gwrath Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hi all, My Girlfriend and I broke up roughly 2 months ago ( after just under 2 and a half years) She bought up the idea of going on a 'break', and I agreed. We still loved each other, just fought alot more and no 'spark' left. So we hung out abit, ended up hooking up afew times etc got very confusing but we sorted it and cut that behaviour out. We were best friend, before the split up and after. Things got strange when she would constantly ask me if i was seeing anyone. Of course i wasn't, not ready for that! Then she became a little distant, so eventually she came picked me up after work to go hangout, in this brand new car. She told me her dad's friend has moved to England for work and is letting her borrow it for his 3 year contract. Didnt think anything of it, until I found out by accident that the car belongs to some new guy she is seeing!! So her excuse was "i didn't wanna hurt you"! okay fair enough, but lying just hurts more! So she wants to be friends still but i dont think i can handle that! am I being unreasonable?? *apologises for the long as post, feel bit better though now*
Chi townD Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 OH DUDE!!! Drop this girl like a bad habit! First, you know this, she was asking if you were seeing anyone because she felt guilty that she was. And just LESS than sixty days of your break up no less! THEN she had the gall to pick you up in HIS car? She's got a huge set on her! If she asks if you can be friends, tell her thanks, but no thanks. You have enough friends.
Broken Dreams Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 You're not being unreasonable at all. Deep down, you don't want to be friends with her because you still have feelings for her. And every time you guys hang out, it's always gonna be in the back of your mind that she is not with you anymore and it will make it difficult to hang out with someone you care for but they don't feel the same.. I think you should go through a period of "no-contact" with her, let her know that you are willing to be her friend but not right away. Let time heal your wounds and one day, when you're over her, you can be friends with her again. I know some ex's that are still friends with each other.. it can actually happen... but then again most of the time they're not.. but if you think you still can be friends, then give yourself some time to get over her first.. Personally, I can never be friends with any ex's..
Author gwrath Posted April 19, 2011 Author Posted April 19, 2011 Chi_townD; Thanks for the input, so you reckon that straight up messed up of her to do? no way in her view that she was trying to save my feelings? as this is what she says to me pretending to care how I am. its just so hard to have NC! I am going to have to follow your advice Broken_Dreams as just can't do it right now. But, it'll probably end me telling her to get lost.. Friends & Ex's can never been one in the same!!
smudge21 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I totally understand where you're coming from here. My ex was a great friend before and when things ended (not badly, they just ended) I did try to go back to being friends, but the feelings are still there and I can't deny them. The hardest part was saying goodbye as I didn't want to lose her friendship, neither did she, but it was clear only by going NC would I ever get over the feelings I'd developed. I deleted all contact with my ex and when she asked I sent her an email explaining everything. We chatted afterwards and parted as friends, clear that the friendship door was always open. I would suggest doing the same - be honest with her and then go NC. Save yourself the pain of hearing about her new relationship and just concentrate on yourself. At some point down the line that emotional bond will be broken and then you can see if her friendship is something you want to get back. But right now, you're the same as me. You can't be friends with someone you still love.
eamom Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 sometime things doesnot go through what we wanted which could lead to breakup of 2 couple which remains as negative impact on both people which may lead to suicide waprex. http://waprex.com
Fufu Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Think about this, She lies and hurts you, fact is she's seeing a new guy but make herself less guilty by saying,"i didn't wanna hurt you"! Next, she says she wants to be your friend. If you say yes, obviously you don't take it into heart she lie and hurt you. How do you feel? This is most important. I hope you seek NC as soon as possible
radiodarcy Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 i agree with FuFu; do yourself a favor and go NC ASAP. i tried being friends with after a break up and all it did was bring me misery. because he knew that i still loved him and would try to keep things from me so as not to hurt me. but it only made me feel worse. eventually he got tired of holding everything in and started telling me EVERYTHING about his dating life. when he had his next date lined up; the banging body of the girl he went out with the other night; he would forward me dating profiles of girls who had hit him up. he went from giving me very little info to way too much. in hindsight i think he was trying to drive me away. very mature i went NC soon after and am so much happier i don't have to deal with him or his childish antics...
marqueemoon4 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 yea, f her. friends don't lie to you and try to hurt you.
poorguy Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 This is typical ex girlfriend behavior. She wants to string you along while she's making adjustments in her life. It's selfishness at it's most basic level. Cut her out of your life completely
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