in your job, you made it her and his business.

 

I was extremely upset by this because my ex did the exact same thing. He put such a huge emphasis on money because he had a full-time job while I was a student. Both of my boyfriends dated me KNOWING I would be a poor student for a while.

 

You aren't listening to your boyfriend. He's not complaining that you are poor. He's complaining that you are complaining. He's not complaining that you aren't contributing, he's complaining that you are a drag.

 

My current boyfriend never had to pay for his education and his older sister who went to university had it all paid for my their grandparents. Unfortunately, I don't get that privilege. Also, my parents do not make as much as his parents do. I feel like he's being very snotty about the whole situation.

 

You sound a bit jealous that you have to put yourself through and he and his sister got a free ride. Your circumstances do not make you superior to him because you have to work, and he isn't inferior to you because his parents paid for his education. None of that is his fault, not that fact he got a free ride nor the fact you didn't. Don't make it into a moral contest.

 

The fact that you have to put yourself through does not entitle you to whine about it every step of the way. Even though you are paying your way through you are lucky to have the opportunity to go. Perhaps if you stop seeing yourself as a victim and start realizing how lucky you are that there are loans, and you are in a place where you have this opportunity you will be less unhappy and less likely to take your unhappiness out on other people.

 

He's not being snotty, he's just frustrated by this whole situation with your complaining and unhappiness.

 

Omitting any personal feelings about financial situations or how to pay off student loans because I don't care to hear about that, how should I react? He texted me saying he was sorry and keeps trying to phone me but I'm ignoring him. This is by far the biggest fight we've ever been in and I'm actually contemplating breaking up with him

 

I don't want a boyfriend who's unsupportive of me going to school/ my financial strains, etc? How to handle this?

 

I think you should handle this by responding to his apologies with apologies of your own. I think ignoring him is the wrong thing to do. You aren't innocent in this. Talk to him. Acknowledge the burden you are putting on him with your complaints. And then stop complaining. Figure out what you want to do. It's YOUR job to make your life work for you. The fact that he's unable to fix it or unable to tolerate your misery does not make him unsupportive.

 

He doesn't mind you going to school; he minds you going to school and whining about it. He minds the self pity and the martyrdom and victim game and the jealousy.

 

He can't make your job better and he can't fix your financial strains. You break up with him, you are still going to have both. So how is breaking up with him going to make your life better?

 

Try to change you attitude and see if THAT doesn't improve your life. You've taken on a lot at a very young age. Maybe more that you can really handle. It's not fair to make it his problem.

Edited April 19, 2011 by MarlyStar

[MarlyStar]

I don't know anyone who worked FT and went to college as an undergrad.

 

I did. I worked 40 hours a week as a police dispatcher and sort of a night receptionist at a hospital. I got to do some homework at work. I took a full load of classes and graduated on time.

 

I didn't have a lot of time for socializing, but socialized in class and on the job. I went to occasional parties. I had no money and lived in an efficiency with cockroaches the size of cows.

 

Those are good memories.

[MarlyStar]

What do Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison and Richard Branson have in common?

 

They don't have a college degree. A college degree is a poor berometer to judge ones intelligence, and character by.

 

They all started their own companies.

 

If you start your own company, you don't need a college degree.

 

I cannot tell you how much frustration I see in the working world from people who actually can do a job, ARE doing the job, and are doing it well, but can't get the pay and the acknowledgement because they don't have the degree.

 

Like it or not, that's the way the rules play out. There are ways around it; like starting your own company--but Microsoft gives heavy preference in hiring and promotions to people with degrees, which is funny since the top boss doesn't have one. But that's the way it is. That's the way Bill Gates wants it--he doesn't have a degree, but he wants his employees to have one.

 

Another way is to have a rare skill that overcomes your lack of degree--but let someone else come along with a similar skill (and there always is one), and he'll knock you out of the running because he has the skill set AND the degree.

[musemaj11]

What degrees do show is that one has training, usually pertaining to a certain feild. Degrees also DO show that a person has some degree of discipline IMO.

So apparently degrees are not such poor barometers after all, yes?

[fortyninethousand322]

I did. I worked 40 hours a week as a police dispatcher and sort of a night receptionist at a hospital. I got to do some homework at work. I took a full load of classes and graduated on time.

 

I didn't have a lot of time for socializing, but socialized in class and on the job. I went to occasional parties. I had no money and lived in an efficiency with cockroaches the size of cows.

 

Those are good memories.

 

I know people who do this too. Clearly you're better at it than they are. Both are now in their 6th year of college and are still many classes short of graduation, and both still live at home. It's tough to be in school full time and have a full time job. I know for a fact that I could never have done it.

[musemaj11]

In my first semester as an undergrad, I worked full time and became a full time student. Long story short, I failed three of my five classes. Yea Im very poor at multi tasking.

