broke_n Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 After being cheated on, lied too, hit on, called every name in the book, brought down, held down, kicked while being down and you still stayed with this man for 6 years and had 2 beautiful children with him!! Why do women do this? I ask myself what was I thinking every day of my life! How could i love a man so much to be treated so horribly and really I have kids that see you treat me like this? I just don't understand I have so much pain and hate and anger towards this man, I just want to get over it already!!!!! I have moved on left his A$$ and found someone great he loves me and loves my children like they are his own. But i can't forget the past and it's driving me crazy (literally). I am scared of this man (the old one) every time i go outside I wonder if he's out there or around or watching me. My kids wake up in the middle of the night crying for me asking me if im okay...at two and four they shouldn't have to worry about me that's my job as their mother to protect them!! And really I let my daughter and my son see their father treat me so bad? I refuse to let my daughter grow up thinking that it is okay for someone to treat her that way and my son, he will NOT be anything like his father or his sperm donor i should say. I feel like an idiot!! my ex has 7 KIDS!! with 6 other females and doesn't pay attention to any of them! but he wants to call me all the time and threaten me and harass me to see these two. I have moved and changed my number and it has died down alot but I still get calls at work once in a while or messages left at my mom's house. I really could careless about this man or what happens to him, i mean in some weird way i want him to be happy and find help that he needs. I don't understand why i can't let him go. I am so scared that I will lose the love of my life (my new boyfriend) over this pain that i have. How do i let go and live my life with all the hate I have in my heart . I know they say u can't love someone til u love yourself and i feel that i do love myself , im just having a hard time giving myself to someone without the wall that i put up between us!! This man wants to marry me and adopt my kids, he tells me im beautiful everyday, he kisses me goodnight and goodmorning everyday, he's polite, caring, understanding and very sexy! How could i not be happy with what i have at home??? Advice?!?!? I need some!! I've tried the letter thing, I've tried actually talking to my ex but it's always the same thing, I love you and I want a second chance. It's hard to push him completely out of my life because of my kids but they don't need him in their live , and my son doesn't really seem to care i mean i know he's only two but never cries or asks for him and my 4 yr old daughter she calls him by his first name and want's to see em sometimes and will ask once in a while but never cries or throws a fit to see him.... So how do I deal with all of this? or how would you deal with this???
Professor X Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I think the best way to approach this is by a professional therapist. You got a lot of emotions bottled inside of you and you need to get them out of you slowly steadily. Can't have you blow up (nervous breakdown). For the time being, from my own personal experience, I can tell you that sports is the best way I know of to blow off some steam. It helps me relax a lot. So whenever you get angry from thinking of him, go out for a 10-15 minutes run or buy yourself a punching bag and start practicing (don't just hit it, turn into a pro-hobby like kick-boxing).
Author broke_n Posted April 18, 2011 Author Posted April 18, 2011 Thx but professional help isn't an option for me right now! I have a life two kids full job and a future husband i don't have a lot of time...I'm not gonna blow up I just want it to go away!!
Professor X Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I hope you know it won't just go away, you're not expecting for some magic pill to solve it are you? If you wanna move on than you need to get therapy or the very least find a way to vent off your emotions - a hobby is s great way and it will also keep you from thinking about your ex', you should try it! If you're to busy to help yourself, than no-one really can. So you better make time for it. Good luck.
DollyGirl12 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. You have been through something that is very mentally damaging. This is why so many women (and some men to) get trapped in these kind of relationships. They completely chip away at your self esteem and you become extremely attached (traumatically) to this person. I would definitely suggest counseling. I know sometimes time is difficult, especially since you have children, but I think it's of the utmost importance for you. There are programs out there that specialize and focus only on women that have been through abusive relationships. In my area there is a Susan B. Anthony center. Many of these type of programs, which include group therapy (as you are far from alone) are also free of charge. Good luck!!!
Mimolicious Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Thx but professional help isn't an option for me right now! I have a life two kids full job and a future husband i don't have a lot of time...I'm not gonna blow up I just want it to go away!! Nobody is going to have anything if you are not well. Kiddies will have no mommy and BF will have no GF. SEEK HELP! It is the most mature and responsible caring act you can do for yourself and for your children.
g450 Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 I feel like an idiot!! my ex has 7 KIDS!! with 6 other females and doesn't pay attention to any of them! Not trying to judge you but why on earth was this not a red flag for you when you were dating him? Or were you his first wife? Ironically I know a woman just like this. She let herself get knocked up by by a guy like this and get this...his first victime is her own sister. I will never understand why some women do this to themselves and their kids.
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