Gotti25 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I posted here while back!! You can take this however!! Ok so I am married for 2 years now together 7!! Im in my 20s H is 30!! Long story short I cheated on my H 3 times with this single guy!! I let H know the truth went into every single detail that happend and he forgiven me & said we where going to work things out!! Well things haven't been soo good even before I cheated there was always a distance!! Now things are becomming worst they where like this even before!! He is out getting trashed in the bar every single night with his co workers friends comming home in the morning intoxicated like hell. Wanting sex intoxicated being violent if I dont give in but usually passes out as well!! Anyway the problem is when I want to go out and get trashed with my friends he gets furious and starts treatening me!! Well couple days ago I asked him if he wanted to go out with me and a friend he says No he will go to one of his local bars where he practically lives there. He asked me if I wanted to come along I said no cause I dont like the place at all!! I was pissed off immediatly cause that means that I can't goo out with my friend and spend another evening at home!! So eventually I left with a friend of mine after he left without him knowing!! So the night went well I guess when he got home he was furious to see me not at home he called I didnt answer but then he passed out drunk!! So as I was walking out of the club I meet this random stranger very cute just out of the blu and decide to go back to the club dancing however nothing happend!! He wanted me to go with him to get something to eat. I said noo and went home and this guy gave me his number I didnt even ask and said call me if theres anything that you need which later I lost!! As I arrived home my H was in rage extremely upset that I have gone out without him!! He asked me to go stay at the hotel across the street from our apartment. I ignored and stayed anyway. So as he went to work the day passed and he acted like nothing happend and just told me basically you can't be going out without me ever again!! Seriously so I was like whatever. I don't know how long his gonna keep doing this? I suggested divorce to him he declinesss hates to hear me say that. I dont know how much longer I can take it!! He also tells me that he can't live without me but the controlling is becomming to much!!
WorldIsYours Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I posted here while back!! You can take this however!! Ok so I am married for 2 years now together 7!! Im in my 20s H is 30!! Long story short I cheated on my H 3 times with this single guy!! I let H know the truth went into every single detail that happend and he forgiven me & said we where going to work things out!! Well things haven't been soo good even before I cheated there was always a distance!! Now things are becomming worst they where like this even before!! He is out getting trashed in the bar every single night with his co workers friends comming home in the morning intoxicated like hell. Wanting sex intoxicated being violent if I dont give in but usually passes out as well!! Anyway the problem is when I want to go out and get trashed with my friends he gets furious and starts treatening me!! Well couple days ago I asked him if he wanted to go out with me and a friend he says No he will go to one of his local bars where he practically lives there. He asked me if I wanted to come along I said no cause I dont like the place at all!! I was pissed off immediatly cause that means that I can't goo out with my friend and spend another evening at home!! So eventually I left with a friend of mine after he left without him knowing!! So the night went well I guess when he got home he was furious to see me not at home he called I didnt answer but then he passed out drunk!! So as I was walking out of the club I meet this random stranger very cute just out of the blu and decide to go back to the club dancing however nothing happend!! He wanted me to go with him to get something to eat. I said noo and went home and this guy gave me his number I didnt even ask and said call me if theres anything that you need which later I lost!! As I arrived home my H was in rage extremely upset that I have gone out without him!! He asked me to go stay at the hotel across the street from our apartment. I ignored and stayed anyway. So as he went to work the day passed and he acted like nothing happend and just told me basically you can't be going out without me ever again!! Seriously so I was like whatever. I don't know how long his gonna keep doing this? I suggested divorce to him he declinesss hates to hear me say that. I dont know how much longer I can take it!! He also tells me that he can't live without me but the controlling is becomming to much!! Lady you seriously need to let your husband go.
Lucky_One Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Or, he seriously needs to let you go. Dysfunction on both sides, at its finest.
WorldIsYours Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Or, he seriously needs to let you go. Dysfunction on both sides, at its finest. Dysfunction on both sides? This woman is steady bar hopping and messing around with other men, and wonders why her husband is ballistic.
