Mrlonelyone Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Firstly the whole idea that a male female friendship cannot work.... because men and women are sexually attracted to eachother is total BS. I am a bisexual male...I can be attracted to both men and women yet I have male and female friends. I suppose that means I really just want to screw them? Look around at all the really mature (not just in age but actual emotional maturity) adults who are opposite sex friends. Yes it can work. All of that said to the OP do what Carhill suggested. The if these women consider you to be a real friend then they will be willing to listen to your problems too. Otherwise what's in it for you to be their friend? Unless these are the kind of woman (and yes some men do it too) who think they are so wonderful that simply being around them is reward enough.
fishtaco Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Both of them would be relegated in the friend list for this behaviour. I would hang out with them if I had nothing else to do, but given a good-friend invite they would be relegated to second option. Yup this. I'm the same way as you OP. Just because someone told me no doesn't mean I have to cut them off. I normally avoid hitting on friends, but I do hit on acquaintances. If they want to stay friendly, I'm fine with that. If they want to cut things off, I'm fine with that too. But like dispatch3d said, all of the people I associate with, I have rankings. When they do things I like, they go up in rankings. When they do things I don't like, they drop in rankings. As simple as that. If they offer you genuine friendship, that's actually worth a lot. So you ARE getting something out of it, return the favor. But if not, then you have to make sure you get what you want out of the association. Like say, entertainment for a boring day, or they could unknowingly be your wing women at a bar (just by having them know and hang around you is a bonus, especially if they're pretty), or you can use them as a spring board to meet and hit up on their friends. When you sit there and listen to them complain, you are doing a service for them. Make sure you get your payment back. Be it genuine friendship (because I would do that for a friend), or something else. But if you do offer them this service, for the right price of course, you have to do it right too. Your role is to listen and sympathize, not to offer solutions. Remember, they are in the hole they're in because they WANT to be there. They're not interested in hearing about how to climb out.
harmfulsweetz Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Some women can't recognize a good man, even if he were right in front of her. Those are the women to avoid. They have major issues and some of them are bat sh*t crazy. Really? I think sometimes it's not just about being a good man, it's about attraction. I have male friends who are great, and would make great boyfriends/husbands, but that doesn't mean I have to go out with them just because he's a good man. I don't think it's all about women having issues, no one wants to date a man simply on the premise of him being good for her especially if there's no attraction there. Women choose bad men (and men choose bad women) for a variety of reasons, some of it due to issues, personal ones, and other times because they think they are good for them at first, then they manifest into a jerk, when they are too emotionally checked in to check out.
Nexus One Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Really? I think sometimes it's not just about being a good man, it's about attraction. I have male friends who are great, and would make great boyfriends/husbands, but that doesn't mean I have to go out with them just because he's a good man. I don't think it's all about women having issues, no one wants to date a man simply on the premise of him being good for her especially if there's no attraction there. Women choose bad men (and men choose bad women) for a variety of reasons, some of it due to issues, personal ones, and other times because they think they are good for them at first, then they manifest into a jerk, when they are too emotionally checked in to check out. I think what you're saying goes without saying, (we) guys understand that, but that's not the point here. Answer me this question, what girl is so dense that they reject their friend as dating material, then start crying to him about not being able to find a good guy. Don't get me wrong, I understand that they might mean that they aren't able to find a good guy they are attracted to. But to phrase it the way they do is ambiguous and apparently those girls either don't get the sensitivity of the situation in regards to OP's feelings or they're playing games. If it's the first one (i.e. they don't get it), then they don't seem very smart, but if you're friends then that's something you can overcome. If it's the latter (i.e. they're playing games), then they're immature. If they know what they're saying, then they know they're insulting OP. That's not something friends would do. That's the point.
