Running out of time, but want her back

[pwnies]

I've been hooking up/talking to my girl for 2 years but seriously with her for 6 months. We have always had a thing for each other since like the first day of college, had a shaky beginning but ended up with each other after everything.

 

Long story short, things started to get really good but one night we had a big fight and I couldn't take it anymore and ended it. I regret ending it 100%. I didn't give her a shot to explain herself and was stubborn.

 

Here's the problem. I have one month left of school and want to make things right before I go home. She has told me she is willing to give me another chance, but I told her that I wanna work on myself and give her some space so she can calm down. I know rushing into things is going to make it more complicated but I also have like no time to fix this. We spoke this morning and she told me I'm sending her mixed signals, saying I want one thing and doing the other. She wants me to try and to be consistent or it will go nowhere. I know I ended it so I should be making the effort but how much contact is too much contact? I am so confused.

 

What is the best course of action to take? I see her out on the weekends because we are in the same social scene at school but I want to take her out 1 on 1. Should I keep in contact over text? She responds to my texts in like a minute and seems ok talking to me, but I don't want to annoy her.. I don't know what is too much and what is too little.

 

Thanks!!

Edited April 18, 2011 by pwnies

[pwnies]

Bumping to say that I spoke to her last night on AIM for about an hour, had a normal convo, didn't mention the breakup once. She seemed receptive and fine with it. Should I keep contacting? I don't want to come across as clingy but I understand since I was the dumper I need to put some pride aside and make the effort. I just don't know when enough is enough.

Edited April 18, 2011 by pwnies

[Hules]

You haven't given us much info to work with so its hard to give you advice. So I'm going to ask some questions.

 

1) What was the fight about?

2) What personal issues did you want to work on?

3) Why are you in a rush to fix things?

[pwnies]

You haven't given us much info to work with so its hard to give you advice. So I'm going to ask some questions.

 

1) What was the fight about?

2) What personal issues did you want to work on?

3) Why are you in a rush to fix things?

 

1) I heard from her best friends that she wasn't over her ex and talked about him a lot which really upset me. I started to emotionally withdraw myself and stopped contacting her as much. She got upset, I reacted, and we made up. The next week was low contact because she wanted me to make up for not reaching out to her the whole week before. I reached out to her alot and she didn't initiate contact once. At this point I was figuring I understand she's upset, and I did all I could to make up for it. I was out with her and my friends at a bar, she was acting weird so I just said screw this and did my own thing. Before I was about to leave she gave me the middle finger behind my back. I confronted her about it and she pushed me away. I left the bar, she sent me a few texts apologizing which I ignored, and I had my decision made up. She reached out to me again the next day to say hi and I just told her I couldn't talk to her now (didn't give her a chance to explain). The next night we were out at a bar and I ended things (immature to do in public) but I was so pissed and needed to get it done with. She was explaining the middle finger was a misunderstanding and she was doing it because her friend was reminding her of the fight we had the prior week (about me being cold to her). Either way it still really bothered me. I took her out for a walk a few days after because I never gave her a full shot to explain what was going on.

 

2. I get angry very easily and walk away from her if I'm upset sometimes. She had a bf for like 7 years before and I've only had 2 short term gf's so we both have different expectations of a relationship. I should have came to her when I heard what I did instead of listening to a friend and just cutting contact (very immature of me).

 

3. I'm not in a rush to get back with her, but I do want to fix our friendship. I see her out every weekend and we have the same circle of friends. Ignoring this won't do anything except harbor more negative feelings. Her friends already told me it's hard for them to talk to me when they are out because they feel they have to take her side. I don't want that, and I regret how I ended it. I don't know if I regret ending it right now, but I know we had a lot of good times, and things were finally starting to get real serious (lots of sex, talking all the time) and I did something stupid by pulling myself away because of what I heard. I could see myself being with her in the future, and she told me she wants me to try and make things okay. I've been reaching out to her and she's very receptive. She knows I'm not asking for her back now, but there's only a few weeks left here at school and I want to still be able to talk to her when we're out, hang out, and see where it goes in the remaining weeks.

 

I've told her that I understand that because I did the dumping, she has every right to go see what's out there. My goal before the summer ends is to get us back on friendly (or possibly even more) terms. I know that if I ignore her and act rude, this will not happen especially because she said she wants me to try right now to make things work. I told her if she needs space just to let me know. She has said that she would say it if she does. I've been reaching out to her the past couple nights and she's been responding quickly and friendly, so I feel like I'm doing the right thing. I'm not pressuring her, not asking her what she thinks about us, I'm simply talking to her like we used to and building it slowly up. Considering I just dumped her, I realize I will have to be initiating contact most of the time and I guess I'll deal with that.

Edited April 19, 2011 by pwnies