lesoiseaux Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Hi everyone, I am currently in a relationship (not long distance) and we have been dating for about 7 months. We are both graduating college in the next month and I have decided to move across the country for grad school, starting in August. He's not sure of his plans yet, but they do not involve moving across the country...so, the question of a LDR is on the horizon. My question is, how do you decide if it's "worth it" to pursue a LDR? As for myself, I am totally willing to give it a try so long as he intends to stay with me long term (aka, the 2 years I will be away getting my Masters). The way I see it, I'm incredibly happy with him and I don't want to give that up just because I am moving. I just really like him. We haven't discussed anything at length since his plans for the future are unknown, but he has said that he thinks he would want to give it a shot. I am quite sure that none of his reservations are related to me, but rather to his current state of mind -- lately he's been a little lost with the whole unknown prospect of "the future". I think a lot of things are weighing heavily on his mind. What factors should I be taking into account when deciding whether to pursue a LDR? Oh, and I don't know if this is particularly relevant, but it's not irrelevant: I've met his parents and will be meeting his extended family next month, when we graduate.
HeavenOrHell Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 LDR's have most chance of working if you're both totally committed to wanting to make it work, with an end in sight, which you already have (2 years). You'd also need to take into consideration how hard it can be and be willing to put lots of effort into keeping things going and maintaining your bond. Communication and honesty and as much contact as possible are crucial. Will you have enough time for contact when you are long distance and studying? Also, how often will you see each other? If you're teenagers or in your 20's things can change a lot in the future and the direction in which your lives will be going, for some young people an LDR might be too much to commit to as you/he may not want to tie yourself down to one person just yet, especially one living far away, and you don't know where he'll end up studying or where either of you will want to work/live in the future. There's a lot of ifs and buts, but bottom line is if a couple are both 100% committed, and know what they want from life, and know what they have is special and too precious to give up, then it can work. Hi everyone, I am currently in a relationship (not long distance) and we have been dating for about 7 months. We are both graduating college in the next month and I have decided to move across the country for grad school, starting in August. He's not sure of his plans yet, but they do not involve moving across the country...so, the question of a LDR is on the horizon. My question is, how do you decide if it's "worth it" to pursue a LDR? As for myself, I am totally willing to give it a try so long as he intends to stay with me long term (aka, the 2 years I will be away getting my Masters). The way I see it, I'm incredibly happy with him and I don't want to give that up just because I am moving. I just really like him. We haven't discussed anything at length since his plans for the future are unknown, but he has said that he thinks he would want to give it a shot. I am quite sure that none of his reservations are related to me, but rather to his current state of mind -- lately he's been a little lost with the whole unknown prospect of "the future". I think a lot of things are weighing heavily on his mind. What factors should I be taking into account when deciding whether to pursue a LDR? Oh, and I don't know if this is particularly relevant, but it's not irrelevant: I've met his parents and will be meeting his extended family next month, when we graduate.
aerogurl87 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 At the seven month mark you should be getting a good idea if you can see a future with this guy. If the answer is yes, then give it a go. That way you won't look back and always wonder "what if". If the answer is no though, well do you both a favour and break up.
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