MrNate Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Well, it's dawned on me last night (with the help of the lovely ms Ruby Slippers over there:love:) that I indeed have commitment issues. Instead of fighting and trying to disagree with that idea, I tried accepting it for the first time last night. Strangely enough, no part of me decided to argue back. I mean, relationships seem to be quite an awesome thing, but for one reason or another, every time I shoot right to the negatives right away. Every time. It's like.. part of me wants to get a girlfriend, and see where it goes. But on that same token, a part of me is saying "Look, Nate, you're a very horny man with a lot of sexual energy. Don't worry about relationships, there's a lot of fine women out there, just sow those many seeds you possess." I am a Leo. I feel like I've been going through this for more days than I can count. I don't know if this is good or bad anymore. WTF do I do??
Nexus One Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) Well, it's dawned on me last night (with the help of the lovely ms Ruby Slippers over there:love:) that I indeed have commitment issues. Instead of fighting and trying to disagree with that idea, I tried accepting it for the first time last night. Strangely enough, no part of me decided to argue back. I mean, relationships seem to be quite an awesome thing, but for one reason or another, every time I shoot right to the negatives right away. Every time. It's like.. part of me wants to get a girlfriend, and see where it goes. But on that same token, a part of me is saying "Look, Nate, you're a very horny man with a lot of sexual energy. Don't worry about relationships, there's a lot of fine women out there, just sow those many seeds you possess." I am a Leo. I feel like I've been going through this for more days than I can count. I don't know if this is good or bad anymore. WTF do I do?? Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. If you fall into a relationship and feel comfortable in it, then that's great, A-Ok. If not and you continue to "sow around your seed"(lol), then at least try to do it without hurting women, at least be upfront about it to them, so that they know what to expect and can make their decision using that information. Edited April 17, 2011 by Nexus One
Professor X Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 If it gets to the point where it's to much for you, just go and seek therapy. Fearing commitment is something quite common.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 How old are you? What do you want out of your life for the next few years?
Author MrNate Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 How old are you? What do you want out of your life for the next few years? I'm 22. In terms of what I want out of life for the next few years? I would say...to get my own business up and running... and to potentially move somewhere near a beach.
snug.bunny Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Your sexual appetite and desire to pursue/want multiple women, overrides a desire for an intimate relationship with one person and perhaps the underlying fear, for you, is that one woman cannot/will not be able to satisfy you. Explore that thought a bit further and see what you come up with. You have to do what feels natural for YOU, and if this type of lifestyle feels natural for you, embrace it with open arms. If it doesn't quite "feel right", then learn to tap into the source that longs for intimacy with one person, and let it guide you....Eventually, one will lead over the other, as it is meant to. Happy journies.
Author MrNate Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 If it gets to the point where it's to much for you, just go and seek therapy. Fearing commitment is something quite common. I wouldn't say it's that bad. But I'm having trouble establishing direction if that makes sense. I'm just trying to find out at what point am I being honest with myself. Because that in itself is my biggest concern.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I'm 22. In terms of what I want out of life for the next few years? I would say...to get my own business up and running... and to potentially move somewhere near a beach. Starting your own business is an excellent and smart goal. I work for myself and love it. I wouldn't say it's that bad. But I'm having trouble establishing direction if that makes sense. I'm just trying to find out at what point am I being honest with myself. Because that in itself is my biggest concern. I say don't worry it about for now. I believe that most men aren't even close to wanting to make a real relationship commitment till around 40. Some men never are. And that's OK! Just be honest with women about what you want. My last boyfriend told me he'd struggled with commitment all his life. The thing is, if he'd been totally honest from the beginning, and not played up the whole "you're the love of my life and I want to marry you" thing, I still would have wanted to have all the good times we had together. But then I would have known what the deal was, and would have kept everything lighter, which would have been healthier for both of us. Just please be honest... with women and -- even more importantly -- with yourself. It's amazing how much people lie to others and themselves, and it's just a complete waste of time. Let people know you for who you ARE, not who you think you should be.
Author MrNate Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 Your sexual appetite and desire to pursue/want multiple women, overrides a desire for an intimate relationship with one person and perhaps the underlying fear, for you, is that one woman cannot/will not be able to satisfy you. Explore that thought a bit further and see what you come up with. You have to do what feels natural for YOU, and if this type of lifestyle feels natural for you, embrace it with open arms. If it doesn't quite "feel right", then learn to tap into the source that longs for intimacy with one person, and let it guide you....Eventually, one will lead over the other, as it is meant to. Happy journies. Hm. These are good ideas.I'll give them some thought today.
OliveOyl Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I'm 22. In terms of what I want out of life for the next few years? I would say...to get my own business up and running... and to potentially move somewhere near a beach. 22 is young and maybe you subconsciously realize you will be going through a lot of changes and that's why commitment wouldn't suit you now. I would advise not to worry about settling down now at all and focus on the things that interest you. You have plenty of time to settle down... multiple times, even.
Author MrNate Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 Starting your own business is an excellent and smart goal. I work for myself and love it. I say don't worry it about for now. I believe that most men aren't even close to wanting to make a real relationship commitment till around 40. Some men never are. And that's OK! Just be honest with women about what you want. My last boyfriend told me he'd struggled with commitment all his life. The thing is, if he'd been totally honest from the beginning, and not played up the whole "you're the love of my life and I want to marry you" thing, I still would have wanted to have all the good times we had together. But then I would have known what the deal was, and would have kept everything lighter, which would have been healthier for both of us. Just please be honest... with women and -- even more importantly -- with yourself. It's amazing how much people lie to others and themselves, and it's just a complete waste of time. Let people know you for who you ARE, not who you think you should be. Great advice as always, Ruby. I've always been straightforward person, so I'll continue to be honest with women and myself. It seems that honesty is the ultimate key to having everything work out smoothly, and I agree 100%.
Author MrNate Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 22 is young and maybe you subconsciously realize you will be going through a lot of changes and that's why commitment wouldn't suit you now. I would advise not to worry about settling down now at all and focus on the things that interest you. You have plenty of time to settle down... multiple times, even. This is true. I'm thinking this is what I'll wind up doing. Maybe this is in part due to the fact that quite a bit of my friends are getting married so early? Hm. I don't know.
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