Ryanyahhh Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) Hey everybody, I hope I put this in the right section, because this is my first post. Okayy, so heres the situation.. I'm a freshman in college and this girl is a senior in highschool. I've been friends with her since last year but we didn't talk much. This semester we started talking a lot and I've been going over to her house a lot. She does have a boyfriend and has been dating him for a few months. Whenever I go to her house she never talks about the other guy.. And last time I went to a show with her she was sitting with me the whole time while her boyfriend sat across the room the whole time (honestly not sure why, I never asked). Ive started liking her since weve been talking a lot more but never told her how I felt. Now since shes dating this guy, I'm starting to feel more and more like I'm in the friend zone. I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions? I really like this girl and don't want to just stop talking to her to get out of the friend zone. I want to tell her how I feel but not while she's dating some guy and I don't want to wait too long... Should I wait and tell her? Drift out of friendship until she's single? Keep on doing what I'm doing? If you want to know anything else just let me know.. Thank you Edited April 18, 2011 by Ryanyahhh
Eddie Edirol Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Drift out of friendship until she is single. Youve quickly placed yourself in the unattractive zone by hanging with her so much while she has a bf. Youve been an emotional tampon even though she doesnt talk about him. Basically you are the friend she doesnt get with her bf. That or she gets a self esteem boost knowing you are into her and follow her around like a puppy dog. Get away from her for now, and in the meantime, she needs to see another girl all over you, so she can wonder why you are desirable to women and he didnt see it before. She needs to know you dont need her, and dont sweat her for you to be attractive to her. read this in the meantime: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3344707&postcount=1
carhill Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 OP, if she were older I'd say she's a collector, but she's young; in some jurisdictions, 'illegal' from the sexual standpoint for you. Regardless, she's using her sexual power to orbit those who would accept such duty. Up to you whether you want to accept it. At your age, relationships are nebulous. People change partners like underwear. Ask some other young ladies out on dates. Be sociable with this one but don't 'hang out'. Odds are she'll find a replacement orbiter, but maybe she'll notice you're not around and it might affect her. Who knows? In any event, the current dynamic is too much of a one-way street and not your way at all. Up to you to rectify that. Good luck and welcome to LS
Author Ryanyahhh Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 @Eddie edirol I agree with you. I have been there for her too much. Ive realized that it's probably better that I stop doing so much for her. I don't agree with finding a girl just to show her that women are attracted to me.. I think I'm just going to try to forget about her in regards to having a relationship. @carhill First of all thank you for the reply. Ive been thinking about this a lot and since putting it into writing, I think I understand the situation better. The more I think about it, the less I believe in a friend zone and the more I start to think that if a girl is attracted to you you won't be stuck as a friend. I realize the dating patterns of people my age, but that's not exactly my style. All my relationships have been long lasting (with regards to my age), most about 9 months. I do find it hard to move on if I'm liking a girl, but since thinking about it more I think this is the best way to go about it. I don't think it would've worked out from the start. I'll continue being friends with her, but all the favors and hanging out are done.. Well I mean I'll still hang out a bit, but not as frequent as it had been. Thank you both for the advice, it really helped me.
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