effmylife Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Brief overview...met HS sweetheart (first love) after 30 years. Both having marital problems and had an affair that has lasted almost a year. He insists he loves me, and almost left his wife, but at the last minute chickened out because of financial burden and heartbreak to daughter that it would cause. He still says he loves me and emails frequently. He initially stated he wanted to work on his marriage, but has not really done so. Supposedly nothing has changed in their relationship, and I do believe that based on what I know and can see. We no longer meet, but he still says he loves me in emails. He said he would tell me if anything changed with his marriage (for good or for bad). I have left my husband and now he rarely e-mails stating work is busy, life is busy but yet has time to spend on Facebook. He hasn't broken it off, but has reduced contact. I feel like I have sacrificed everything only to be rejected because he is too afraid to tell the truth to his wife and daughter. Their marriage is a shell, like room mates, no sex, no kissing, no love. I am having really strong urges to send his wife an anonymous letter telling her that he is having an affair so that either she will confront him, take him back with a loving relationship or he will be free to pursue one himself. Whether it is with me or not, I don't really care at this point. I am not sure that I want to be with him at this point after all he has done to hurt me anyway, but I do believe the truth will set us all free. It would be my way of getting some needed closure. I've written the letter, but not yet sent it. I'm not sure I have anything to lose by sending it, but thought I'd get opinions from this site first.
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 first off, great username.. i wish I had thought of that one. secondly, maybe you should hold off on sending that letter... give yourself a few days to really think it through. I'm with you 100% on the whole truth needs to come out thing.. but, these are real lives that will be affected. I did something similar, and sorta regret it now.
Irishlove Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 You only know what he is telling you. SHe may think things are great at home. He is stringing you along by saying he will let you know one way or the other. Why hurt her? She didn't do anything to you. He is azz. You should take care of yourself, quit emailing him and find someone who has undivided attention for you and leave them alone. It's not up to him, it's up to you! He is totally playing you. He isn't going to leave his wife. Try posting on The other woman/The other man forum on here.
Chi townD Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 No sex, no kissing and no love? Is that what he's telling you? A lot of times, those statements aren't the truth. I would suggest that you go NC with this guy. You don't need to be messing around with this dude. Then find a guy that you KNOW is unattached and can give you 100% of his love and attention that you deserve.
dla0519 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Think of how that letter will hurt his daughter. I know you want him to hurt but think of her.
Author effmylife Posted April 21, 2011 Author Posted April 21, 2011 I haven't sent it yet...he has been emailing me again. Said he was just busy at work before. He was the catalyst to breaking up my marriage. I so want to return that favor. I am trying not to act rashly, but I can see myself sending it if I end up having a bad day.
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