lovnlost Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 After 2 months of no contact she sent me a FB message saying she was thinking about me and hopes all is well with me. Odd....I have been strong and not said a peep. This happened two days ago. I thought...I should say thank you. Then I realized for what? She stonewalled me which is just a way to keep control in a relationship. Then I thought...I should ask her if her current exhusband/ boyfriend/roommate/ father of children/ whom your not "in love" with ( is there a word for this combo?) knew I she was contacted me again and should I tell him or should you? Then I thought, well, thats mean and I promised I would keep my ego out of it if she ever responded. Since the wounds are still so fresh and I still think of her. I have decided to not say a peep. It was a closed message anyway, with no questions. BUT, she may as well be testing the waters ya know. I won't give her that satisfaction of sense of control. If saying less is more, then saying nothing should drop a HUGE statement? Right? I need to heal before I can ever dialogue with her again. Let me know if ya'll think I am doing right by this. Thanks.
Hopeless Girl Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I hate it when people do that . I just wish people would just dump u and get it over with. dont speak to you again... trying to be all nice ... yea dont say a peep anyways why would u? ur not gettin anything out of it ....
PelicanPete Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 What I learned.. Take every message from your ex breaking NC literal. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to decipher a meaning that probably isn't even there. I think she is just hoping you're doing alright. If i were you I'd just ignore it, or if you don't have the willpower to not respond just say "thanks" or some one word response and continue NC. Two months though buddy, doin good
suddendumpee Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Ignore it. If you want proof of what effect this has, read my story. If she has 2nd thoughts/regrets, she WILL let you know in the clearest of ways. Responding to this will be a setback if you are hoping for reconciliation. He seeing that you are still "waiting" for her will NOT help her make a real decision.
Author lovnlost Posted April 18, 2011 Author Posted April 18, 2011 thanks for the reassurance! Truly! SD...I spent the better part of this evening reading your story and people's views on it as well. I have been on here trying to get clarity as well....however...I dont word things as well and perhaps have been way to sporadic about it all. Not used to dealing with such intense emotions ya know. Anyway, I read your story and it is VERY similar to my own. I am keeping with NC for me, myself, and I. It is also best for me to be as strong as I can for my kiddo and I dont want to have my little girl see me a reck anymore. The initial shock has worn off after the first few weeks. But, like I said, I still think of all the good and memories...then how pathetically she ended everything. Short, dishonest, stonewalling.....Felt like I was the punchline in a joke asking "is this for real." Then she made remarks as to my strength of character for trying to get closer for a week after....well...I did. I went NC. I shall find my own version of it as nothing she can say will ever resolve what occured....and I am not ready to forgive or let her have any satisfaction like what you were pondering about. SO...I am very sorry for your hurt.....but thankful for you telling us and expressing your feelings and your experience as it is going to help me get through my tough road here. And I hope you get the chance you deserve after all of this. Cheers! best homework I have read in a while actually....
Recommended Posts