Anna86 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hey guys, I am a regular poster at this stage, broke up with ex 3 months ago....hard a HARD time... But, I am in a slightly better place right now! Have been going NC/LC for 2 weeks now. Wow, I do feel a little better. I really do think NC is a great idea. Anyway, I am trying so hard to move on with my life. Okay, so I try get over the breakup, I am little by little. Then, I have to get over ALL our mutual friends (I realized that when I am around them, it makes me upset and he is usually there or mentioned in conversation) Long story short, turns out they aren't as great friends as I thought they were. My best friend is now dating my exes best friend so I can't really be around her as she is always with him. It hurts to lose friends also. I never really considered this. Plus, my other friends run into him from time to time so I end up hearing things. It's a hard pill to swallow. I think back to my ex and our old life. How easy it was. How I was friends with everyone, but now I have to avoid certain places and people because of him. I feel like he got off so lightly. He lives beside our mutual friends, I live far away so I know thats why they have remained close. But still, it hurts. I do have friends of course but I miss just been able to go where I want, when I want without making everything awkward for me and everyone. What should I do? Should I say 'f##k this and go where I want', or continue to hide/stay away from them, even if it means NOT going places I want with my other friends. I can't decide which is better for me right now. I just want to be free and strong. I was these things once, I want them back. My ex has done some bad things (behind my back), I think our mutual friends know about this, as I have been told that they don't want to tell me things as they want to protect me from getting hurt. As soon as ex gets a new gf I know that there is noway I can be involved in that group. We all know it. My ex has stronger connections to the group than me, it used to be me though. Ironically, I introduced many of my friends to my ex. Funny how life turns out, right? I hate this ****ty situation, maybe someone can shed light?
2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hi Anna I suppose it is striking a balance between avoiding things that stop you from healing and keeping a social circle, don't know if you have a few select friends that maybe don't hang out with this group so often and maybe try and plan things with them away from the group? Really if you feel it is hurting you seeing him maybe just avoid it for a while but that said sometimes it is better to just face your fears, yes it may hurt but you will build up a boundary to it and then it won't hurt so much, if you stayed away for a while and then went back and seen him it might bring you right back down. 2011
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