I feel like a paranoid gf

[heartbrokengrl]

I haven't heard from my bf (dating over 3 months) in 15 hours and I'm feeling paranoid lol It's actually not funny because I find myself coming up with wild ideas when I don't hear from him. The reason is because when we got together, he had broken up with his ex-fiance (8 year relationship) 3 months after they broke up, now it's been 6 months since they broke up and they don't speak to each other (even tho she used to try and be friends with him) Anyway, sometimes I have these ideas in my head out of insecurity that she will ask for him back (she left him for a girl, she's bisexual and he's always known this) and I always wondered if he'd consider it even tho he's already told me that he would never go back to her since she hurt him and that I was in no way a rebound either. There was a period where he felt like he wasn't ready to be in a relationship with me and tried to break it off, but since the 2nd month mark, he's been absolutely wonderful, affectionate, and sweet even tho I know he was in pain before. (he may still be in pain but not showing it as much) Anyway, I dunno why I'm like this, but it needs to stop clearly because it's unhealthy. However, it's 10AM today and last I heard from him was 4:30pm yesterday when he e-mailed me at work saying he missed me, etc...I e-mailed him around 8:30pm telling him work was boring and what he was up to, no response. I call him after work at 11PM, he didn't pick up bc he could have been sleeping. I texted him goodnight anyway. Then this morning, I text him around 9AM with goodmorning, no response, I call 30 minutes later (he should be at work) but no response but I leave a quick voicemail saying I hadn't heard from him and hoped nothing had happened to him. He's never not answered me while at work nor not responded to my texts. Again, I'm being paranoid and thinking maybe his ex-fiance messaged him yesterday or they hung out, even tho they don't see or talk to each other. I know they used to live together and he still gets her mail. Do I have the right to be this paranoid because I know that I'm just being paranoid and even jealous tho I would never verbalize any of this to him. From all these "i miss you" and "i like you" I would think it'd be enough to know that he only wants to be with me, but I know they used to be best friends and each other's first loves (he's 27 and I'm 25). Is there a way to not think like this? lol I feel like it makes me go crazy haha I actually do trust him, but then the insecure part of me always says "what if..what if he still loves her and would consider going back together if she ever wanted him again". The night before, he said he was trying to go to this club at 4AM he said while he was drunk (a place where I think his ex-fiance may hang out, or used to hang out together, I really don't know, but I thought maybe he thought he'd run into her? see this is foolish talk!) Otherwise, we're great, we get along and don't fight, have great sex, just his past sort of bothers me since I can't compare to 8 years. I keep all of this to myself because it's foolish to think that I can't compare when we're awesome together. But, it's still strange I haven't heard from him this long (15 hrs), I know it's not that long, but it's driving me nuts, I need a life lol

[Nexus One]

When it comes to things like this proof is king. Unless you have any proof that he's cheating or strong signs that he might be, then you shouldn't worry so much about it. It's not fair to see your SO as a potential cheater if he hasn't given you any reason to think that.

 

PS: Use paragraphs, otherwise people don't want to read your post. It's torture on the eyes.

Edited April 18, 2011 by Nexus One