sumdude Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Really? I think sometimes it's not just about being a good man, it's about attraction. I have male friends who are great, and would make great boyfriends/husbands, but that doesn't mean I have to go out with them just because he's a good man. I don't think it's all about women having issues, no one wants to date a man simply on the premise of him being good for her especially if there's no attraction there. Women choose bad men (and men choose bad women) for a variety of reasons, some of it due to issues, personal ones, and other times because they think they are good for them at first, then they manifest into a jerk, when they are too emotionally checked in to check out. Most often it's because they're really attracted to them and end up ignoring every red flag because of it.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 The real tragedy about women who overlook their male friends is that they are too stupid to know when to cash in their chips. A lot of women have a decent looking male friend, whose reliable and honest, and gets along with them really well, but women would rather hold out for a guy whose got the same personality but is 6' instead of 5'8, or has all of this and millions of dollars. Problem with this is like the stock trader who gets greedy and doesn't sell when his stocks spike. As he waits for it to go higher and higher, in a blink of an eye it crashes into a fraction of the value he paid for it and he winds up with nothing. That's going to happen to all of you women who do this, think of this as a warning. Exactly. Some women are so picky, it's unbelievable.
Nexus One Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Exactly. Some women are so picky, it's unbelievable. But they have the right to be picky, everyone does, you do too. If a certain girl doesn't ring your bell, what can you do? It's not like you can force it.
Wolf18 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 But they have the right to be picky, everyone does, you do too. If a certain girl doesn't ring your bell, what can you do? It's not like you can force it. Sure, but if the only girls who "ring my bell" are Giselle Bundchen lookalikes then that is a problem. My problem isn't that there are picky and shallow women, my problem is that it's so many of them, even ugly and average looking ones are expecting the guy from the romance novel cover to sweep her 200 lb self away on his white horse. LOL! I guess we just gotta live with it. Get a wife from another country, should be easy.
chuckles11 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Sure, but if the only girls who "ring my bell" are Giselle Bundchen lookalikes then that is a problem. My problem isn't that there are picky and shallow women, my problem is that it's so many of them, even ugly and average looking ones are expecting the guy from the romance novel cover to sweep her 200 lb self away on his white horse. LOL! I guess we just gotta live with it. Get a wife from another country, should be easy. The problem with this statement is that it is demonstrably false. Sure, you could go through a bunch of dating profiles and find people who are delusional, but spending five minutes out in the real world will show you that there are plenty of average and below average looking men who are married or have significant others. There are plenty of poor men with significant others. There are also plenty of poor and below average looking men with significant others. If what you are writing is true, why is that the case?
Nexus One Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 (edited) The problem with this statement is that it is demonstrably false. Sure, you could go through a bunch of dating profiles and find people who are delusional, but spending five minutes out in the real world will show you that there are plenty of average and below average looking men who are married or have significant others. There are plenty of poor men with significant others. There are also plenty of poor and below average looking men with significant others. If what you are writing is true, why is that the case? In fact not long ago I found out that a girl who is in her 20's lives in my street and looks like the girl with the glasses in this video: http://bit.ly/gvyfGW (apart from looking like her, she wears the exact same glasses too) She has a boyfriend that looks average or below average. But you would not BELIEVE the way she looks at him, she looks so intensely in love with him. That girl could hardly take her eyes off her boyfriend. (almost) Edited April 19, 2011 by Nexus One
Wolf18 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 GUYS! Here's the solution for ya guys endless whining: Make yourself wealthy. Go to the gym, work hard, a lot. Either get yourself elevator shoes(the equivalent of push-up bras), or have a height-surgery. Dress well(women love that). Profit! There ya go. I know that you guys love to cry and cry, and make yourselves to be victims of some imaginable evil from your female friends because they are being banged by someone who isn't you lot, but first, you have to let go of that 'well, I'm going to make myself a friend so that she sees how good of a boyfriend I can be', and GO GET SOME. This is true. I already got a 2 inch height increase for the inside of my shoes that i'll wear when im going out to meet women . I hardly doubt I'm the only guy who will have them, its so interesting how quite a few guys are all so much closer to my height when we're not wearing shoes. A lot of guys know women go crazy for it so I wouldn't be surprised if even 6'0 tall guys wore shoes with extra height.
