confusedangel312 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hi, everyone im a newbie to the forum. this post may get a little long winded so i hope you are comfortable lol. first things first.. i met aaron when i was 12/13.. he was a "bad boy" type, had a lot of family issues(abuse etc) and was in trouble w/the law when he was 14 or so. he and i were instant friends, inseperable really, and were bf/gf for the time that he lived here. his family shipped him off to live w/his dad and we lost contact for a few years. fast forward a couple years and i happen to run into him one night while out with a friend, we started seeing eachother again and it didnt last too long due to him getting in trouble for something his friend did. after another 2 yrs or so of no contact, he comes to visit me out of the blue-it was normal for him to do that, and i never really had a problem with it-and we re connect but are just friends. shortly after he calls me, and drops a bombshell.. hes in trouble and they want him to do 3yrs. hes scared, has no one, and asks me to be a friend and write him-which i agree to. eventually we got back together even though it was long distance-3hrs from eachother- and he was in jail. the bond he and i shared before, during and since has been one that ive never experienced with anyone else. we truly know eachother on a level either of us have had before or since. (im 27 yrs old btw). we broke up shortly before he was due to be released, due to an over reaction about something minor, on my part.. we have since hashed it out and hes completely forgiven me, and i him. we hadnt had any contact in almost 3yrs and i had moved on, was in a new relationship, and had a baby girl. after that blew up, i went to the only person i could really talk to, and he was nothing but sweet to me and let me talk it out. i know some may think "why bother?" or "hes a criminal " etc.. but no one is perfect, and we all make mistakes, some legal some not. we have kept in regular contact since we've both been single, and he came to my place last april so we could see eachother since it had been over 4yrs. he wanted to get back with me, and i was apprehensive-my dad isnt his biggest fan- so i said no, and as much as we loved eachother we shouldnt. i know i made the right decision at the time, and we agreed to be friends. i have tried to move on, more than once from him- not necessarily romantically- hes just always been THAT guy that you somehow cant get out of your system.. im not sure why.. anyone know what i mean? im not saying i want to get back with him even though i know he'd take me back in a heartbeat, because im 100% positive my parents would snap- rightly so, but what about my happiness? and ive also got my daughter to think of first and foremost( fyi hes never been violent to women,or kids) ive put quite a lot of things in my life on hold for someone/something else, and havent ever truly been happy unless i was around aaron. most recently he got in some more trouble-after being free 3yrs, and i made a decision to write to him-as a friend, despite struggling with the decision, i felt i should be there for him. i dont turn my back on a friend when they need me, just part of who i am. i realize ill likely get bashed or talked down to about this, but thats okay.. ive heard it all before and then some lol. i guess im just looking for an outside opinion on things, since its hard to take a step back from things to analyze a relationship that has been so significant. anyhow, thats my post lol anyone have any thoughts/etc to share id love to hear it!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Stick with your instincts, and also recognize the difference between the unsavory individual Aaron is, and the very respectable and considerable size of your investment in him. Aaron is "THAT guy" to you as the result of your own significant emotional investment in him. He did not get there on any of his own merits, you just enjoyed giving yourself and your many thoughts to one individual, and building on that (vs. picking out a new face at the bar every night). So recognize that you very well can invest yourself in a person who fits you much better, and who also fits with in the wide realm of the standards of your parents. You'd be surprised at what flaws your parents will accept in a mate for you... but when you go way over the line like this, they're likely to save you from yourself.
Author confusedangel312 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Posted April 18, 2011 Thank you for your input. I should state though that I have no intentions of getting back together with him, and even though he is "that guy" to me, i did date a few other people in the 6 yrs I was with Aaron(i broke things off a few times) so I know what a good relationship is all about and how I deserve to be treated by a man. I guess I worry that ill never have that kind of bond with a guy who's not aaron lol. I know I can be his friend without falling back to old thoughts and feelings. Right now my instincts tell me to stay away from his issues / drama which makes it hard bc we have been writing again so I'm unsure of how to go about that. Maybe in the long run its better to not have any contact,hard as that may be..
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