Sevenscars Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I've been seeing this girl for a few months now and things have been pretty serious. Recently I found out that at the beginning of our relationship, she slept with someone else. She said it was a mistake and she thought of me the whole time and stopped it. Thing is, she continually lied about what happened until i finally got it out of her. Then I found out that a few weeks after that happened she slept over the guy's house in his bed. Her reasoning was that she was really messed up off prescribed drugs and such and didn't want to walk home so late. She says that he kissed her but she stopped him, and since they slept together she's never let him touch her. But i'm having trouble with this because for a few months, she kept frequently posting on his FB and such. She says it means nothing and she was just trying to be his friend, until she found out what a crappy guy he is (just using her for lots of things), told him off and stopped talking to him. She's expressed so much guilt and remorse over what happened, and says i deserve a lot better than that and she will never do it again because she doesn't want to go through all that guilt and pain and cause me such hurt. But she continually tells me that they only had sex once, never again. Can I believe her?
Arabella Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 No, you can't. Once a cheater & liar, always will keep doing it no matter what. If you show her that you will put up with it, you're basically giving her a free pass to do it whenever she wants knowing that you will forgive her every time. Don't be a doormat. Dump her and find someone who deserves you. Arabella
drifter777 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I've been seeing this girl for a few months now and things have been pretty serious. Recently I found out that at the beginning of our relationship, she slept with someone else. She said it was a mistake and she thought of me the whole time and stopped it. Thing is, she continually lied about what happened until i finally got it out of her. Then I found out that a few weeks after that happened she slept over the guy's house in his bed. Her reasoning was that she was really messed up off prescribed drugs and such and didn't want to walk home so late. She says that he kissed her but she stopped him, and since they slept together she's never let him touch her. But i'm having trouble with this because for a few months, she kept frequently posting on his FB and such. She says it means nothing and she was just trying to be his friend, until she found out what a crappy guy he is (just using her for lots of things), told him off and stopped talking to him. She's expressed so much guilt and remorse over what happened, and says i deserve a lot better than that and she will never do it again because she doesn't want to go through all that guilt and pain and cause me such hurt. But she continually tells me that they only had sex once, never again. Can I believe her? And once is not enough for you? She screwed this guy and then lied about it until you got it out of her. Then she slept at his house, in his bed and is telling you they didn't have sex? Please. She's probably screwing a lot of other guys as well since it sounds as though she is young and enjoying her promiscuous lifestyle. As for her remorse, you simply fill some need for her - maybe she doesn't like to be alone and want's a sure thing waiting for her when she wants attention. If this is ok with you then just enjoy your turn in the saddle and don't get attached. Don't make the mistake of thinking she is "girlfriend" material as she's just a sex toy for you and as many other guys as she can get to.
Bryanp Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 And she continued to facebook him for months afterwards. My friend if you believe she slept in his bed again after screwing her and she only let him kiss her then..........................I have got this great bridge I can sell you for a great price. You would have to be in major denial to believe this. If the roles were reversed she would not believe this crap either. How many times does she need to make you look like a fool?
Chi townD Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Bryanp makes a good point, what do you think her reaction would be if the roles were reversed?
stace79 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I'm not sure I have enough info to make a judgment. Did she honestly stop communicating with him? As in, did she remove him from her friends list on Facebook and everything? Also, when she slept with him, were you two exclusive? As in, did you actually have the talk that you were only going to be with each other? Or were you just "dating" when she did that? I think it's easy to say "Oh, she's just a cheater and liar." But if you weren't officially exclusive and she made a mistake or whatever, then I can understand her not wanting to tell you about her sexual encounter with him, especially if she regretted doing it. Not to mention that if it occurred prior to you being exclusive, it's really none of your business.
