MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 My ex broke up with me at the end of Feb. We still lived together until a week ago. He said I was too controlling, demanding, and mean. I agreed I needed to tone that down but I was those things because he was a bit unmotivated at times, got caught texting women, and also kinda mean. Other than those moments of weakness what we had was awesome. Now after 2 months (Including one hook up he had with a woman he met) he says it's irrational and demanding for me to ask him to choose if we are going to try all over again or go our separate ways. I'm thinking dude it's been 2 months and I've just been sitting here crying, begging, and waiting. he says its been 1 week cause thats how long he's had his place. he says that we should date again but also date other people. He says I am punishing him for needing time...I see him as punishing me by wanting to date other women. I dont know what to do. If I stop talking to him he sees that as irrational and that I'm still this bitch who can't compromise. And I see it as painful to maintain contact with someone I love who doesnt want to be with me.
dragonfly22 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I would say forget about it. He wants to date you but also date other people?? He probably misses your company so he wants to have that while going out with other girls who might not have an emotional connection with him, only a sexual one. Either he is in the relationship and wanting to work to make it succeed or he is not. You've come a long way, don't ruin that progress just because he is immature and doesn't know what he wants. Move on. Believe me one day he will realize he was an idiot but it will be too late and you will be with someone who truly values you and deserves you and wants to be with YOU only.
SingVoice Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 He got caught texting other women? Well imagine what he hasn't yet got caught doing. You don't need him. Right now...he is in control. He knows you want him...so he is trying to make everything out so it suits him and he can do whatever he wants. He is creating the perfect situation for himself...he can string you along and still go bang other girls. You need to take your own power back. Do you want to be with someone you can't trust? Just tell him "thanks but no thanks." And move on. I know it is hard...but he moved out. It's over. If he thought there was any real chance with you he would have stayed to work on it...not moved out.
Fufu Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 he says that we should date again but also date other people. Good enough reason to leave him and move on. Reason being, you want the love of your life to be committed to you truly.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 No woman is controlling, demanding and/or mean unless she is a real bitch, and hon, you don't sound like one. He is simply gaslighting and guilting you into accepting his terms. And phew! does his demands stink. Are you sure you cannot live without him? Here is a man who is selfish enough to ask that you put yourself on hold and give him time. Fine, that he needs space, but for you to accept that and watch him date other women; you're needlessly torturing yourself.
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