BellePerdant Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 ...But, I wrote it to get it off my chest. I was thinking and y'know... I figured some stuff out. First, that I am a complete idiot. Here I am, bent all out of shape over you, but in reality (here's the second thing), you don't deserve me. I'm too good for you. I stuck around after you cheated on me; you cheated on me three times in one ****ing week. I really don't like being one of those people who picks on other people based on their looks, but the girl you cheated on me with was ugly trash. You even said so yourself, but that didn't stop you from having sex with her, did it jerk-off? You may think, "That happened months ago and you're still bitter?" Well, yeah, just a ****ing tad. I wanted to sweep the bad under the bed and be done with it. I ignored it just like you did. You never even really apologized for doing it until recently and that's because I said something about it. I never felt like I was good enough for you. So, when you cheated on me it really rattled me. I didn't really feel like I was in my skin anymore. I didn't know how to be around you, so instead I was just this embodiment of ugly emotions and feelings like jealousy, anger, resentment... I was just this moody thing. And for awhile that's all I was. I'm sure you were aware. Mind you, I didn't like acting that way, but I really couldn't seem to find any other way to be. ****, and then all the questions. I know you hated it when I asked the questions, but you know, **** you. I would seriously hope that being almost 30 years old, you would realize that keeping open communication with your gf is a vital part of a relationship. Nope, you had to digress to that of a 15 year old. And what a little bitch you'd act like at that. Grow up. I wasn't asking you to tell me if you thought Petrus Christus had managed to fully master realism in his paintings, now was I? I was asking you about your feelings, or, lack of. Anyway, I'm too good for you. When you gave 50, I gave 100. I actually paid attention to your needs. When I saw you sad, or upset, I was ready to do whatever I could to make things better. I was completely devoted to you. I was always open minded to anything you wanted to do. I'm not some Victoria's Secret model, but I am decently attractive. The list goes on, but I feel conceited. Right now, I still think about how I love to be in your arms, because when I think about us, that's usually what comes to mind first. Being in your arms all night, waking up to a shower of kisses and affection. But those are the rosy memories. Here's some thorny ones: Cheating on me Hiding things from me Inability to act your age when it's important Not taking me home when I drank too much Not taking me seriously Lying to me about stupid **** Planning to cheat on me with perfect-bitch-from-Vegas Your pee-pee dance Excessive use of electronic devices Using me for a laugh Even though I would've done it for you, you couldn't go to a party for me Your anti-social pessimism Taking stupid risks at my expense Never being consistent w/ your feelings for me Using me to keep you company Because you're abnormally lucky, I know you're going to find some girl that makes you happy. To me, it's not fair. But there's nothing I can do about it. So, be happy and try your best not to **** it up. The next heart you trample over won't be mine, that's for sure.
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