Chi townD Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Well, it's obvious no one has gone to any counseling here. You cheated on your husband. He's not coping well with this at all and he's gone to hiding in the bottle to hide his pain. Is it right? No, it's not okay. He needs help and he's the only one to get it. HOWEVER! You go out to a club and hook up with a "cute guy" and dance the night away. Let me ask you this, if your hushand showed up and saw you dancing with this guy do you think he would have a right to be upset? And speaking of being upset. YOU sounded upset when you wrote that you lost this guys number. Just how much do you love your husband anyway?
whichwayisup Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 This marriage just needs to die already. I agree!! Just going with the OP style of posting !! at the end of every sentence!! I hope this is a joke thread, because if it's real, it's really sad that stuff like this goes on in a marriage.
Woman In Blue Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Does the PERIOD key on your keyboard not work? All those exclamation points after EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE gave me freakin seizures. I feel like I've stumbled onto the set of Jerry Springer. I'd ask who's going to get the single-wide in the divorce, but I see you live in NY City, so I guess that doesn't apply. What do you WANT us to say? That you two act like drunken fools? Ok, you both act like drunken fools. You think a bunch of strangers on an internet board can set this MESS straight? Not likely.
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 not soo normal marriage!! I posted here while back!! You can take this however!! Ok. .....Think I'll leave it. I'll only get an infraction.
Mimolicious Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Paragraphs are your friends!! Anyway, obviously this is not healthy at all. Get a divorce and if he says that he doesn't want one then look up the guidelines in your state. Move out and get a legal separation, at least.
mark982 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 how in the hell, can you work on a marriage, when your only object is to both get trashed all the time.
StoneCold Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 (edited) Dysfunction on both sides? This woman is steady bar hopping and messing around with other men, and wonders why her husband is ballistic. yah and that excuses him sexually assaulting her as part of his "ballistic" behaviour Edited April 19, 2011 by StoneCold
Baroness67 Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I really want to answer this post, but the truth is that the lack of paragraphs, run on sentences and crazy exclamation points make it impossible for me at the moment. No offense. I need to come back to this one.
WorldIsYours Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 yah and that excuses him sexually assaulting her as part of his "ballistic" behaviour Then she should've left the moment the marriage was bad, OldStone. Not being a 304 and getting involved with random men.
Author Gotti25 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 You guys are terrible soo you dont like negative. Wtf stop sending mean comments. If you dont like dont respond. Is not going goood is going really bad and you should help me out instead of putting me down mean.
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Understand this: You are both your own worst enemies. You're both playing into the drama and living on knee-jerk reactions. You make threats to leave, he says he couldn't live without you - so the cycle continues, with no change or effort to remedy the utter cr*p you're both creating. No wonder things are insane. so you have a choice: Quit with the stupid behaviour and get counselling - or go your own ways. It's not rocket science.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Holy crap. OP good for you for taking a positive step and trying to find some help to change your situation. My marriage is dysfunctional as well and there are addictive issues. 1. You are going to need to live seperately from your husband pronto and get some help for dealing with domestic violence and your very clear alcohol problem. 2. Tell your husband that you will not be with him until he gets help for his very clear alcohol problem. 3. Enter into independent counseling ASAP. 4. Make a decision on the state of your marriage with your husband much further down the line. Right now you are both very unhealthy and will be unable to make a healthy decision one way or the other. Good luck.
WorldIsYours Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 You guys are terrible soo you dont like negative. Wtf stop sending mean comments. If you dont like dont respond. Is not going goood is going really bad and you should help me out instead of putting me down mean. You need to stop throwing yourself out there with those men.
Mimolicious Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 You guys are terrible soo you dont like negative. Wtf stop sending mean comments. If you dont like dont respond. Is not going goood is going really bad and you should help me out instead of putting me down mean. Ok, how are we being mean?
dreamingoftigers Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I'd say that some of the posting on page one was pretty mean.
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 99 times out of 10, the OP never comes back, and even if advice pours out with the best of intentions, they don't take it. You know - I don't know why actually, everyone pulled a pin and lobbed the grenade. Maybe it was the excess use of exclamation marks... maybe it was the admission that she and her husband are both basically on a crash-course to self-destruct.... Some posts provoke mass sympathy. others mass disdain. I don't know why. But it's odd how it pushed peoples' buttons, huh?
dreamingoftigers Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I noticed that too, Sometimes I don't know why I pull the pin sometimes either, does happen.
Mimolicious Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 In reality, this is a place where we have to 'READ' in order to understand. If we can't do so, then how are we supposed to give our 2 cents? It was hard to follow through... And we are "mean" because we ask for a better format? Ok.
Author Gotti25 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 Maybe there was to many exclamation marks! I dont type that often
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