MelodyinTune Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hello, New here. I have been reading the board for awhile. My MM and I only meet at his office, and this makes me feel cheap and uncomfortable. He is so private about his personal life. I just want to get out, but feel unable. I often wonder if he has an OOW, because I have to drive by office on way home, and see he is there late often. I understand I am in the wrong here, and that is why I am in this situation of just the office, little contact. My question is do any of you get this treatment or similar treatment?
20Seconds Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hello, New here. I have been reading the board for awhile. My MM and I only meet at his office, and this makes me feel cheap and uncomfortable. He is so private about his personal life. I just want to get out, but feel unable. I often wonder if he has an OOW, because I have to drive by office on way home, and see he is there late often. I understand I am in the wrong here, and that is why I am in this situation of just the office, little contact. My question is do any of you get this treatment or similar treatment? Hi Melody You haven;t posted very much background to your situation and I am wondering, do you consider yourself to be in a relationship with this man? Do you meet often? What happens in between? How did you get involved in the situation? You do not sound happy and I really can't imagine that anyone WOULD be happy with it, unless they just wanted some "no-strings" sex. That's what he's having, and probably quite happy to have found someone who will provide that for him with minimal risk to himself / his marriage. Why do you accept this for yourself if you are unhappy with it? What's good about it (if anything)?
Silly_Girl Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Why do you accept this for yourself if you are unhappy with it? What's good about it (if anything)? Sounds like a rough old deal to me. I'd suggest steering clear and spending time on things that make you happy and feel good about yourself.
Emme Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 The way I am reading your post is that you are a "call girl". That's the way I'm reading it. You only go by his office. He calls you, you show up, you do the deed, and then leave. If you want the feeling of a relationship someone wining and dining you this is not the reltaionship for you. End it. You want more from him and he's not offering what you need.
whichwayisup Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hello, New here. I have been reading the board for awhile. My MM and I only meet at his office, and this makes me feel cheap and uncomfortable. He is so private about his personal life. I just want to get out, but feel unable. I often wonder if he has an OOW, because I have to drive by office on way home, and see he is there late often. I understand I am in the wrong here, and that is why I am in this situation of just the office, little contact. My question is do any of you get this treatment or similar treatment? So, why are you allowing him to treat you this way? Only see you in the office. What's the point? What are YOU getting out of this? Settling for table scraps...Enjoying 'stolen moments', here and there? Wasting energy on a MM who really has put you low on his priority list. If you are unhappy with how things are, END IT. Why hang onto someone who treats you like shi.t?
Lucky_One Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I am not a fan of EMAs, even though I was in one. I fell in love with a man who happened to be married. But we at least tried to do the best we could with the limited time and resources that he had available. And one of those things was proper sex in a proper bed. How do you snuggle and pillow talk and murmur and giggle and stroke each other after making love if you are in an office? No - affairs can be hard enough without being a "bang and run". Rug burn, being bent over desks, quick bjs all have their rightful space in a full relationship, but they should never compromise the entirety in a romantic, love relationship. And if a R isn't about romance and love, then I wouldn't want to be in it, anyway.
daisy love Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 My studmuffin always takes me to the finest restaurants and grandest of hotels. We paint the town Red every time we see each other! Your right to feel cheap! You should make him treat you better! He's lucky to have you! He needs to show it!
daisy love Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Oh! I forgot to add! I'm the one that is happy to stay in, if ya know what I mean!;) But I don't want him to think that I'm just using him for his hott Sexy bod, so I let him take me out. I call it refueling!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 As another poster has put it, you are a " call girl". Your MM knows what he is doing- he's compartmentalizing his affair from his personal life, hence why he has not divulge anything about his personal life. So while you're wrecking yourself over your actions of being the OW, he could hardly care much or think about how you feel ( really, one does not think when having carnal sex). You really do have the short end of the stick because he has a family and free sex from you while you basically have nothing except those few hours " shagging" in the office.
Breezy Trousers Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 This sounds like less than an affair. Most guys at least pretend to cultivate a "deep" emotional connection and buy gifts for OW to get what they want. This guy isn't even bothering to do that. (I guess you should be grateful for small favors?) If you were enjoying this situation solely for the hot sex, that would be one thing, but it's clear you have tender feelings for this man -- your insecurity suggests this. Could he be exploiting your feelings for his own sexual gratification? People who cross boundaries, exploit (subordinates?) and lack empathy are unsafe people. Your intuition may already be telling you this. Your insecurity could just be a sign of what you already know but perhaps don't want to admit. Every human being deserves a safe, loving relationship, including you (whether you believe that or not). I respect your journey, but my hope is that you get out of this before your self esteem ends up in the basement. The longer you're in this, the more likely you are to end up feeling badly about yourself & the longer it may take for you to learn to trust yourself & life again.
2sunny Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 he does it bevause you ALLOW it - so stop allowing it! and no one MAKES you go by his office... YOU choose that! stop choosing harm to yourself. you deserve more than that.
Woman In Blue Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 Hello, My MM and I only meet at his office, and this makes me feel cheap and uncomfortable. He is so private about his personal life. I just want to get out, but feel unable. Why are you basically giving this guy curb service? What's the point? He's making ZERO effort - you show up at his office, have sex with him, and you leave. The only effort he expends on your behalf is opening the door to let you in. My question is do any of you get this treatment or similar treatment? No. I'd never reduce myself to being some guy's visiting sex service, and that's basically what you're doing.
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