Author rocketboy9 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Posted April 20, 2011 Hey, if the President of France uses such shoes, and he's one of the males with the highest social status in the world, so can any guy with problems of height, use those shoes. There's nothing to be ashamed of, and its far better to come up with solutions to the problem one has, than complain about how some other guy has it much easier. Good for you bro. You improved yourself instead of doing what is easy, what these guys are doing. Considering the president of France is dating Carla Bruni, I would say he is doing ok . http://www.getkempt.com/current-affairs/nic-at-night.php
dispatch3d Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Exactly. Some women are so picky, it's unbelievable. it's their own grave, let them lay in it. Being hyper critical/over critical isn't good. It makes making friends hard, keeping friends hard, not being mad at other people hard, not being mad at yourself hard. **** I could go on. I feel sorry for anyone whose too critical. Not that I'm not guilty myself. Still, just sayin. It reflects on them poorly, and it affects them in a negative manner. Oh well, ho hum, improve yourself not the world, the latter is not even doable
Shaun-Dro Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 But they have the right to be picky, everyone does, you do too. If a certain girl doesn't ring your bell, what can you do? It's not like you can force it. But as a man, a woman really only has to look decent, maintain that, and be sweet and genuine. Its so easy! Women dont wanna do this but rather complicate things by creating drama, acting stupid, making bad choices, and right back to the well again for a repeat. They're insane! You know why? Because they keep doing the same freaking thing and expect results to differ when they know it wont.
Nexus One Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 But as a man, a woman really only has to look decent, maintain that, and be sweet and genuine. Its so easy! Women dont wanna do this but rather complicate things by creating drama, acting stupid, making bad choices, and right back to the well again for a repeat. They're insane! You know why? Because they keep doing the same freaking thing and expect results to differ when they know it wont. It differs per woman. You really have to look at them individually, you can't look at them as a group and then blame every woman in that group for the errors of some of the women in that group. You as a guy are also allowed to hold women to certain standards when picking your partner. You don't have to choose the women you mention in your post as a partner, not all women are like that.
Shaun-Dro Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It differs per woman. You really have to look at them individually, you can't look at them as a group and then blame every woman in that group for the errors of some of the women in that group. You as a guy are also allowed to hold women to certain standards when picking your partner. You don't have to choose the women you mention in your post as a partner, not all women are like that. So far they're all the same. Of course there are some discrepancies but as a whole, she's avoiding good men like the plague! I do however notice that she's interested when she hits 40 and up with 4 or so kids added to her roster. I dont want her at that age with baggage. I dont have any so why should I take on hers? It seems she only matures and has to go through a whole heap of bad relationships before she gets enough and finally comes over toward decent men. I'm not imagining this because we have thousands of articles of men who say the same thing so there's a solid ring of truth here. Maybe NYC women are just the pits or whatever. They're all dating the same types of guys: young punks. The pretty ones are the worst. And the thing is, I'm not looking for Vanessa Hudgens. I already know they're crap and only wants to date losers. I'm just asking for a decent looking woman in pretty good shape, since I am, and give a serious, well-meaning man a chance and not have already-made families! Perhaps I should relocate after I'm officially done with school since it just isn't working out here at all. I guess being a different sort of man and not the usual "about nothing" type puts me outside the barrel.
Nexus One Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 (edited) Shaun, you sound a bit bitter man. That being said, NYC has a surplus of single women, so there's bound to be at least one single lady in NYC for you, but if you talk to them like you did in that reply, well then that will not be attractive to them. Edited April 20, 2011 by Nexus One
Shaun-Dro Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Shaun, you sound a bit bitter man. That being said, NYC has a surplus of single women, so there's bound to be at least one single lady in NYC for you, but if you talk to them like you did in that reply, well then that will not be attractive to them. Nexus, I never come off like that. I'm always open, charming, funny, etc., but none of that gets me anywhere with these women. They're just too guarded. Like they dont believe a man can treat them well. They would rather believe a jerk to be a jerk than a decent man to be who he is. It seems more like she seems interested when I look serious and never smile. I'm not sure why she would seem interested then. Maybe just curious and not exactly "interested"? I'm sorry if I come off jaded. I dont mean to be this way, but when you can never catch a break and see all these single decent-looking women all around you it builds on you. These women are single because they enjoy it obviously and hanging out with their homegirls, dressing sexy, with the intent to tease. Us men, yea, we deal with it but dont necessarily enjoy the single life all the time. If I caught a break, just one from a girl of my liking, it would do a world of wonder to my confidence, seriously. But as it stands, I'm not alone on this issue, as most of my male acquaintances are single and have been for a long time. Who's to blame for that? I think you can figure it out .
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