crackberry Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) My girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up last weekend. Our relationship fell upon hard times and over the last few months we have been apart from each other. We started to text all the time and basically got sick of each other and the relationship fell apart. She broke up with me last weekend and it hurt. She said that she felt that the love was gone etc. We then agreed to meet yesterday, just her and I. The last few visits we have always had to spend time with her roommates or my family etc., the romance was just not there because there was no time. Anyway, when we got there she confirmed that she felt like there was no chance etc. She would not even let me kiss her and would turn her head everytime. We ended up spending the day together and it was great. She then said she wanted to try to make it work or she thought she wanted to. She held my hand all day,we went to lunch, just her and I. Anyway, at the end she decided that we decided that we should not text anymore and would just call/skype when we felt like it. We also agreed to see each other in 2 weeks for another day trip, again, just her and I. Before she left, she grabbed me and started making out with me and this lasted for 20 minutes, she turned around twice for more hugs/kisses etc. I thought it was a great day. However, last night she sent me an e-mail for being patient and she said " I hope I did not send you mixed signals with all of the kisses etc, it just felt right." Anyone have any idea what she is thinking? I am completely confused. Edited April 17, 2011 by crackberry typo
smudge21 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Two ways to look at this. One, she wants to have her cake and eat it; keep you close but then push you away when things get serious. Two, she has no idea what she really wants and is too insecure to really make a decision. Either way YOU have to make the decision here, by having it out with her and being totally honest that you're confused and this on/off thing is not what you want. Do understand that she may well say goodbye and if she does, then you must go no contact and stay there. When someone is on and off like this you have to stay firm in NC, otherwise you're just giving them exactly what they want (by being there when they need you but not when they don't). That's my take, but see what others think before making any moves.
Author crackberry Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 We were serious, my plan is not to contact her until later in the week. I know she is expecting me to contact her before but I am going to go for Thursday or so.
bonine Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 It can sometimes be difficult to go cold turkey after such a serious relationship. It seems like she might be clinging on to any remnant of the relationship, trying to ween herself off slowly. The BEST thing you can do is NC. Do not let her use you to help her get over you. That will only make you suffer more and reduce the chance you have of working things out. NC will make her miss you of course but it will also force her to make a choice on her own. She needs to feel what life is like without you and if that is something she can deal with. If you stay in contact with her she will just continue you to use you for an emotional crutch. Be strong. I know it is hard but it is the only thing you can do. In time (probably not very long) she will contact you with an answer. best of luck!
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