flowergirl333 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 My ex and I broke up yesterday and it was because he was having feelings for another girl and the girl for him except the girl has a boyfriend already. They would flirt with each other often and he would become distant towards me and get annoyed when I called him or expected him to talk to me. We are long distance by the way. Eventually he broke it off. During the break up at the end I started talking about how I was feeling and then stopped myself and said nevermind. He asked what it was and I was like nvm. He said please tell me and I said "why does it matter. We are over. What I think doesnt matter." and then he cried and started to say stuff and I kinda just wanted to leave so he asked me why I was handling this so well. Mind you for the past three week when he was annoyed and ignored me for this girl I cried my heart out, I worked and worked on the relationship but the thing was it was just me working even though we had discussed that we would both try. but yesterday I did not cry at all. I told him that I have no regrets and its not like I didnt fight for this relationship and try to work it out cause I did, so its not like I cant say that I didnt try. and then I heard him crying and I cut him off and just said Goodbye and hung up. when I said goodbye I heard him cry a little harder. part of me wanted to stay and hear more with hopes that we werent over but the other part of me knew that was pointless and I had to stay strong. After the breakup, I threw away everything he gave me. Today at around 2AM he texted asking me if I was handling the breakup alright and me telling me that it mattered what I still thought because I had been his best friend for 2 years and he would still like to be friends. I was strong about the NC thing and I was confident that I could do it. Sure I thought about him alot but I was never disheartened that that would dampen my drive for NC. It was the first day and im sure that it is common to think about him alot. But after I got the text message, I constantly think about calling him and texting him back. I do ultimately want to be his friend, but I do not know if that is the right choice I guess given what a single text from him can do for my NC drive. I am not sure what to do. I have deleted the text so that I wont be able to read it over and over again like I have doing since he sent it. I guess what i'm saying is that I do want to be his friend but am afraid that by doing that it will be harder for me to cope. What should I do? I told myself that I would wait a week before giving him an answer. Please help
jdub27 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 It is close to impossible to be friends with your ex after a breakup, especially if you still have feelings for him AND especially if he's already seeing someone else. Every time you have a conversation with him, you'll keep remembering the fact that he loves someone else. It hurts too much. I've seen exes that eventually do become friends again, but not right after the relationship ended. You have to give it some time. Heal your wounds first...
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