makelemonade1974 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I'm struggling with the fact that I'm not sure I'm ready to "settle down" and get super-serious with the guy I'm dating. The thing is, we are falling into boyfriend / girlfriend patterns. Although we only see each other a couple times a week, we text every day and talk on the phone a lot. Is this bad? I don't want to become too dependent on him and I want to feel secure and independent on my own without a guy in my life. I just want a lover and friend. He knows all of this, as we've talked about my "fear of commitment" so to speak. So how do you all maintain this balance of togetherness and independence? Is it wrong to talk EVERY day?
denise_xo Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I think it's normal to go through a honey moon phase where you want to talk all the time, and then with time it evens out a bit more. I think you should just relax and go with the flow. Unless you have a history of not balancing it out in general, I think time will take care of it.
ASG Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I'm struggling with the fact that I'm not sure I'm ready to "settle down" and get super-serious with the guy I'm dating. The thing is, we are falling into boyfriend / girlfriend patterns. Although we only see each other a couple times a week, we text every day and talk on the phone a lot. Is this bad? I don't want to become too dependent on him and I want to feel secure and independent on my own without a guy in my life. I just want a lover and friend. He knows all of this, as we've talked about my "fear of commitment" so to speak. So how do you all maintain this balance of togetherness and independence? Is it wrong to talk EVERY day? It's not wrong to talk everyday. You can be independent no matter what your relationship status is with him. You just need to carry on living your life. Go out with your friends. Make your own plans if you feel like it. I could introduce you to my ex, as that was one of the reasons we didn't work out. He wanted a lover and a friend (albeit exclusive and commited, in a way), but without the pressure of a very serious relationship that would eventually lead to living together or getting married or, heaven forbid, have children!
WillSingForFood Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 As long as you don't spend all your time talking to him, what's the issue? A few times a day, every day, doesn't hurt, especially if you only see each other a couple times a week. I'd say, that's a pretty good way to go about things. Not too slow or too little, but not too fast and too much. As long as you have a clear line drawn out as to what you want, then youre good to go.
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