[lemonlegs]

Thank you for your insight MarlyStar. I appreciate another perspective.

 

I do agree that yes, me complaining might annoy him. I will try to limit how much I do that. I'm just not the type of person that can put on a happy face when I'm not.

 

And the worst part was when he asked me how I planned on paying my loans back? He already knows I'm not happy about that situation I'm in, so I don't know why he'd even bring it up. And most importantly, it doesn't concern him. As much as he says that he just wants to see me be in a better position, I think he's more worried about how it could affect him.

 

And no, I'm not jealous of him or his sister. He only did some sort of trades program that didn't even cost any money, and his sister had it paid for. Lucky for them, sure. But to act all high and mighty about it and question me about my financial intentions is a little uncalled for. He's never been in the position where he knew he needed an education but did not have the means to pay for it.

 

Moreover, my ex (who was emotionally fu cked and extremely insecure) started becoming overly concerned with my financial situation and questioned MY MOM about how I was paying for school... meanwhile he hadn't even graduated high school at 20 years old (didn't know this at the time) AND he was Native American and received free education if he wanted it. And ultimately I found out he cheated on me. So any familiarities I find between my ex and my current boyfriend is a red flag for me.

Edited April 20, 2011 by lemonlegs

[Kamille]

I grew up in a lower middle class family who highly valued education. My parents couldn't really afford to send my sister and me to university. We were, therefore the exact public for whom student loans were created. I have student loan debt, which I'm now easily able to pay. I don't even really see or think about the money that goes towards my student loans. I have it set up so the payments come up the same day as my pay is deposited in my account. The way I see it, in 8 years or so, when they're all paid off, I'm suddenly going to have a pay raise. I have a Ph.D, so I have a lot of student loans, but I also make a lot more than the average salary in my area. In my mind, the loans were a great investment.

 

I'm saying this in the hopes you'll rethink getting stressed about the loans. Yeah, it sucks to have student loans. Yes, do your best to keep them to a minimum, all while managing a balance. But, if your career pans out the way most average university degree-holding American's career pans out, you won't have any problems paying them off. It will likely be tough to pay off the loans when you first start out, but your salary is likely to increase to comfortable levels fairly rapidly.

[lemonlegs]

I grew up in a lower middle class family who highly valued education. My parents couldn't really afford to send my sister and me to university. We were, therefore the exact public for whom student loans were created. I have student loan debt, which I'm now easily able to pay. I don't even really see or think about the money that goes towards my student loans. I have it set up so the payments come up the same day as my pay is deposited in my account. The way I see it, in 8 years or so, when they're all paid off, I'm suddenly going to have a pay raise. I have a Ph.D, so I have a lot of student loans, but I also make a lot more than the average salary in my area. In my mind, the loans were a great investment.

 

I'm saying this in the hopes you'll rethink getting stressed about the loans. Yeah, it sucks to have student loans. Yes, do your best to keep them to a minimum, all while managing a balance. But, if your career pans out the way most average university degree-holding American's career pans out, you won't have any problems paying them off. It will likely be tough to pay off the loans when you first start out, but your salary is likely to increase to comfortable levels fairly rapidly.

 

Thanks Kamille. That's exactly how I look at it: my debt is for a good reason. I could see why my boyfriend may be worried if I was $10 000 in debt from shopping or other brainless purchases, but no. I'm going in debt so that I can easily pay it back. He fails to see that some people are in a far worse off situation than I'm in. For example, a girl I work with had a child while in University and because of that and the fact that she lives on her own, the government offers her about $17 000 dollars a year, all of which she probably spends. So, I think I'll be able to handle my $20 000 debt, especially if I'm making good money, which I intend to do.

 

But then again, my boyfriend likes to tell me that he'll probably end up making more money than me one day. Don't really understand why it's a competition.

[Nexus One]

Thanks Kamille. That's exactly how I look at it: my debt is for a good reason. I could see why my boyfriend may be worried if I was $10 000 in debt from shopping or other brainless purchases, but no. I'm going in debt so that I can easily pay it back. He fails to see that some people are in a far worse off situation than I'm in. For example, a girl I work with had a child while in University and because of that and the fact that she lives on her own, the government offers her about $17 000 dollars a year, all of which she probably spends. So, I think I'll be able to handle my $20 000 debt, especially if I'm making good money, which I intend to do.

 

But then again, my boyfriend likes to tell me that he'll probably end up making more money than me one day. Don't really understand why it's a competition.

 

20k in student loans is something you're going to be able to handle once you have your degree. I know someone with 70k study debt and someone else that has 130k, granted though they are in their last year. How much debt do you anticipate to have once you get your degree?

Edited April 20, 2011 by Nexus One