Memphis Raines Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I've been seeing this girl for a few months now and things have been pretty serious. Recently I found out that at the beginning of our relationship, she slept with someone else. She said it was a mistake and she thought of me the whole time and stopped it. she thought of you through the WHOLE thing eh? ya, riiiiight. she thinks you are stupid. hopefully you don't buy that line. Thing is, she continually lied about what happened until i finally got it out of her. Then I found out that a few weeks after that happened she slept over the guy's house in his bed. so according to her, she stopped it because of you, but still stayed the night. sorry, got my bulls**t detector going here. if she thought of you and stopped it, then she would have gotten up and walked out the door. Her reasoning was that she was really messed up off prescribed drugs and such and didn't want to walk home so late. but was in good enough shape to start f*****g. boy, she's creative to say the least. What was she doing there in the first place. If she was on prescription drugs, wouldn't you think at home resting would have been the logical behavior here? She's expressed so much guilt and remorse over what happened, and says i deserve a lot better than that and she will never do it again because she doesn't want to go through all that guilt and pain and cause me such hurt. But she continually tells me that they only had sex once, never again. Can I believe her? no, you can't believe her. and what difference does it make if they only had sex once. cheating is cheating. you'd do well to give this liar the pink slip.
Memphis Raines Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I think it's easy to say "Oh, she's just a cheater and liar." But if you weren't officially exclusive and she made a mistake or whatever, then I can understand her not wanting to tell you . if they weren't exclusive, and she wanted something with him, then that wasn't the way to go about it.
stace79 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 if they weren't exclusive, and she wanted something with him, then that wasn't the way to go about it. I don't really agree. Even if I really like somebody, if I don't know for sure something is going to work out, I'm still going to live my life. Can't put all your eggs in one basket.
Professor X Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 she thought of you through the WHOLE thing eh? ya, riiiiight. she thinks you are stupid. hopefully you don't buy that line. so according to her, she stopped it because of you, but still stayed the night. sorry, got my bullshat detector going here. if she thought of you and stopped it, then she would have gotten up and walked out the door. but was in good enough shape to start f*****g. boy, she's creative to say the least. What was she doing there in the first place. If she was on prescription drugs, wouldn't you think at home resting would have been the logical behavior here? no, you can't believe her. and what difference does it make if they only had sex once. cheating is cheating. you'd do well to give this liar the pink slip. Lol, this read made me laugh! Good thing you've put your bull**** detection goggles on
Memphis Raines Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I don't really agree. Even if I really like somebody, if I don't know for sure something is going to work out, I'm still going to live my life. Can't put all your eggs in one basket. you can disagree all you like, my point seem correct because the OP is put off by this. If it was the correct way to go about wanting a relationship with 7scars, then he wouldn't be upset about it would he? Just like a girl when I was younger really wanted a relationship with me while we were dating, but didn't have the exclusivity talk yet. So she goes off and screws someone else, and expected me, after the fact, to want someone that would do that. I told her then that if she wanted something with me, that she went about it the wrong way. So I told her goodbye. then i had to have her blocked on my cell because she wouldn't leave me alone after that.
Memphis Raines Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Lol, this read made me laugh! Good thing you've put your bull**** detection goggles on they never come off.
stace79 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 you can disagree all you like, my point seem correct because the OP is put off by this. If it was the correct way to go about wanting a relationship with 7scars, then he wouldn't be upset about it would he? Just like a girl when I was younger really wanted a relationship with me while we were dating, but didn't have the exclusivity talk yet. So she goes off and screws someone else, and expected me, after the fact, to want someone that would do that. I told her then that if she wanted something with me, that she went about it the wrong way. So I told her goodbye. then i had to have her blocked on my cell because she wouldn't leave me alone after that. Point is if you aren't exclusive, it's not your business what the other person is doing. If I'm single and decide to mess around with someone, I'm not going to share that info with the next guy I date seriously, even if it was just a few weeks prior. Just like my ex and I who are talking now, he dated other people while we were broken up but it isn't my business what he was doing then.
Memphis Raines Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Point is if you aren't exclusive, it's not your business what the other person is doing. but if somehow it is found out, business of the offended party or not, it is the offended party's right to be offended. and it isn't for the offending party to get to decide if it wasn't the best way to go about getting an exclusive relationship with someone. If I'm single and decide to mess around with someone, I'm not going to share that info with the next guy I date seriously we aren't talking about what you did before you date someone. we are talking about trying to build a relationship with someone you are dating. and going out and boning someone else isn't a great way to get a relationship with someone you want one with. Just like my ex and I who are talking now, he dated other people while we were broken up but it isn't my business what he was doing then. again, we aren't talking about what happens while broke up. we are talking about what happens while dating someone.
Recommended Posts