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Posted

Man, 31. Lady, 18. Right or wrong?

Posted

Depends.. is she out on her own?

Does she have kids?

Did she graduate high school yet?

Posted

Ew.

 

I say wrong. Especially if shes in high school and lives with her still. Like a few people say "don't rob the cradle."

Posted

It's fine. Expect some hostility from people for dating someone that young though.

Posted

She hasn't been on earth long enough to have anything in common to talk to him about. She hasn't even started to live yet. So I say wrong. She should have fun at 18. He should be mature enough to allow her to be a child. Her brain doesn't even fully develope in understanding and rationalizing until 24.

Posted
She hasn't been on earth long enough to have anything in common to talk to him about. She hasn't even started to live yet. So I say wrong. She should have fun at 18. He should be mature enough to allow her to be a child. Her brain doesn't even fully develope in understanding and rationalizing until 24.

 

Who says they aren't just going to have fun? I'm not saying she knows everything, but she's old enough to fight and die for the country. She can vote for our leaders. I think we should afford her the respect of choosing her own sexual partner and not try to shame the older man out of it because we ourselves find it gross.

Posted (edited)

When I was that young, I preferred to date much older men. They were more attractive and stable than the boys my age. I understand the attraction on both sides. They were good times. Now that I am older it would be unfair for me to say "EWWW GROSS!" Even though, I am slightly envious when my boyfriend's friends date these beautiful, young, vibrant women. I just try to keep up. : )

Edited by AzaleaBelle
Posted

Works for some.. doubtful long term but if it's about passing the time then I am sure that doesn't matter to the OP.

 

I heard a true story the other day about an older woman who went out with a younger man. Got married etc. She is now 75 and he is nearing 60. He has another woman for sex. The older woman knows but what can you do at 75? All of her family are dead and gone.

 

He and this other woman speak terrible things about this older woman and are basically waiting for her to die to carve up her wealth.

 

Worst thing is, she knows about them.

 

Doubtful it will come to this but choose wisely who you link in with. It may be fun at the start but..

 

.. Waste of time I think..

 

Take care,

Eve x

Posted

Wrong. I think you are too old. Be honest, why not find your own age? Do you want someone that is your equal? Are you looking for acceptance? Someone to look up to you? I would say okay for a hookup, but even then not really.

Posted

I think it's fine. She's legal, just don't play any games.

Posted

Eh why not?

 

The best thing about these college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

 

I'm nearing 30 and I just had lunch with a 19 year old.

Posted

Over eight years difference is just sick.

Posted

Ick. Too much of a difference at HER age. Call me crazy but a man who is 30 yrs old dating a girl who has the word "teen" attached to her age is CREEPY.

I guess I'm buying into a stereotype but I've always thought guys who go much younger do so because they can't get a woman who knows anything about life or has any real experience, and girls who go for much older have daddy issues and/or want $$. :o

Posted

it's fine. There are some who are 25 years of gap. Beat that.

Posted
it's fine. There are some who are 25 years of gap. Beat that.

 

26 yrs? :D

You know people IRL who are 25 yrs apart?

Posted

I don't think you should bother asking us this question. Why don't you ask her?

Posted
26 yrs? :D

You know people IRL who are 25 yrs apart?

 

I do. My grandparents. My Pawpaw was just out of WWII when my grandmother was born. They got together later in life, however. She was 30, he was fifty something.

Posted

I wouldn't say it is necessarily "wrong" but I highly doubt this relationship will last. You two are most likely in different places in your lives. This girl is probably trying to figure things out, like who she is, what she wants from life and her brain is still developing. You on the other hand are probably more solid, you probably know what you want from life, and you probably know who you are. It will be very hard for you to relate to this girl IMO.

 

Not only are you in different stages in your lives but you will also face social pressures. Her parents most likely won't approve of this relationship, her friends might not either. Not only that you will get nasty looks, and things said behind your back.

Posted
I do. My grandparents. My Pawpaw was just out of WWII when my grandmother was born. They got together later in life, however. She was 30, he was fifty something.

 

If your grandma was 30 when she married in 1975ish, then I don't even want to guess your and your parents age...

Posted
If your grandma was 30 when she married in 1975ish, then I don't even want to guess your and your parents age...

 

She remarried, that was her second husband. She left my biograndad pretty early. They were young mothers, however.

Posted

It's a pretty big age difference to be honest, I can't imagine there being much in common;

 

Depends what one is looking for.

 

Someone 50 and someone 38 might be better suited, but even then- there will be problems.

 

My gf is 41 and her bf is 55. They met during a window when they were compatible for a time, but grew into a time where things just aren't working anymore.

 

There will always be problems with age gaps- but in your situation, as long as it's legal it's fine in the eyes of the law.

Posted
Eh why not?

 

The best thing about these college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

 

I'm nearing 30 and I just had lunch with a 19 year old.

 

Oh ya? Did you guys buy a nice bottle of wine to go with it...oh no wait....:bunny:

Posted (edited)

I don't know that I'd say "Wrong." (I mean, I wouldn't suggest he be prosecuted for it, certainly.) Gross, weird, and suspicious. . . yes. I certainly hated when men that old would express interest in me when I was that age and wish it was considered more taboo than it is, even the same age difference now. (When men in their 40s hit on me --- I'm 26 --- I'm still totally grossed out.)

 

I think "having fun" with an 18 year old is kind of wrong unless you're VERY VERY VERY upfront that it's all there is to it --- by which I mean basically hitting her/him over the head with it, because 18 year olds cannot really "get it" easily. In terms of a real relationship, unless the 31 year old is super immature, I cannot see what they could have to base it on. And a really immature 31 year old is also gross, weird, and suspicious to me. But wrong? I mean, people can do what they like. I'll certainly judge them for it, but if the judgment of others sways you from doing something, it probably wasn't the right thing to do anyway. If you really feel secure in your choices, that wouldn't matter.

Edited by zengirl
Posted

When I met my SO I was 22 and he was 38. Now I'm 31 and he's 47, still together.

 

Every relationship has things to work out, this is just a slightly different scenario than most. We have plenty to talk about, in fact we chatter away at each other continuously still even though we live and work together. It can and does work sometimes, not all the time, but many relationships don't work out for any number of reasons.

 

I honestly must say that during my marriage to a racially mixed man, living in the deep south, I got a LOT LESS dirty looks and snubs from the public in general than I do now dating a man much older than myself. It's typically from women. Strange.

Posted
It's a pretty big age difference to be honest, I can't imagine there being much in common;

 

Depends what one is looking for.

 

Someone 50 and someone 38 might be better suited, but even then- there will be problems.

 

 

funny, to me the 50 something - 38 is far less acceptable than the age range in the original post.

 

I'm 39 and physically very active, the last two guys I dated were both 22, to me a 50 something is just old. I think the ageing process of your body speeds up after 45, certainly when you hit 50. In terms of physical appearance and fitness there is more marked differences between someone 55 and a fit 38 than between a fit 30 year-old and an 18 -year-old.

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