yolatanga Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I am appalled with myself. I can't believe I freaked out in public. So not me. Last night I went to meet friends and my ex was sitting there by himself. We do not speak. He started to pick up some girl that was sitting next to him. She's not attractive at all, but I guess he's desperate for anything at this point. The problem came when he started talking about me while I was two seats away. So she and her friend kept eyeing me up and laughing. That pissed me off. I started to say loudly "run away, run far away". Finally I got up to leave and I said hello to him and turned to her and said "I'd run if I were you, he's a violent abusive man" (it is true unfortunately) and I walked out. I'm not happy with myself over that. I can't believe I embarassed myself. I can't believe how much time I have wasted morning this man I wasted 8 yrs of my life with. Uggh! He didn't deserve me.
nana841121 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 YOU were just being hurt, they were the low people there. Don't judge yourself too hard. It's ok.
Author yolatanga Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 YOU were just being hurt, they were the low people there. Don't judge yourself too hard. It's ok. Thank you. I needed that. I can't look at myself this a.m. At least I let it out in public what an abusive loser he is. I let him have it in an e-mail this a.m. He wanted out and he ended it in a violent rage and why am I being punished by him? He does these nice things for me in the back ground but in public he treats me like I'm a piece of garbage who needs to be punished?
Good Arms Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Sometimes we might think we're the 'mature' one by ignoring hurtful things when we hear them, but really, don't be too embarrassed - it may not have been your main intention, but you did that girl a favour, in the back of her mind she'll now wonder if he is abusive, and more fool her if she gets involved with him.
PinkChic Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I agree.... Don't be so hard on yourself! Break ups really do bring out the worst in us... I think you would have woke up regretting it MORE if you didn't defend yourself last night. He needs to grow up. Keep your chin up!
smudge21 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Yeah, there's every chance you'd feel just as bad if you hadn't said something. That's the thing with regret - we so wished we'd never done something, but the alternative would just as likely made us regret that too. What's done is done and quite frankly I don't see what the problem is. If anything, maybe you saved some innocent girl from being hurt by this idiot. Think about it that way instead.
Author yolatanga Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 Thanks everyone. He's a 61 yr old immature pig. I'm going to go have fun with some friends instead of beating myself up. Have a great day all.
bonine Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 The cruelty of people never stops amazing me sometimes, some people have such disregard for other's emotions.I know it upset you and you reacted as best you could..like others have said already, they were in the wrong not you. Perhaps it was best to take the high-ground but you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Another thing to consider is how he must be feeling. I don't know this man so I can only speculate but from my experience only very sick people lash out maliciously. Most of the time it is out of desperation, insecurity, regret, etc. I guarantee you he is not a happy person, his actions were out of disconsolateness.
Author yolatanga Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Update to this. There were two girls he was hanging with. Just found out last night I yelled at the wrong one. It was the other one he's been with since we broke up 7 mos ago. I'm sickened by that. 8 yrs together and he is with someone else like that? I'm wondering if he met her before he cowardly hired a lawyer to break up with me? He told people not to tell me and they didn't for fear that it would hurt my feelings. If he was with someone else why was he still checking on me and giving me money while still ignoring me in public. I asked to stop sending me stuff and sending me crumbs. I want and deserve closure. He still has refused to do that. I know now why..SOMEONE ELSE!! Well I let him have it in an e-mail. I see he has responded. I can't even open it. I'm too upset. You never think it is going to be you when I was warned by his ex of how bad he was. He's a classic narcississt. How he handled a few of his past relationships... Left his young wife who had just lost their baby by running off to another state. He never saw or spoke to her again. He laughed that she set his clothes on fire. He lived with someone for 7 yrs. He broke up with her by getting in his plane and living in another state for 3 mos. Never said goodbye. He disappeared. The ex before me was ignored, shunned. That's it. She would call the house for months at a time. He got over her by sweeping me off my feet, wanted to get married and taking care of me until I assume now he met someone else, but blamed the break up on me. If he could have been honest it would have saved me a trillion tears.
kaycstamper Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 If he was that violent and abusive I wouldn't think you'd risk it by saying that in front of him. Better to get a restraining order on him. You spent 8 years of your life with this man, knowing how he treated his wife and baby? Why?
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I am appalled with myself. I can't believe I freaked out in public. So not me. Last night I went to meet friends and my ex was sitting there by himself. We do not speak. He started to pick up some girl that was sitting next to him. She's not attractive at all, but I guess he's desperate for anything at this point. The problem came when he started talking about me while I was two seats away. So she and her friend kept eyeing me up and laughing. That pissed me off. I started to say loudly "run away, run far away". Finally I got up to leave and I said hello to him and turned to her and said "I'd run if I were you, he's a violent abusive man" (it is true unfortunately) and I walked out. I'm not happy with myself over that. I can't believe I embarassed myself. I can't believe how much time I have wasted morning this man I wasted 8 yrs of my life with. Uggh! He didn't deserve me. maybe you should remember how you feel right now and that will helo you move on. it doesnt matter what those girls think of you, what matters is that you seem to know he was not the man for you. let him be their problem
Author yolatanga Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 Well I'm mad at myself for wasting 8 yrs on a man who promised me the world, but caused me such misery. I'm paying the price that's for sure. I'm not handling it well at all. Finding out he was already gone before the break-up burns me and I also find out these excuses he makes for ending it the way he did. None of which are true. It didn't matter what I did or did not do, he was already gone. I've spent so much time blaming myself. My self-esteem is in the crapper. The truth is, he's not a good person and is a classic narcissist. I sent him a scathing e-mail and a left nasty vm. I'm really angry now. I'm mad about the lies he has told about me. I'm mad he acted like he cared privately, but in public he would shun me. I'm mad I knew he was no good, but blindly though "he won't do that to me". I'm mad he has never said he was sorry. I was so nasty in my communication and now feel bad. I made a fool of myself. I know. Now I'm kicking myself. I see he responded to my e-mail. I didn't open it and trashed it. Why do I care about this 61 yr old man who called me names, violently tore up the house more than once, loved me one minute and hated me the next?
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Hell, I'M PROUD OF YOU!!!! You stood up for yourself and you warned the ladies of what a douche rocket this guy is! Nothing to be ashamed about! I hope you're walking around with your head held high. Congrats and take a bow! You proved you're not gonna curl up in a ball and take abuse anymore. You're not gonna stand for anyones BS!!!!!! YAY!!!!!
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